Daily Feline Prompt: Unfurled feline

Tabby 03.07 (1)

“Please do not disturb Mrs. Human, I am unfurling.”

“You are what?”

“Unfurling. It is a feline necessity, especially in the summer months. An unfurled feline is a feline with no destiny. We must wait to be unfurled in the summer months.”

“Souds very complicated.”

“It is, a question of geometric positioning of the whiskers, together with a pawed placement of the claws to ensure that the unfurled process takes its course. Of course a big help is the feline diet. A correct unfurlement can only take place with a dish of tuna fish.”

“Why tuna fish?”

“Mrs. Human it contains the necessaary vitamins for the correct placement of the physcial unfurlment. Imagine discovering a sleeping place without being unfurled. It would be one of the greatest disappointments in a feline life.”

“Oh really, I don’t know Tabby, Humans do not unfurl.”

“You see another reason why the human creature is not as well developed as the feline. You might have opposable thumbs, but what is the point when you cannot unfurl. Try eating more tuna fish, it does wonders Mrs. Human.”

“You really think so.”

“Of course, we could perhaps indulge in a bowl together, although if you don’t mine you can empty the juice into my bowl. You do not like it so much. We felines prefer our tuna fish pure and not shaken, humans tend to mix it with strange ingredients. Perhaps that is why they do not unfurl so well as we felines.”

“Yes definitely Tabby, and now I have yet learned another valuable information in the life of a feline.”

“Indeed Mrs. Human, as the great feline writer Hans Christen Pawsen said “Just living is not enough… one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little tuna fish”.”

“Tuna Fish? I thought he said “flower”.

“Mrs. Human that was the human copy, the original was in meow.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Unfurled Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Grainy Feline

Tabby

Mrs. Human said I must be quick today, because she has to go to the hairdresser. What does that have to do with being quick? I must first of all compose my masterpiece about grainy. What does she know about walking through sandy areas and having grains of sand wedged between the claws. It needs a very special manicure. I have to examine every claw carefully and rid it of irritations and that takes time. That is why I prefer walking on earth or even nice flat ground. Some time ago Mrs. Human had her front garden refurbished with large stones and pebbles in between.

I was quite happy about the large stones as when it rained the water would collect and it was a welcome drink in between. However, she did not ask my permision to fill up the spaces with small stones. These are not so pleasant for walking purposes and were more than grainy. Do not forget, my size in proportion to these stones causes them to be something like the Rocky Mountains and we felines do not wear shoes.

“OK Mrs. Human, I can hear you, you want to go to the hairdresser” and now she is getting all iffy and impatient. I think it is better to take a nice comfortable sleep for the next few hours when she returns looking like a sphinx cat, not quite, but with shorter fur than usual.

Daily Feline Prompt: Grainy Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Willy Nilly

Tabby

Today is a willy nilly day, or as we say in meow a meowywowy day. Nothing is happening, no birds, no mice, not even a dish of tuna fish.  It is one of those days where you just have to make the most of it. At the moment I am deciding where to sleep.  I have been on this chair for at least an hour, and life is getting boring. I tried the first hour with Mrs. Human. She was also sleeping on her human bed. However she kept changing her position and I had to re-arrange my position constantly. I finally gave up and shifted to this chair.

I have now decided to see what is happening in the great outdoors. Even my wall is not talking to me. There is only one solution on a day like this, sleep and eat. I have done the sleeping part, but the eating part consists of hard vitamine pellets, not exactly the fulfilment of my feline dreams. I think I will have a wash. If in doubt have a wash, I might find something interesting in my fur, there is a small irritation in between the claws. I find all sorts of strange objects there sometimes: a reall willy nilly of movement. got it, and it was quite tasty. I wonder if there are more of them around. OK, you don’t want to know. Sleep is overcoming me again, but this time I will rest beneath a tree and hope that the sky does not fall on me.

It is just a willy nilly day today.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Willy Nilly

Daily Feline Prompt: Prickly Feline

Paws

This is my secret weapon, can you see it? it usually remains hidden somewhere in the depths until I need it. Of course it is all precision engineering to get the surprise effect. It begins with a few “getting to know you” hisses and if neither of us decide to disappear behind a cat flap, we have to go into action. I am  basically a pacifist, prefer to settle any territorial arguments by disappearing. It is the safest way, and avoids complications afterwards, such as a vet visit. Why suffer unnecessary injuries? We felines are peaceful creatures, innocence in person.

However, now and again there is a bad whisker amongst us. One of those felines that is looking for trouble. As said the best method of defence is to run away, but sometimes this cannot be avoided. It is then that my wonder claw appears. The opponent is taken by surprise. This claw is unexpected. It arrives from nowhere and the opponent either disappears immediately, or stays because he also has a secret claw in the same place. It is then that things can get complicated, and no feline wants a complicated factor in an argument. If you are lucky your human will arrive and ensure that the attacker disappears. If you are unlucky then you hope you are faster than the opponent and reach your cat entrance before he has a chance to attack.

