Daily Feline Prompt: But no Catnip

Meow us about a time things came this close to working out… but didn’t. What happened next? Would you like the chance to try again, or are you happy with how things eventually worked out?

Cat seen from window at work

“So there I was waiting in the middle of the field waiting for Bubu.”

“You mean the catnip dealer Tabby?”

“Yes, he promised me some samples from the new harvest. It was supposed to be a record harvest, one of the best up to now. Fresh from the garden and no feline had every sniffed it or rolled in it. Real virgin stuff.”

“What’s virgin Tabby?”

“Fluffy do not ask silly questions. Suffice it to be said that we are both errr like that.”

“Is it something good.?”

“According to how you look at it. Do you want screaming kittens waiting to be fed.”

“Not really Tabby, but that’s not my job.”

“I know, it would be mine, but – you know what, forget it.”

“Ok so what happened.”

“Bubu did not turn up. I had three dead mice ready as payment.”

“Where are the mice?”

“I still have them.”

“If Bubu won’t get them you could let me have one, before they start smelling.”

“They already smell, but sort of feline appetising smell. Here take this one.”

“Oh, thanks Tabby, so what happened.”

“Well after waiting in the middle of a field being exposed to all sorts of dangers I decided to go home. It was then that Roschti walked past smelling of catnip in all his whiskers and fur.”

“You mean he did a catnip raid on Bubu.”

“Looked like it, although it was a wonder he found the way home. He was as high as a bird, and meowing like a feline on a hot tin roof.”

“So what did you do.”

“What did I do. I waited until he fell into a catnip trance and pounced.”

“And”

“Come with me to the bottom of the garden, it’s dream time for us.”

“Great, well done Tabby, who wants tuna fish when we can have catnip.”

Daily Feline Prompt: But no Catnip

Daily Feline Prompt: Third does not exist in Meow

Head to “Blogs I Follow” in the Reader. Scroll down to the third post in the list. Take the third sentence in the post, and work it into your own.

Garfield? - the neighbour's cat

“We have a problem Fluffy.”

“No food left in the bowl?”

“No, food is not our only problem.”

“It’s my only problem. Tell Mrs. Human to fill it up.”

“There is food Fluffy, but the daily feline prompt is a problem.”

“Why? Is it your turn today or mine?”

“It says something about “Blogs I follow”. We do not follow blogs, We are felines not dogs and follow no-one. We do our own thing.”

“What else does it say?”

“We have to scroll down to the third post on the list and write about the third sentence.”

“But Tabby, we are only programmed for No. 1, second and third is unimportant.”

“I know, it must be a human thing. Let’s just do it our way, as usual. I noticed that the ginger tom from next door did not follow yesterday, but it was a completely human mistake.”

“Must have been Tabby, felines do not make mistakes, unless confused by a human. What happened?”

“It seems it was tuna fish day, although that is a mistake in itself. Felines are programmed to eat tuna fish daily, it is only the humans that have things like organisation. Anyhow Mr. Human was in charge as Mrs. Human was writing her human bloggy stuff. He decided to put the bowl of tuna outside in the garden.”

“He did what? But we always have our bowls of food inside.”

“I know, another human big idea. They think because the weather is warmer and the sun is shining we want to eat outside. We were not asked. Anyhow as usual we did not eat it all and left some for later, after our wash and sleep. In the meanwhile Roschti, the ginger tom, invaded our territory and saw the half full dish.”

“Oh no, I can imagine the rest. Did you fight bravely for our rights to finish the dish.”

“Sorry, I was sleeping, remember and so were you. I had my usual one eye half open in case something happened.”

“And you let him eat it all?”

“Do you really think I was going to risk my whiskers in a fight with a subordinate ginger tom for half a dish of tuna fish?”

“And that was why there was none left, just a dish of vitamin dried pellets?”

“That’s the way the tuna flakes, as we felines say.”

“Did Mr. Human at least defend our rightful possession.”

“Forget it. “Look Mrs. Human, Roschti is eating the remainder of the tuna fish, ha, ha, ha” he said. He actually thought it was funny.”

“Typical human. I think we should disown him for ignoring our rights.”

“So do I, but there is a problem.”

