Feline RDP Friday: Feline Delay

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“Tabby what are you waiting for.”

“Silly question Mrs. Human. My super organised body is sending signals that it is time to fill my bowl with food, real food and no vitamin pellets. There has been enough delay. ”

“But I was busy Tabby, dealing with the weekend shopping and preparing my evening meal.”

“What about my evening meal? You can really be quite selfish Mrs. Human. I am starving, dying of hunger and all you care about is your evening meal.”

“You look quite healthy to me Tabby. Just a few minutes and I will be with you.”

“Few minutes does not exist in meow Mrs. Human, only “at once”, “immediately” “instantly” or “in a flash”, so what about it? And do not forget to reduce the size of the meat pieces with a fork. It slips down easier, and I do not have to chew so much. Make sure there is enough juice on the meat and it should be room temperature and not from the fridge. It is a shock to my delicate system if it is cold, understood?”

“Yes Tabby, at once Tabby, but eat it all. I do not want any leftovers.”

“Mrs. Human I will eat it in my own time. Perhaps I might leave a small remainder in case I awake in the night with hunger. Just leave it in my usual place. And now to eat, before I die of hunger. Humans really only think of themselves.”

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Feline RDP Friday: Feline Delay

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Preen

Tabby

I am having a preen
put up the screen
A private moment for me
I do not want an audience
Respect my privacy
There are actions that you should not see
A little scratch here
And perhaps a bite there
It keeps fleas and ticks away
So leave me alone
To scratch on the bone
You really do not have to stay
Be careful where you tread
although I am resting on your bed
A tic might fall to the floor
Do not step on it
It could get quite messy
Leave me alone, close the door
And now I am finished
Just a quick lick
To make sure I am very clean
When we felines are nit picking
And indulge in our fur licking
We must concentrate all of the time
I need no distractions
And no over reactions
When removing all of the grime

Feline RDP Thursday: Feline Preen

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Balm

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“There you are Tabby, I was looking for you.”

“And now you have found me, so you can close the door. Or has you kitten now gone. Not only your overgrown kitten, but he also now has a kitten.”

“Yes, isn’t it sweet.”

“That is a matter of opinion Mrs. Human. That new kitten has a loud voice. I was almost deafened and he was chasing me. The only place I found refuge was in your bathroom. I had to hide behind the cupboard. It was very exhausting. The next time they come, let me know in advance, then I can plan my retreat.”

“But he really like you. He has never seen a cat before.”

“I am sure he hasn’t. Any feline would make itself scarce rather than face such an ordeal of being deafened and chased. I like to lead my own quiet life with no disturbances or unwelcome noise. I would have disappeared but even the weather was against me. There was water falling from above. And now to take a quiet rest for a few hours with no screaming human kittens.”

Feline RDP Monday: Feline Balm