Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Closet

Tabby

“Tabby, look at the state of your blanket where you sleep on the chair.”

“Looks OK to me Mrs. Human. Has a very good decoration.”

“That is not a decoration that is traces of your fur and not very nice.”

“Smells good, so what is the problem?”

“The problem is that you are always sleeping on this blanket and I should brush the fur traces away. What will people think if they see it.”

Tabby

“But no-one sees it when I am laying on it. It is a very comfortable blanket to rest on, smells good and is nice and warm. And they will probably think that a home is not a home without its own personal feline.”

“No Tabby, I will have to wash it, or at least brush away the fur.”

“Wash it? But then it removes my aura, my patina, my natural scent.”

“Exactly, that is the idea.”

“Doesn’t come into the question. I will guard my personal resting place with my last fur ball scent.”

“OK Tabby, but at least let me clean it with a brush.”

“Are you insinuating that my fur is not clean. It is part of me with all its scents and mixtures. What are you doing Mrs. Human? Leave my blanket to me and stop pulling it away.”

“When you grip it with your claws and sit on it I cannot remove it. There is only one way.  I will brush the fur remains away and spray it with a scent.”

“OK, I give up.”

“Where are you going?”

“If you insist I will have to find another resting place. If you need me I will be sleeping on your bed covers. Not as comfortable as my  blanket, but they will do.”

“Tabby!”

Feline RDP Sunday: Feline Closet

Feline RDP Tracery: Feline Tracery

Tabby

Who needs tracings
When I have such wonderful teeth
I have a top row
and also many beneath
They are not for decoration
but gnashing and bite
Not only on the left
but also on the right
They are my trade mark
and enhance my great smile
It is all I, me and myself
with a very unique style
So let us munch away
and tear meat in a bit
I am a super feline
Now that you must admit
I never clean my teeth
they are always bright and shine
Each one is genuine
And they are all mine

Feline RDP Tracery: Feline Tracery

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Book

Tabby

I do not need a book,
I can look outside
There are things creeping in the garden
Very carefully eyed
Why should I read about it,
I prefer the action
Books are full of words,
outside I have satisfaction
On page one there is a worm,
followed by the slugs
Some insects fly with wings
and there are so many bugs
I can take a walk in my book
and paw amongst the grass
turning leaves for the next page
No need for magnifying glass
I never need a book mark
To find the part I saw
I see in the dark better than light
I really do not need more

Feline RDP Friday: Feline Book

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Exercise

Tabby

“Mrs. Human I am waiting.”

“Waiting for what Tabby?”

“For my human slave to open the window of course.”

“But Tabby you have your own personal cat flap and you carry a magnet on your collar which opens the cat flap if you push against it with your nose.”

“And you expect me to stoop to such inferior tasks like opening windows with my sensitive nose? I have my own personal human for such work. I have been waiting for at least a minute and you have just ignored me. What if I had been subject to an attack from an eagle or a snake in the meanwhile. I would be all over the front pages of the newspaper –  Feline killed due to human neglect.

“Tabby do not overdo it. There are no eagles and I have never seen a dangerous snake since we live here. The only problem might be Roschti, the feline next door, but you seem to agree to dislike each other, so no problem.”

“Of course it is a problem. Roschti is probably now laughing at me because my human does not open the window immediately.  That can be very embarrassing.”

“No, Tabby I am not going to open the window. Use your cat flap.”

“But I could die of exposure, of hunger, neglect.”

“You are exaggerating. And what are you going to do if I refuse to open the window and your plate of food is ready this evening.”

“They are the exceptional situations where an emergency solution is required.”

“Which is?”

“I push the cat flap with my nose and make an entrance.”

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Exercise

Feline RDP Wednesday: Abandoned Feline

Tabby

“There you are again Tabby. Every evening you sit in the same place and stare at me.”

“I am making sure that you do not forget Mrs. Human.”

“Forget what?”

“My food of course. Since the nice visit to the lovely lady at the vet, I get my special meal every evening and I am making sure that you do not abandon the idea. At last you realise that food is not only vitamin pellets but some real bites of real meat with nice juice on the side.”

“I didn’t think you liked vets.”

“Not since the vet realises my special needs are in the shape of meat that is the real thing and not dehydrated tasteless pellets..”

“That is because you are now on a special diet Tabby.”

“But I have to remind you every evening to serve it. Twice last week you forgot and began your own meal and there was I forgotten and dying of hunger.”

“Tabby you still have your pellets if you are hungry and I still have to get into the routine of serving your special dish in the evening. And dying of hunger is a little exaggerated.”

“That is why I remind you, by giving you the look.”

“Yes, Tabby, and giving me a guilt complex when I forget.”

“That is feline psychology Mrs. Human. The special stare that humans get when we feel abandoned and forgotten. After all we felines are the most important event in a human life. Where would you be without us Mrs. Human.”

“Still in the trees eating bananas?”

“Yes, of course Mrs Human. You have learned your history lesson according to the felines very well, so do not forget my special food in the evening.”

“Of course not Tabby.”

Feline RDP Wednesday: Abandoned Feline

Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Tassel

Tabby

Of course I have a tassel. It goes wherever I go and is attached to my collar. The collar is part of my dress code. No feline is properly dressed without a collar. Mrs. Human said something about if I got lost, people could open the tassel and inside there is my name, address and even my telephone number. I am not sure about that. I do not have opposable thumbs and if the telephone would ring I could not pick it up, although Mrs. Human says it is not for me but for her. She rests better knowing that I would be found and she would be informed.

Seems to be a big fuss about nothing. We felines never get lost, we know where our territory is, although it seems to be something about losing a life – no problem, I still have a few spare lives left and when they are all gone, I get the 10th life, so what’s the fuss.

Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Tassel

Feline RDP Monday: Bold Feline

Tabby

Of course I am bold
I am the bravest cat alive
I have fear of nothing
On danger I can thrive
Of course I am careful
And sharpen up my claws
I only venture outside
carefully on all paws
If I am in my territory
and there is another cat
He might hiss and want to fight
He does not want to chat
I now have a choice
Shall I pounce,
push him to the floor
I am a pacifist,
and leave through my door
There is no point of bloodshed
Because it might be mine
And so I turn away from trouble
He might begin to whine
Being bold is one thing
Being brave as well
I prefer to run away
He might start to yell

Feline RDP Monday: Bold Feline