“If we do that we have to ignore his pathetic attempts to feed us further bowls of tuna fish. He would not be there to open the tin.”

“And Mrs. Human?”

“Mr. Human would probably tell her we are ungrateful felines and would join him. Sort of human assistance support organisation.”

“There is only one solution, we will go on strike and sleep all day.”

“Somehow I don’t think that will make an impression.”

“We could hire a killer to depose of Roschti.”

“Oh, great, but as far as I know, Roschti is the only killer we can hire in our area.”

“Let’s just sleep it over. What was that prompt, the third post and the third sentence. Let me see.”

“Won’t work, we don’t have the word “third” in meow.”

“Let’s sleep it over.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Third does not exist in Meow

Daily Feline Prompt: Weaving the Whiskers

Paw a post with three parts, each unrelated to the other, but create a common thread between them by including the same item — an object, a symbol, a place — in each part.

Fluffy eating tuna fish

“What’s that Tabby?”

“That’s Part one of our feline post.”

“Me and an empty dish. You must be joking.”

“No, it is all very etheric, almost surreal, a thing of impossibility.”

“Tabby can you remain feline, I did not understand a word.”

“Wait until you see part two.”

“Part two?”

“Yes, although you have to imagine it because my paws are tired from the pawpad exercise and I cannot manage a second photoshop. Now your dish is empty, so think. What can you do with an empty dish?”

“Fill it with food?”

“Not very imaginative Fluffy. You can push it around with your nose, sit in the dish, or even find a dead mouse and put it in the dish. You could also dress in a paper hat with a cloak and recite a poem from the Dada movement.”

“Tabby, what is the sense of pushing a dish around with my nose? There is not enough room to sit in the dish and I don’t find dead mice because I am blind, and probably if there was a dead mouse you would have eaten it. Can you eat Dada?””

“But you have to use your imagination. This will be a masterpiece of literature when I am finished, in three parts, and no you cannot eat Dada, it is a thought process putting you in a creative dimension.”

“I can’t wait Tabby, so what is part 2?”

“I thought you could do that part.”

“I don’t do three part things, but OK, fill up the dish with something edible, like tuna fish?”

“That is where Mrs. Human comes into this three part work of art. She will open a tin of tuna fish and fill the dish.”

“What will I do Tabby? Forget it, it is Tuesday today and you get the tuna fish ration on Wednesday.”

“But Mrs. Human, Bastet does not have days of the week. It says in the book of Bastet, Chapter 1095, verse 44, “time is an irrelevant feature of a feline life. We exist, we breathe, we eat, we sleep when we want to.” And Mrs. Human we now want to eat tuna fish. It is all part of a project.”

“It is not part of my project Tabby.”

“But it is part 2 of the Daily Feline Prompt.”

“Then you will have to miss that part out and continue to Part 3.”

“OK Tabby, you heard Mrs. Human, so what is part 3?.”

“We all sleep.”

“But we sleep every day Tabby.”

“But this time we sleep as part 3 of the daily feline prompt.”

“is that a different type of sleep.”

“It would have been if Mrs. Human had filled part 2 with tuna fish. She has no understanding for the artistic talents of a feline.”

“Fluffy, Tabby, go to sleep. You seem to do part three all day sometimes. Even disciples of Dada sleep.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Weaving the Whiskers

Daily Feline Prompt: Catwriter

If you could have any author –living or dead – write your catography, who would you choose?

Tabby

“And Tabby existed. She decided to sleep, one of those infinite sleeps.”

“What are you writing Fluffy?”

“I am appointed as your official catographer for the Daily Feline Prompt.”

“You are telling all the brave deeds I have performed, great. Don’t forget to tell how good I am at doing it all in the feline ways.”

“I am Tabby, and so I will continued. – “And Tabby slept another three hours, she moved her whiskers whilst sleeping and turned, her paw resting silently as she slept.”

“But Fluffy, I have done more worthy actions than sleeping.”

“I know Tabby, I am getting to the exciting bit now.”

“To continue – “Tabby felt a movement in the air. A fly buzzed past her nose. She awoke, and walked towards the bowl of food containing vitamin enriched pellets. She sniffed and filled her mouth with the food, savouring every morsel. Her feline appetite and aim were fulfilled. She walked to the nearest resting place and began to lick herself, carefully, ensuring that every morsel of food was removed. She circled three times, and sank into oblivion. She was sleeping.”

