Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Collection

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Tabby

“There you are Tabby, I have been searching for you. What are you doing in the utility room?”

“This is my room, Here I keep all my private items. It is my own storage place for my collections.”

“You have collections?”

“Of course you never know when things might come in handy. I have at least 5 mice stuffed with catnip as well as three bouncy balls. I cannot find my collection of hairballs, they have disappeared.”

“Yes Tabby, I had to throw them away.”

“Throw them away: works of art created by me. They are originals, unique and you threw them away.”

“I noticed something was smelling rather unpleasantly in this room and discovered the hairballs.”

“They were not unpleasant but individual works of art.”

“That is a matter of opinion Tabby. You still have your other souvenirs.”

“But that is not the same. I made the hairballs myself and the other stuff was from the store. Every feline in the neighbourhood has a grey mouse stuffed with catnip, not to mention a collar with fishbone pictures. None of the other felines has a hairball collection.”

“That is because we humans find them unhygienic and throw them away when they begin to smell. They also attract insects.”

“But you have things growing in the garden that also attract insects.”

“That is different Tabby, insects live with the plants.”

“And my hairballs live with me.”

“Yes Tabby, but I prefer the hairballs dead and yours were becoming lively.”

“Typical human: no understanding for the feline way of life.”

Feline RDP Tuesday: Feline Collection

Feline RDP Monday: Vital Feline

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Tabby

And another day in my territory. What shall I do today? Something exciting, something completely different. I will have to think this over. I have only just finished a sleeping session, although perhaps an addtional few more hours just to be sure. No, I will explore the wilderness outside. I need my exercise and some fresh air. I see my bowl full of water. That would be a good beginning, a few refreshing drops clear the whiskers and the mind.

And now to move on to my food bowl. The same vitamin pellets, Mrs. Human could really use her imagination for something different. Perhaps she will be eating her ham this evening, always good for an alternative. Perhaps not vital to my existence, but it tastes good. And now the great decision. Shall I visit my territory? Perhaps the feline next door is also patrolling and there is the possibility of a paw swipe. We do not always see whisker to whisker on territorial rights. I think I will stay indoors. It looks so comfortable on the armchair and my nice soft blanket is calling me to relax and take it easy.

OK, decision made. You must always chose the vital aspects of life. See you in a few hours, sleep is calling.

Feline RDP Monday: Vital Feline

Feline RDP Sunday: Timely Feline

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Tabby

It’s a feeling I have in my whiskers to know what is the hour
In the early morning hours, I must wake Mrs. Human with meow
She does not react, although I sing before her door
I think she is still sleeping, and so I meow some more
Eventually she appears, to fill some water in my bowl
That is her first duty, she complains so I must exert control
And now I have to sleep to recover from exertions of the night
Everything has its time, I must plan my day so right
Time is not needed, for that I have my slave
Mrs. Human must pay attention but I taught her how to behave
Just a nod and a paw swipe shows her what to do
To clean my recycling tray is a duty that is due
Then she serves my food, perhaps a bowl of fish
I give instructions what I need and she prepares the dish
And now I am exhausted with so much organisation
But I must pay attention and keep Mrs. Human at her station
Yes the life of a feline is oh so very tiring
Training Mrs. Human is not so very aspiring
But my choice is very narrow, a matter of the time
I have to pay attention to keep it all online

Feline RDP Sunday: Timely Feline

Feline RDP Saturday: Feline River

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Tabby

The feline river is for drinking and it arrives in a bowl that Mrs. Human fills for me in the morning and evening. It is my own private river, more than a river, an ocean. When you drink the water you are drinking the flavours of its life. I savour every drop of the air it breathes and the places where it has been. The best water is the one that falls from the clouds as it captures the flavours of the earth when it is falling. I watch it arriving and I pounce when it is no longer falling to capture all the flavours it brings.

I prefer the water from the ground, as it has then settled and is not threat to falling on my head. I like it fresh and cold, but sometimes older water develops a special taste, you can compare it to human wine. It has that certain flavour that cannot be described in words. Yes, we felines are the connoisseurs of water flavours.

Feline RDP Saturday: Feline River

Feine RDP Friday: Feline Letter

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Tabby

Sending letters with meows and hisses
Are not so feline and we do no do kisses
I might spray a sign to show that I was there
It also proves my possession and for that I care
My territory has boundaries, all marked with my sign
Just to warn the other cats, that it is mine all mine
Now and again I scratch a sign and might even make a lick
And sometimes leave a message, in a feline hieroglyphic
We do not write any letters, we do not bother to read
I stare at the feline and then we fight to succeed
I can also apply telepathy  to a cat quite far away
That would be a pen pal, who does not need to stay
Yes we felines are not social, we avoid contact where we can
But lead a happy life, we have our feline plan

Feine RDP Friday: Feline Letter

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Partner

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Tabby A 07.10 (2)

It is I, me and myself, but I am not alone
I have my wall to talk to, where I’m sitting that’s my throne
I look down at everyone and everything I see
I am the best of course, it all belongs to me
This is my territory and I do not want to share
It’s mine, all mine, my own personal lair
Other felines must keep away, they have no good intentions
My protection is necessary, I use my interventions
I meow and I hiss, and then you see my claws
I know no limits, and even strike with paws
If this does not work, I search for a gap
I make my escape through my own cat flap

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Partner

Feline RDP Wednesday: Ebullient Feline

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Tabby

“Tabby sleeping again? Not ver ebullient today. ”

“Mrs. Human what else am I supposed to do: a song and a dance? Look outside. See that white stuff laying around everywhere. It is cold, it will attack my paws and they will freeze. I do not know what ebullient means, but if you can eat it, then why not.”

“It means full of life and happiness. But you must admit the snow looks very pretty.”

“Pretty does not exist in meow Mrs. Human and snow is not edible. Either it is inviting or not and the snow is not telling me to come and play. It is telling me to stay where I am on a comfortable chair. Even the birds have deserted the bird house, they have decided to stay up in the trees. As I am a feline, I decided to stay in my warm home where there is food and comfort and a human to see to my needs. And talking about that Mrs. Human, I would appreciate a nice plate of tuna fish.”

“I am sure you would Tabby, but you have a nice bowl full of vitamin pellets waiting to be eaten.”

“Oh, of course, I almost forgot. You mean those hard tasteless lumps, only fit for the production of hairballs. They bind the hairs so nicely.  I want real food, something tasty that once belonged to a living object and not the product of a machine. There is no such thing as a pellet animal, it is all so artificial.  And now leave me to sleep, at least I can dream of real food, even if I do not get any. Tell me when the snow goes away and I might take a few steps outside. I am not going anywhere in snow, the flakes fall from the sky, they could kill me.”

“Tabby no-one has ever been killed by a snow flake.”

“There is always the first time for everything. I could go into the feline history books as the first cat killed by a snowflake.”

Feline RDP Wednesday: Ebullient Feline