Daily Feline Prompt: Baby felines

Tabby and Nera  kittens

I remember my kitten days, they were full of new experiences. There were four of us I think, but only Nera and I were left, the others found their own human slaves, but so is the life of a feline. I even remember the day I was born. I was to be the first to arrive, the litter chief, so I was waiting to go. I could even see some light at the end of the tunnel and was ready, when I was overtaken by something big, black and fluffy. Yes, that was my litter sister Nera, she wanted to be the first. I felt a paw pushing me back to the last place in the line. It was Nera first, she would meow while we were all waiting, I should have realised then that she would be in charge.

She wasn’t even my real sister, we just happened to have the same mum. Now my dad was one of the active felines, always on the run from something. Mum said his name was Charlie and he looked like me and when she was ready, well he was ready as well. However, a feline is not made for eternal love, and so mum moved on to the next in line on the rooftop, or was it in the garden, cannot remember. Anyhow there  was a big black fluffy cat. He didn’t have a name, and they called him “The Boss”. He looked at mum and she fell with all her whiskers, and so Nera was born, my half litter sister – you know we felines are not so serious about the ancestry, we like variety, at least mum did.  I am not sure about my other two long lost brother and sister, but they did not resemble us either. Some to think of it, we all looked different. Yes, mum was quite a girl in the neighbourhood, they all knew her.

But she looked after us, although I remember that Nera was always first at the milk tap. I always had to wait until everyone was finished, but mum always kept some for me. She said I was the wisest of them all. It seemed I got that from my dad, Charlie, who was also known as the “consiglieri” amongst the other felines. He was in charge of the catnip handle and even dabbled a bit in Baldrian, yes he was always on a trip somewhere.

And so I was born. Nera and I took over the same human. Nera decided to stay with me, as I could advise her on manipulation of the humans. I would sit and stare at Mrs. Human and apply my influence on her actions. Then came the day when Nera was called to the eternal corn chambers, I warned her that she had used 8.1/2 lives, but she would not listen. However, now and again she reports back and tells me that living the tenth life is fun. There are always enough mice, they re-incarnate themselves daily. She said even a river runs through it, full of tuna fish – the real thing.

In the meanwhile I am now respected in my place as the influential one. I do not meow  very much but just keep a watchful eye on Mrs. Human and control her thoughts now and again, to ensure that they are to my advantage.

Daily Feline Prompt: Baby felines

Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Slur

Roschti 22.02 (1)

“Mrs. Human, what is that apology for a feline doing on MY blog Hissss”

“Tabby, calm down, and stop spitting and scratching the leg of the table. It is not your blog, I pay for it.”

“Mrs. Human, money does not exist in meow and thus “pay” also does not exist. This blog is a example of my creativity, my eau de whiskers, the essence of my feline life. I spend hours deciding on the wisdom I can impart on my blog and you upload a photo of my biggest enemy in the area. You even took the photo while he was sitting in my territory.”

“Calm down Tabby, it is the neighbourhood feline, Roschti. You share so much together.”

“We do not share, we fight for our rights and this photo is an insult to my intelligence, a slur on my feline rights.”

“But it is such a nice photo, and Roschti was posimg for the photo.”

“And where was I when this event took place? Did you ask my permission, did you come to tell me that Roschti was sitting where I like to sit? No, of course not, I am just a small detail in this feline realm. And look at the right front paw, disgusting.”

“You were sleeping when Roschti decided to take a walk though the garden. He paused awhile and posed for the photo. What is so distrubing about the paw?”

“The paw, it is the front right paw, the paw reserved for actions showing possession. When a feline places that special paw in such a suggestive pose, it means something, it is an insult. It is a possessive paw, this is my land, my territory from the apple tree to the hedge and everything between belongs to me. I will now have to fight for my feline rights in this area.  I spent many years claiming my land and you have destroyed it with a mobile phone uploaded photo.”

“But Tabby, I am sure that Roschti meant no harm, he was just calling to say hello.”

“Felines do not call to say hello, we call to say move.”

“But whenever Roschti visits, you make a quick disappearance through the cat flap.”

“Yes, well that is just a coincidence because he always arrives when I want to take a sleep.”

“Strange coincidences Tabby. Anyhow Roschti  has now gone to his own territory. You could take possession of his territory perhaps?”

“No time Mrs. Human, I have to catch up on my sleep.”

Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Slur

Daily Feline Prompt: Rhythmic Feline

Tabby

“One, two, three, paw”

“What are you doing Tabby?”

“I am measuring the size of my territory. It’s shrinking Mrs. Human.”

“That is not possible Tabby.”

“But  there are less leaves on the bushes than last year. Someone is stealing them.”

“Tabby that is because the leaves fall from the bushes in Autumn and have not yet regrown.”

“No, Mrs. Human, You have got that wrong. The leaves are soldiers defending my territory but they are cowardly leaves. They fall from the bushes in Autumn and do not return. I try to stop them by pouncing, but it seems they escape.”

“Of course they will return Tabby, they will regrow.”

“You mean there will still be enough leaf soldiers to guard my territory this year. Perhaps I should not kill so many in Autumn when they attack.”

“They do not attack Tabby, it is natural that the leaves die in Autumn to be replaced in Spring by new leaves.”

“You mean they re-incarnate.I believe in reincarnation, and I believe I’ve lived quite a few lives, already at least four, another five to go.”

“Yes Tabby, and you have braved many battles with the leaf soldiers.”

“But they do not die, I kill them when they retreat. Perhaps I should let them live. They would then remain and there would be no need for re-inforcements.”

