Daily Feline Prompt: Courageous Feline

Tabby

I am Tabby the brave,
I fight with my claws
And if it gets tough
I run with my paws
I have scalps under my bed
from throwing the dice
But not other felines,
My collection of mice
If I see a feline coming
It might be a trap
I am the fastest on whiskers
and enter my cat flap
Bravery is good,
And I am still alive
But running from danger
Ensures I survive
Nothing worse than a dead hero
I am sure you agree
I call Mrs. Human
She saves me with glee

Daily Feline Prompt: Courageus Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Rube Feline

Tabby

“Forget it Mrs. Human, I am not a Rube, I am a member of the highest developed species on this planet, as well as my own planet.”

“Oh sorry that I have insulted your intelligence. I should have known better. But I have the opposable thumbs.”

“Big deal Mrs. Human, but I have the nine lives, minus 4 that I lost on the way”  I also have a super sense of smell which humans do not have.”

“I smell enough to empty your recycling tray when necessary.”

“That is your job Mrs. Human, that is why I employ you. If you have such a good sense of smell, how is it that I still get vitamin pellets to eat.They have no smell.”

“But they do Tabby.”

“Describe it.”

“A sort of down to earth smell, strong and basic.”

“I do not do basics Mrs. Human, I am more into delicate and slightly fishy. All I can say is QED.”

“But Tabby that is the final word to a mathaematical theory.”

“Exactly “which was to be proven” and you do not have to look far to prove a human theory.”

“Which means.”

“The Rube formula. Go to the store buy it and serve it. We felines are the victims, as long there is a special offer it will do.”

“But I always make the most of special offers Tabby.”

“I noticed, the rube solution.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Rube Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Costume

Tabby

Wearing a costume? I beg your pardon, this is the genuine thing. Stop pulling my fur, it is attached to my body. Just give it a gentle stroke, but in the right direction. I am not a fluffy toy, but the genuine 100% tabby, nothing synthetic about me. Just see the fine details on my tummy, as soft as it comes. The hairs growing out of my ears? That is the proof that I am cat, not just a furry animal, but the genuine “I dare you to touch me” cat. My claws are always prepared, so don’t take liberties with me.

Whiskers? Of course I have them, all genuine 100% wired. They are my antenna to the world. Do not confuse them with the primitive insect sensory appendages, you can compare them to the icebergs. What you see is only the surface area, but what lies beneath is my computer, my bytes and my hard drive. The things that make felines meow and tick.

I do not dress up, the only external preening device is my tongue. It has a long welded connection to the fur. Always lick your fur, my mum said, it is your visiting card. No self respecting feline sleeps without having a long lick first of all. All the contaminations of the daily life, the food particles, the dust and other fluff attrected by its magnetism, must be removed and above all, never go anywhere smelling of your food, others will notice and might want a lick, or at worst a bite.

So today’s interview finished? Then I can continue with my private life, but wait, look, I can see an element of tuna fish between my claws. I just have to remove it and then I can relax. Take away your camera and microphone, to be continued tomorrow. I might take you on a hunt with me, for an action report, if I am not sleeping.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Costume

Daily Feline Prompt: Suspicious Feline

Tabby

“Tabby, Roschti’s human is at the door.”

“How nice. Perhaps you can have a discussion about how to treat your felines with the respect and honour they deserved, after once being worshipped as gods.”

“Not exactly Tabby, she said that you should stop using her garden as a recycling tray.”

“Mrs. Human it is all a matter of territorial rights. Her garden is Roschti’s garden, and the feline that deposits their recycled material in the garden shows that they are also moving in. I am sure Roschti understands this method of territorial beaviour. He deposits his personal waste in our garden as well. It is an exchange of possessional material. My garden is yours and if you do not like it then put up with it.”

“Roschti’s human does not see it from a feline point of view, and I must say I agree. Our gardens are for flowers such as roses that smell sweet.”

“And our recycled material also smells sweet. It is original, unique, and cannot be copied. A rose by any other name smells just as sweet, even if it is known as recycled material. A garden full of hairballs is perfect. Roschti and I are permanently in competition for the most original garden depony. You and Roschti’s human should be grateful that we have chosen your territory.  We could have gone anywhere. Imagine if we had chosen the oak tree along the path. Our deposits would be homeless and not appreicated. Tell Roschti’s human by accepting our material, she is doing something for the feline race.”

“No Tabby, I don’t think she sees it from that point of view, and neither do I.”

“Humans are never satisfied. Roschti “meoeowow schplat”.”

“What was that?”

“I told Roschti our efforts of improving the beauty of our territory have again been misinterpreted by the inferior human race and that we should transfer our depony to the front garden only to be used at night.”

“What difference will that make?”

“No-one will see us and we can blame it on the dog.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Suspicious Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Lecture

Tabby

I am the best, I have said it all before
The perfect feline, do you want to know more
I can jump so high, am the fastest in town
And look at my whiskers, a wonderful crown
I can see a mouse in a far away tree
If in front of my nose, I let is go free
We felines are made for high with no fear
but when it is close, we are shortsighted – too near
Kittens beware, tread carefully with your paws
A soft touch is the best, you might lose some claws
And never forget, we are the first and the best
Just stick to your territory, and do not go west
And when the day is done, you will fulfillyour wish
With a bowl of tasty food, a tuna fish dish.

And  don’t forget “Thrice the brindled cat hath mewd” referring to the Macdonalds “M” on the tabby cat forehead as  being brindled – thankyou Paws Shakespeare. Personally I only meow twice, just like the postcat.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Lecture

Daily Feline Prompt: Conjuring Feline

Tabby

“There you are Tabby. I wanted to take your photo but just as I focussed you moved and I only got a blurry photo.”

“I do not have the time to wait for you to take a photo. My nine lives are too short to sit and wait until you shoot the perfect photo.”

“All you have to do it sit still for a few minutes. Now stay where you are, although I only have half of you in the picture.”

“It depends on which half Mrs. Human. It looks OK to me, it is the front half. I am sure you will win a prize with this photo: A Study in Abstract Feline Art.”

“But you are not looking into the camera.”

“That is not important Mrs. Human. You are capturing the depth of my thoughts. And now I must go. I have other important actions to take. There is a movement in the air and I must capture it.”

“Your mean you are having one of your record breaking movements where you disappear in a flash.”

“Something like that. As the great leader Paws Teddy Roosevelt said “Great thoughts speak only to the thoughtful feline mind, but great actions speak to all felines.”

“But you do not have to speed through the home at 200 kilometers per paw.”

“Of course I do, I must recharge my whiskers for the next task to be completed.”

“Which would be Tabby?”

“Sleep of course. I am tired after all this running around.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Conjuring Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Mnemonic Whiskers

Tabby

One whisker means sleep, we have it every day
Two whiskers mean eat, vitamin pellets are here to stay
Three whiskers are saying let us have a clean
Four whiskers need brushing, before they turn to green
Five whiskers are looking good, they are giving me some charm
Six whiskers are even better but now there is an alarm
The seventh whisker is drooping, I really cannot wait
Something is out of place, is it whisker number eight
I had to scratch with my paw and now everything is fine
Number ten whisker was hiding behind whisker number nine

There are problems in the lives of a cat, that need inspection every day
But with the help of our whisker mnemonic
We clear them out of the way.

Daily Feline Prompt: Mnemonic Whiskers