“Fluffy, if you don’t mind me saying, my biography is beginning to sound quite monotonous. Everyone knows what a fulfilled life I lead. Up in the morning early, exploring my territory, experiencing all the surprises that life has to offer. You are giving the public the impression that all I do is sleep and eat.”

“Patience Tabby. I am now coming to the exciting part. – Tabby arises from her sleeping position and pulls her body together. She opens her mouth to say something perhaps. No, she can only meow, but excitement is on its way. She coughs once, she coughs twice and then she is successful. The fur ball has arrived for all to see. There is excitement, Tabby is proud to have produced such a wonderful fur ball, the highlight of her day. Mrs. Human is less proud, and clears it away accompanied by a few human profanities. And Tabby sleeps again. She wakes, cleans her whiskers and strolls to her favourite pole position on top of the cupboard. She sleeps for another four hours and …….”

“No, no, Fluffy. Is this my bequest to the world. Where are my words of Cataism, my transcendental feline meditational wisdom.?”

“You do that all in your sleep Tabby.”

“How do you know when I am sleeping.”

“You sleep 23 hours and spend an hour searching for a place to sleep involving a few minutes eating. Your equations and thoughts on the meaning of feiline life all take part when you are sleeping.”

“How do you know Fluffy.”

“That is the only time you have left to ponder over the feline questions of existence, your waking moments are fulfilled with other tasks. “And so is the life of Tabby” – The End.”

“Fluffy, do you really think that will be a best seller?”

“Oh yes definitely, All those people on the daily feline prompts will buy it.”

“But we are the only two felines that write a daily feline prompt.”

“You see Tabby, I will be your best customer.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Catwriter

Daily Feline Prompt: This is my place

Write about a time you had a feline experience, exploring different choices and finally arriving at “just right.”

Tabby

“Tabby I just wanted to sleep on that chair.”

“Which chair?”

“The one you have decided to sleep on.”

“Bad luck Fluffy, I was here first, try another chair.”

“OK, I will go to the black leather stressless chair.”

“No, Fluffy, no way.”

“Why not Tabby?”

“Because when I have finished sleeping here, I will go to the black leather stressless chair.”

“But you are comfortable on the chair that I want to sleep on.”

“And. I might be more comfortable on the black leather chair.”

“Ok, then I will sleep on the black leather chair until you have finished sleeping on the chair you are on.”

“But I have finished sleeping here. I am now going to the black leather chair.”

“You know what, sleep on the black leather chair, I will sleep on the cushion in our playcenter.”

“Not my favourite sheep fleece cushion. I was going to sleep there.”

“You said you was changing to the black leather chair.”

“I changed my mind.”

“But I am already laying on the sheep fleece cushion.”

“Then you will have to move.”

“No Tabby, I am comfortable here, although I could perhaps sleep on the bathroom carpet where it is so warm from the floor heating.”

“A good idea Fluffy, I love that carpet, am on my way.”

“I knew that trick would work, Tabby loves that bathroom carpet and now I can sleep on the black leather stressless chair. It’s mine, who needs a Goldilocks effect, just a little feline psychology does the trick.”

Daily Feline Prompt: This is my Place

Daily Feline Prompt: Having a Meowmare

What’s the most surreal experience you’ve ever had?

This is a reblog of the entry I wrote the first time this prompt appeared. I never posted it on this site, so here it is. At the time our chief cat Nera was still amongst us and not yet left for the Kingdom of Bast where I am convinced she still pays a visit to my other two felines now and again.

Impressions of September monthly market in Solothurn

“MEOW help, they are coming to get me” and Nera fell from her pole position on the cat play center. Tabby her litter sister rushed to see what had happened and Fluffy turned his head in her direction when she landed on the floor with a thump.

“Nera what is the matter. I told you not to eat too much tuna. Now you have the result. You have lost your balance because of your weight problems. Give yourself a lick and you will feel better.” said Tabby.

“I did not fall from my pole position on the cat gymnastic centre because of my weight problems which I do not have, I had a bad dream. Hundreds of glowing felines with staring eyes were after me. They wanted to dissolve me with their green and organge liquids.”