I always avoid final show downs, they can be very unpleasant, combined with screams and flashes of anger. And now I must go, it is time to sharpen my secret claw, it should be ready at all times – you never know.

Daily Feline Prompt: Prickly Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: In a feline Jiffy

Tabby

“Tabby”

“Yes Mrs. Human”

“Come here a moment.”

“In a jiffy Mrs. Human.”

“You said that half an hour ago, and I am still waiting.”

“Half an hour? Does not exist in meow. Is that three circles before sinking into a sleep, or new sleeping place search time. It could also be the manipulation of a tin opener time with opposable thumbs.”

“You said in a jiffy.”

“Now that is another kettle of tuna fish. Would it be a paw washing jiffy, or perhaps a scratch behind the ear jiffy. There is also the wall watching jiffy, but that could take time, especially if an interesting conversation develops between the wall and me. What is the urgency, I was just taking a sleeping jiffy.”

“It is not really urgent Tabby, but….”

“In that case call me again when an urgent matter arises.”

“I actually wanted to ask you if it is not too hot laying in the sun outside.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, the sun has now shifted, and it does not look like it will fall on my head. And now can I sleep on further?”

“But you have been sleeping for more than an hour.”

“Hour? You mean a feline hour or a human hour?”

“Is there a difference?”

“Of course there is Mrs. Human. The feline measurement of time it comparable to the study of each of the steps in an operational or production procedure and the time consumed by them, for the purpose of devising methods of increasing efficiency or productivity of felines. In other words, I will have to sleep it over before reaching a decision.”

“And how long will that take?”

“Just a jiffy Mrs. Human, just a jiffy.”

Daily Feline Prompt: In a Feline Jiffy

Daily Feline Prompt: The Organised Feline

Tabby

“Tabby, stop pawing at that window, you are making marks on the glass.”

“Mrs. Human, does it occur to you that there is a reason behind my exertions of pawing constantly at the window. Perhaps I am trying to tell you someething, a lfe’s message of importance.”

“All I can see are paw marks on my nice clean windows.”

“Perhaps if you would open the window and let me out, I might stop trying to attact your attention.”

“Oh, I see, you want to go out. Why didn’t you tell me.”

“Because when I called you for your immediate attention you were not in this room, and not concentrating on my needs. Now perhaps if you would open the window I would not need to make marks on your nice clean windows. Unfortunately I do not have opposable thumbs, otherwise I would open the window myself. Perhaps you could fit a cat entrance into this window.”

“Tabby you have a cat flap already.”

“But that is on the other side of my home and I would have to walk along the corridor to reach it. It is all a matter of organisation. If you fitted an entrance on this side of my home I would not have to scratch the window to attract your attention.”

“And if you could be bothered to walk a few pawsteps to the other side of the home, you could go out without waiting for me to open the window.”

“Mrs. Human we felines do not organise, humans organise. We just give the commands. A human that does not obey commands might find herself out of work.”

“Your mean you would replace me?”

“There is always a possiblity.”

“I was thinking of taking a week’s holiday in any case, and visiting my overgrown kitten. The neighour will look after you.”

“Do what! no way, I am not waiting for a neighbour to fill up my bowl with food. I want my bowl constantly under observation. That will not work Mrs. Human.”

“But I thought you were going to sack me in any case.”

“I changed my mind.”

“Where are you going?”

“I decided a change of air would do me good, so I will make my exit through the cat flap on the other side of my home.”

“But I have now opened the window so that you can go out.”

“Leave it open, I might return by that window. It depends on how I feel about my organisation.”

Daily Feline Prompt: The Organised Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Delivery

Tabby

“Tabby what are you slurping on that plastic sheet.”

“Water of course Mrs. Human.”

“But you have nice clean water indoors in your bowl.”

“It is not the same. This water has been delivered by the sky and tastes perfect: full of the freshness of pure water.”

“It doesn’t look very pure to me, full of impurities from the garden.”

“Mrs. Human have you ever tasted the delights of natural water?”

“No, I prefer my water to come from the tap.”

“You don’t know what you a missing. The water that falls downwards really curls your whiskers, you should try it. It has a real punch. Collect some for me for later Mrs. Human.

“No, definitely not, you could get all sorts of illnesses from drinking dirty water.”

“Dirt is in the eye of the beholder and I do not see any in this wonderful refreshing water which fell from the sky. You just have to wait until it arrives and settles. Cats are a fascinating mix  but if there is one thing all felines share, it’s a love of water, no matter the colour or the ingredients, if it is water then drink it. We are the conoisseurs. Are you sure you don’t want to try some Mrs. Human?”

“No thank you.”

“But you always insist that we felines are selfish and never share, which is a fact. On the other paw I am now offering you a slurp and you refuse. Now who is being ungratful.”

“It is just a matter of taste Tabby.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Delivery