Daily Feline Prompt: Say Your Feline Name

Write about your name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself

Tabby

“Of course I was known under many names in my active days Mrs. Human.”

“Really, what were you active about?”

“Shhhhh, not everyone has to hear. I was serving the feline cause. Oh yes, it was a risky time, but I was very clever. I was the one that discovered the great catnip conspiracy.”

“That sounds quite dangerous.”

“It was Mrs. Human, I was lucky to get away with my whiskers. I heard that a meeting was planned at midnight at the Moggie Den. A delivery of the best quality was expected, real snowball, Persian sugar of the best quality. I got the message over the telepathic communications and the boss said I should be there. So I made myself on my way. I could see their eyes flickering in the reflections of the fires, but I hid in a mouse hole that I had especially extended to fit my figure.”

“Was that possible?”

“Of course, I just threatened the mice and said they should dig a mega hole for me, otherwise they would feel the revenge of the catafia. I also promised them some of the loot afterwards. They decided to go in for the deal. Gaitto Capone  had arrived and was testing the quality of the catnip. Gradually the other members of the gang appeared and I then gave the mice the signal.They were well organised, Minnie the Moocha was their boss. The mice arrived, must have been at least 100 of them and they were everywhere. Even Gatto Capone could not resist the temptation and he and his men scattered chasing after the mice. What they did not know was that the mice were a group from Bastet’s corn chambers, usually applied to keep his cats of the 10th life happy. They were all reborn. Nera my litter sister, may she enjoy her 10th life, organised that part of the deal with Bastet.

Now was my chance and I grabbed what I could, must have been at least 3 legs full of catnip. I hobbled off with the loot.”

“And they never suspected you?”

“Of course not, My name is Tabby, Tabby Cat and who suspects an average tabby cat. It is better to remain incognito in life, the one that always runs from the others and be above suspicion. It is all a trick Mrs. Human, I am above suspicion. Now I must go, 9 life Paws Bond has a job for me. It is rumoured that there will be an attempt to take over the mills where they make the vitamin food.”

“I didn’t think you liked those pellets.”

“That is not the point, when 9 life Bond calls, you have to go. It is a matter of honour.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Say Your Feline Name

Daily Feline Prompt: Felines Live to Eat

Some felines eat to live, while others live to eat. What about you? How far would you travel for the best meal of your life?

tabby

“Mrs. Human, instead of standing in front of the window taking a photo of me, it would be more intelligent to open the window and let me in. I am hungry, although the selection does not look so good.”

“Ok Tabby, I just thought that your fans and followers would like to see a photo of you as you have been absent for two days from your blogging site.”

“Yes, I wanted to ask about that. Here I was waiting for the computer switch-on, and no human. She was laying on a bed or in a chair with her foot on a cushion. Now and again she was hobbling around on a stick. This is not the idea Mrs. Human, what about me?”

“Sorry Tabby, but I had an accident and fell down and injured my foot.”

“But you did not injure your fingers, so you could write my thoughts down for me. When are you going to eventually organise a paw friendly lap top, then there will be no problem. I will not have to rely on humans that have accidents.”

“Thanks for asking how I am Tabby.”

“I didn’t”

“I noticed, it is just something that we humans do now and again, especially if someone is injured.”

“Good for the humans. We felines are more realistic.  In a week I am sure the accident will be forgotten and your foot will be its usual colour. So now to the food. I live to eat, of course, but unfortunately my prey does not often oblige.”

“What do you mean?”

“The birds of course. They are supposed to die to make them easier to eat, but they fly away and I cannot catch thrm.”

“But Tabby, you always have enough food.”

“Define “food” Mrs. Human. If we are talking about my weekly ration of tuna fish from a tin which cannot be opened with a paw friendly tin opener, because it has not yet been invented, then that is not the idea. I would starve until you open the tin.”

“But you have other food to eat.”

“And if you are referring to the hard tasteless chewy vitamin pellets that taste of nothing special, then forget it. The neighbour’s feline always gets a share of the roasted meat on Sunday.”

“But I always give you same samples of what we eat at lunch when you sit and beg for it.”

“Exactly, I have to beg. A donation would be very much appreciated. Anything left from dinner?”

“Some bacon.”

“Did you flavour it with some tarragon or powdered mouse.”

“Not exactly.”

“Forget it, I will retire to my cushion and sleep. Please check in an hour to see if I have not yet died of starvation.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Felines Live to Eat

Daily Feline Prompt: Naked with Black Feline Socks

Are you comfortable in front of people, or does the idea of public speaking make you want to hide in the bathroom? Why?

