Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Tassel

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Tabby

Of course I have a tassel. It goes wherever I go and is attached to my collar. The collar is part of my dress code. No feline is properly dressed without a collar. Mrs. Human said something about if I got lost, people could open the tassel and inside there is my name, address and even my telephone number. I am not sure about that. I do not have opposable thumbs and if the telephone would ring I could not pick it up, although Mrs. Human says it is not for me but for her. She rests better knowing that I would be found and she would be informed.

Seems to be a big fuss about nothing. We felines never get lost, we know where our territory is, although it seems to be something about losing a life – no problem, I still have a few spare lives left and when they are all gone, I get the 10th life, so what’s the fuss.

Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Tassel

Feline RDP Monday: Bold Feline

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Tabby

Of course I am bold
I am the bravest cat alive
I have fear of nothing
On danger I can thrive
Of course I am careful
And sharpen up my claws
I only venture outside
carefully on all paws
If I am in my territory
and there is another cat
He might hiss and want to fight
He does not want to chat
I now have a choice
Shall I pounce,
push him to the floor
I am a pacifist,
and leave through my door
There is no point of bloodshed
Because it might be mine
And so I turn away from trouble
He might begin to whine
Being bold is one thing
Being brave as well
I prefer to run away
He might start to yell

Feline RDP Monday: Bold Feline

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Bail

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Tabby

Sleep has got me in its grip
So bail me out with a gentle nip
I have so many things to do
And when I sleep I forget what’s due
I must wash my face and paws
Not forgetting whiskers and jaws
And then I have to eat my food
The problem is I feel so subdued
Now it’s time to shake my tail
Movement must be, I am not in a jail
Being a feline life is one stress
I should do more, but do less and less
I smell the scent of tuna fish
Time to move to eat from my dish
And then a visit to the recycling tray
Another task to find a way
Life is hard, I really could weep
but I am back on my chair and sinking in sleep

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Bail

Feline RDP Saturday: Tabus catus

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Tabby

Ego sum felis catus
I am not antiquorum
My ancestors built Rome in a day
But disappeared in the forum
We felines were here
when humans were still in trees
So why speak latin
A language freeze
Meow is much easier,
Although it varies in tongue
The Persians have to many verbs
and the Siamese almost none
I am multi cattus
I understand them all
I prefer not to speak it
I have a Tabby accent drawl
Mrs. Human understands me
Especially when I scratch
Claws are so useful
To emphasise a match
So do it ad hoc
And add some catus diem
It is all done in bono fide
Quid pro quo cattus verbatim

Quod Erat Demonstrandum – Tabus Catus

Feline RDP Saturday: Tabus catus

Feline RDP Friday: Hopeful Feline

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Tabby

Hope does not exist in meow
We do not need it, we always know how
We influence our humans with telepathic waves
Never forget that they are our chosen slaves
If I want tuna fish, I refuse to chew the rest
Let us be frank, vitamin pellets are not the best
If I want to go out, the window must be open
I send a signal to my human, the command is never broken
So why should we hope, it happens all the same
Hope is for humans, for felines not part of the game

Feline RDP Friday: Hopeful Feline

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Thaw

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Tabby

Who me? Go out in the snow and ice
Not even if there were a thousand mice
My claws would freeze and possibly break
And then my whiskers begin to shake
I am not the polar cat yeti
I prefer to stay at home, I am not petty
I really do not want to be a bore
But there will come a time when the snow will thaw
And then I am ready to have a drink
melted snow in the kitchen sink
I am quite happy and will not weep
Now it is time for another sleep

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Thaw

Feline RDP Wednesday: Feline Dalate

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Tabby

“Tabby, nothing to write today?”

“No Mrs. Human. I speak meow and took the trouble to learn human, but now there are words that do not exist in meow and even you had to search in a human dictionary to see what it was all about. I prefer to play my piano. Even without opposable thumbs I can compose a tune.”

“Although it does not sound very harmonious.”

“I composed it myself and am calling it the Dalate symphony because it is out of tune.  Come on Mrs. Human, you can do better that to expect me to compose a blog about a word that no-one ever uses. Why don’t you write something.?”

“I have Tabby.”

“Big deal, but you were shaking your head all the time and started at least three times. Write about something more sensible like tuna fish, talking walls, or how to empty a recycling tray, but “dalate”. I decided to “dalate” my blog today would be a good start. Even your computer is underlining it in red.”

“The word is “dalate” and not delete.”

“Let us not discuss one single letter difference. I do not understand it, you do not understand it and no-one ever uses it.  How would it be if I gave you the subject of “meowkapurrdip”.”

“That is not a word Tabby.”

“It is in meow and is one of the most important items in the life of a feline.”

“Then explain it Tabby.”

“No way. There are words and words and some are not meant for the human ear. You do not have to know all our feline secrets.”

“OK, then I will not tell you what “dalate” means.”

“Of course you won’t, for the simple reason that you do not know.”

Feline RDP Wednesday: Feline Dalate