“Cool down Nera, I dream all the time, although I have never had glowing felines in my dream, but now and again a glowing mouse that always seems to escape just as I had my claws ready to pounce.” Fluffy was trying to help, but Nera was not interested.

“Fluffy, this is serious and no Tabby, a lick will not help and if you are insinuating that I am overweight, it is just fluff. I can still hear the growls and the bubbling of their poison. Green and orange, just terrible. I am sure I will not be able to close my eyes again for a long while.”

“Nera perhaps you ate something that didn’t agree with you. I told you that eating tuna after fresh mouse is not good for you. That mouse looked a bit dodgy as well. Probably gave himself up. Seems to me you are a bit slow on your legs these days.” said Tabby.

“Tabby that mouse was very tasty, are you jealous that it was my paws that caught him? I am not slowing down, I just do not like to rush around, it spoils the rhythm of my wonderful feline movements.”

“I dream all the time Nera, but only of nice things like mouse holes, birds sitting within paw distance and lots of wonderful juicy butterflies flying around my nose. Then I really sink into a Nirvana sleep.” Fluffy was trying to reassure Nera.

“Fluffy, you astound me. You mean a sleep like the imperturbable stillness of mind after the fires of desire, aversion, and delusion have been finally extinguished.” said Tabby.

“Yes exactly Tabby, you have brought it to a point.”

“Excuse me Tabby and Fluffy, but I do not want to interrupt your mystic conversation, which seems to be drifting onto a higher level of my understanding, but I was woken up by something surreal, a progression of Dada, it was a horror dream, a catmare – get it?”

“Nera, we know the solution. Fix your eyes on your photo of Garfield, signed by his pawprint. Make two circles with your wonderful streamline body, close your eyes and sink into oblivion, thinking only of your hero, Garfield. He will rid you of all negative surrealistic thoughts.”

And so Nera sunk once more into a sleep. Her monsters had disappeared and she was soothed into sleep by the visions of her dream cat, Garfield. She decided it might have been the food, although it could also have been the film she watched on the television, Cat People. It disturbed her to think that humans could change into cats.

Daily Feline Prompt: Having a Catmare

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline on the Chair

If you could be a “fly on the wall” anywhere and at any time in history, where and when would you choose?

Fluffy having a rest

“I used to eat flies when I was younger and could catch them. Now I just feel them buzz past my nose.”

“You are blind Fluffy, that is why you don’t catch them.”

“What’s blind Tabby.”

“Forget it Fluffy, you are OK. I don’t like flies, they have a bitter after taste, much prefer a bird, they fly as well.”

“True Tabby. By the way what do you think of my pose on the photo.”

“Looks good, as if you were a feline model.”

“Yes, that’s the idea. I sent the photo over my pawpad to Paw-Chat Rodin, the famous feline sculpturer and he said I have a good chance.”

“A good chance for what?”

“You know that guy on the pedestal in London called Nelson. He has four lions at the base of the statue.”

“But you are not a lion Fluffy.”

“That is just a fluke of nature. Bastet cannot do everything according to your wish. Anyhow they are going to make a similar statue of Bastet for somewhere in a place called Egypt and they need four felines to model the base at each corner, like that Nelson guy has and Paw-Chat Rodin will be able to model me from my photo online.”

“You will become famous Fluffy. Does he need a good looking Tabby feline as well.”

“He might Tabby. He reckons he can do me in marble, because I am white. I am sure he will have a chunk of granite somewhere for a Tabby cat. Perhaps Mrs. Human will take a photo of you when you are relaxing outside, but you must stay awake and look serious and determined.”

“You mean a thoughtful intellectual pose, something like his great work The Feline Thinker.”

“Yes exactly Tabby. “

“What’s he paying Fluffy?”

“It’s an honour Tabby, we don’t get paid.”

“You mean not even a dead mouse or a butterfly is in the deal.”

“You will be rewarded by the people that will come to see your statue.”

“But that will be in Egypt.”

“We will have to watch the FelineTube film on our pawpad in that case and Paw-Chat Rodin said he would send a signed pawprint.”

“Big deal, but you cannot eat paw prints.”

“Tabby there are other things in life than food.”

“Yes, like sleep.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline on the Chair