“Move over Tabby, I am doing the blogging today.”

“Hi Nera, but don’t make too much noise. Mrs. Human might hear you and you know how funny she gets when she sees a feline living her 10th life. She thinks you are a ghost, although I must say you are getting a bit transparent at the edges.”

“That is normal, we all look like that in the eternal corn chambers. Talking of naked with black socks, do you remember this memorable occasion.”

Nera the cat had a haircut

“How could I forget it Nera, although you seemed to bear it quite well.”

“I didn’t have a choice. I was quite happy laying in the sun, cleaning my beautiful sleek black fur and suddenly packed into a cage to the vet. How degrading.”

“But Mrs. Human did mention that your fur was the home for many other animals, such as snails and ants, even tics and it would be better for you to have a groom at the vets.”

“This was not a groom, it was a crime. Did she ask me, no. I had no choice in the matter. The snails were quite comfortable in my fur, although they mostly dehydrated. I did not even see an ant, and as for the tics. Ok, they fell off when they were satisfied I did not invite Mrs. Human to tread on one. She got hysterical, and found that red stains on her wonderful white tiled floor were not exactly so nice.”

“You must admit Nera, you felt a lot better afterwards.”

“First feline rule, never admit to anything. don’t lead humans into  believing you agree to anything.  To continue I returned home with this new look. Black socks and the rest left to the feline imagination.”

“I must say Nera, you do not look very happy in that photo.”

“Would you Tabby? To add insult to injury, she took my photo. At least I have never seen Bastet with scissors or an electric machine cutting fur. So now I must be going, duties call. We have a some new comers and I must show them around and where the best mice are.”

“How’s Fluffy?”

“He is fine Tabby. He is still in training but will pay a visit as soon as he has the time. So I am off now. And remember, keep your fur short, it is safer.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Nacked wih Black Feline Socks

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Voice Work

Your blog is about to be recorded into an audiobook. If you could choose anyone — from Garfield to Grumpy Cat — to narrate your posts, who would it be?

tabby

“Meow, meow, meow, hiss”

“Tabby that will not work, Not everyone can speak meow.”

“Mrs. Human the only members of the public that read my blogs are felines. I am a their voice to the human world.”

“But there are some humans that also read your blogs.”

“Really. Ok, start recording Mrs. Human, I am ready. Shall I say a few words just to tune up the microphone.”

“That might be a good idea.”

“Down with hard vitamin food pellets. Territorial rights for all felines.”

“Just a minute Tabby, it is only a voice test, not a manifesto.”

“I was just practicing Mrs. Human. Can I do the real thing now?”

“Go ahead. You should wear the headphones.”

“I do not wear headphones, my ears cannot support them. To continue:

Roschti, Butch, Tiddles and Tootsie, I am recording this blog in human, Meow, meow, meow.”

“Tabby that is not human.”

“I know, I was just putting in a few words for my feline followers.”

“Perhaps you could translate?”

“I don’t think so Mrs. Human. All I said was “we felines have to stoop to the usage of a primitive language for the humans now and again”.

To continue: It is with pleasure that I can now enlighten the humans on how to respect a member of the feline species. Our food bowls are to be continuously filled. There is no such thing as dinner and supper in our meow tongue, feeding time is a continuous episode in our lives to be savoured when we are in the mood, and not when humans feel it should be done. Remember, o humans, we should be treated with the due respect that warrants our privilege as being worshipped as gods in the old country. Unfortunately a certain amount of respect for our existence has been lost, due to various incidents involving witches and killing and eating the human’s budgerigar or canary. This could be avoided. We prefer to take our prey outside in the freedom of nature, but some of us felines have the fate to be kept behind closed doors and so we take what we can. It is one of our laws of nature “if it moves, has feathers, kill it and eat it”, which explains the demise of Tweety and Chirpy and all their relations. As a result you will have happy, healthy, well fed cats. Do not forget the feline does not live on hard vitamin pellets alone, there is a need for fresh fish. In this connection I would tell the humans that the time is now ripe for a paw friendly tin opener…..

Mr. Human, you have unplugged the microphone.”

“Yes Tabby, think you have made your point.”

“But I wanted to tell all the humans to kneel when we enter a room and ….”

“Tabby, no, it is enough.”

“But Whiskers Lenin said ”The best way to destroy the human system is the invention of the paw friendly tin opener.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Voice Work

Daily Feline Prompt: My Feline Song

Take a line from a song that you love or connect with. Turn that line into the title of your post.