“That is nature Tabby, the leaves die and new leaves appear.*

“You mean all the fighting and defence organisation was for nothing in Autumn. They always return. And what about my territory?”

“What about your territory?”

“It is smaller, shrunk, bare – I have no leaf soldiers to fight for my rights.”

“Don’t worry Tabby, you have me and Mr. Human to look after you.”

“Yes that is true, perhaps you could begin your feline care programme by serving a dish of tuna fish.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Rhythmic Feline”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Hideaway

Tabby in bed

Who needs to hide
I will take a leap
Curl three times is a circle
And sink into sleep

I cannot see you
Humans ask why
But I see it all
from the corner of an eye

Feline eyes are perfect
The see in the dark
A bat flying past
He leaves his trademark

You think I am sleeping
I see every move
so do not touch my tuna fish
I will disapprove

Sometimes I hide
in a cupboard for more
then silly Mrs. Human
closes the door

I am locked in
so I make a loud  noise
“open the door”
I hiss and lose poise

The best hideaway
is on a warm bed
Under the cover
So warm for my head

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Hideaway

Daily Feline Prompt: Glittering Felines

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, do my eyes reflect light with a brilliant sparkling luster.”

“I suppose so, never really thought about it.”

“What am I here, just a feline to make the place look good? I put effort into my appearance, and you ignore me completely.”

“Stop sulking Tabby, after all you ignore me as well.”

“That is something different Mrs. Human, you are a human, an object to serve my wishes. I am feline, the ex-god, which one day will return. I have to ensure that the glitter does not leave me. Where I walk, lotus flowers spring from the ground. And I only ignore you when I do not need your services to obey my commands.”

“Yes, Tabby, of course, my day would not be complete without fulfilling your feline wishes. I have never seen those lotus flowers, it seems to be a feline thing. ”

“Another human imperfection, they are only for feline eyes. All you see is a feline that sleeps and washes, but if you really concentrate on my appearance, you will see so much more. My eyes have a wonderful glittering effect, I am so perfect, I cannot help it, I dazzle people with my beauty.”

“Well you do not dazzle me when I have to empty your recycling tray, or clean your food bowl.”

“Mrs. Human this conversation is far beyond your comprehension. Just pass me the mirror so that I can admire my glittering appearance.”

“Tabby, sorry, but the only time you glitter is when it rains and you get wet.”

“Forget it, how unromantic can one get. I am taking a sleep. You may serve my dinner in an hour, and remember, we felines also eat with the eye, so you could make an effort to arrange my food  in the bowl and not just put it in a pile, and spread some glitter around the bowl.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Glittering Felines

Daily Feline Prompt: Blurry Feline

Tabby

“Tabby, what are you waiting for?”

“You are eating, so what about me?”

“But you have a bowl full of wonderful vitamin pellets, they are so good for you.”

“Of course, Mrs. Human, but you do not eat the same thing every day.”

“No, Tabby, we like to have variety in the food we eat.”

“And so do felines. What are you eating now?”

“I am making myself and Mr. Human some ham and cheese with salad.”

“I am not equipped to digest salad, but my digestive system is definitely organised for ham. I am not sure about the cheese stuff. I know, you can give me some ham and perhaps a little cheese to try.”

“What about your vitamin pellets?”

“Forget it, I need something unhealthy, completely different.”

“OK, here is a piece of ham.”

“Where?”

“I put it down where you are sitting.”

“I cannot see it, must be a very small piece.”

“It is large enough to see, it is in front of your nose.”

“Where?”

“Tabby, you see a mouse on the other side of the field, you see birds in the trees and you can even catch a fly. Now you have ham in front of your mouth.”

“It is something like the opposable thumbs Mrs. Human. We do not have them, and our eyes can see for miles on a dark night, because we do not see dark. We adjust and everything is perfect. We do not need eye glasses.”

“So what about adjusting to seeing the ham in front of your nose.”

“Now that is complicated. That is an advanced learning curve. I have to sniff. Just a moment, yes I have found the ham.”

“You mean you are short sighted?”

“Of course I am not short sighted, I am feline sighted and I have my nose to compensate. Your ham on the floor in front of my eyes is a pink blur, but the ham in front of my nose is perfect in smell. As the wise feline Enoch Whiskers Powell said “If my ham sails from sight, it doesn’t mean the ham is not there, it simply means that the river bends towards the nose”.”

“Yes Tabby, very wise, although perhaps I should organise a visit to the vet just to be sure.”

“And you think I will voluntarily let him test my eyes – does he have a “meow” card to read.”

“No, I do not think so.”

“Then forget Mrs. Human, as long as I can find my healthy, wonderful good-for-you vitamin pellets, I will not suffer.”

“Yes, Tabby, very wise.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Blurry Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Untranslateable Meow

Tabby

Meow oo wow
Means let me come in
Meow iii wow
I am feeling very thin

Meowowowow
is longing for a dish
Meeeowwwww
says fill it with fish

Me-me-meow
I will count up to four
Meow, with a paw scratch
means open the door

It is all very easy
It is written in scratch
A human can learn it
But will be a tough match

And now for advanced
Hiss, meow and  hiss
Hurry with food
I do not want to miss

Lessons in meow
are given online
Just tune in the computer
and write on the line

You do not need a keyboard
If you sharpen your claws
Humans have fingers
But can use them as saws

If hieroglyphic
were our first written speech
It cannot be difficult
For a human to teach

Mrs. Human learned it
she was a good match
if her learning was slow
I gave her a scratch

Daily Feline Prompt: Untranslateable Meow”