Tabby

Tuna fish, tuna fish

Meow meow meow

my favourite dish

It makes me happy,

full of joy

Now give me my cat nip

my favourite toy

Tabby is clever, Tabby is good

I sharpen my claws

on a piece of wood

I, me and myself are all I need

And a mouse and bird to fulfil my greed

And now to sleep to rest my eyes

Worshipped as a god

I am so wise

Mrs. Human is good, she is so brave

tickles my tummy – a perfect slave.

I sing this song

I take a bow

I am the best

Meow, meow

Daily Feline Prompt: My Feline Song

Daily Feline Prompt: A Bird, A Mouse, You!

You get to choose one superpower. Pick one of these, and explain your choice:
• the ability to speak and understand any language
• the ability to travel through time
• the ability to make any two people agree with each other

tabby

I speak fluent meow which is understood by Mrs. Human, so I need no other language. It is enough  to have my food bowel filled regularly and my recycling tray emptied. It even enables a tummy tickle when I require one.

I can speak “tweet” an “chirp” which allows me to understand my feathered friends, the birds. Unfortunately they do not understand me, and I seem to frighten them away by just making an appearance. All I want to do is to study their beautiful feathers that I know whether the bird will be easy to digest. Feathers do tend to get in the way when chewing. They sometimes even cause a hairball. The last time I moved towards one of the meals on wings, it flew way and chirped to its colleagues “Beware, feline on the way”. I was insulted.

The problem with mice is that they live in the underworld and only appear at night. This is one of the reasons why I tend to lead a nocturnal life. Once a mouse is caught their end is nigh and I like to show Mrs. Human the finished product of my hunting efforts. Unfortunately she has no understanding, and generally puts it into the garbage. Once more deprived of an appetising meal.

As far as the special gift of time travel is concerned: we felines do that all the time really. One of the gifts we inherited from Bastet – do you really think we sleep so much. We travel back to the days when we had our godly status, respected and worshipped for our powers of keeping the corn chambers mouse-free. One day, when my time arrives, I will achieve my 10th life and again regain my rightful status. In the meanwhile I am doomed to a life of vitamin pellets from the supermarket. Needless to say we avoid the middle ages – who wants to be burnt at a stake, just because our human happens to be a witch.

I just do not get this thing about agreeing with each other. I have never met a feline that agrees with another feline. It does not belong to our purpose in life. There is no fun if I take a walk through the territory of the next door feline and he invites me to share his freshly caught bird or mouse, or even get high sharing his cat nip. No, we fight for out rights, a hiss and a paw swipe belong to the daily feline routine, without it we are fighting a lost cause.

Daily Prompt: A Bird, A Mouse, You!

Daily Feline Prompt: Roaring Feline Laughter

What was the last thing that gave you a real, authentic, tearful, hearty belly laugh? Why was it so funny?

tabby

“Tabby, smile for the camera.”

“You must be kidding Mrs. Human. Since when does smile exist in meow.”

“But you must have an expression to show when you find something is funny.”

“Mrs. Human, felines do not do “funny”, unless of course it might be that the feline next door gets carried away in the claws of a buzzard, or is captured by a fox. That might bring a slight smile to my face.”

“Now that is not very nice Tabby.”

“Nice also does not exist in meow. And who cares. If I was caught in the paws of a fox, or kidnapped by a bird of prey, the cat next door would also clap his paws. It lays in the feline nature of things. What’s mine is mine and everything else is also mine if I am there first.”

“But you can still turn your head to the camera.”

“No, this is one of my artistic poses, and the back of my head also has its appeal. Just look at the fur tips on my ears. They are perfect, not every feline has them. It is only the special chosen felines that have the points of their ears accentuated by wisps of fur. And of course the perfect symmetry of my head. I can see a slight bump on the left hand side, but that is the remainder of the hard feline vitamin pellets that I have not yet chewed to satisfaction. The digestion of such food takes longer. If it had been feline friendly tuna fish, or even a morsel of minced filet steak this unsightly lump would not be showing. By the way, I thought I saw a chicken somewhere. Did you kill it yourself?”

“No Tabby, I bought it in the supermarket and will be cooking it later.”

“Ok, then a leg will do me, even a wing, but remove the bones first.”

“Tabby I did not intend to serve you chicken as well.”

“And if I smile for the camera. You can even take my photo as I am devouring the chicken.”

Daily Prompt: Roaring Feline Laughter