Daily Feline Prompt: Catapulted feline

Tabby

“Now that was a refreshing sleep Mrs. Human, I feel like a new feline.”

“I suppose you would after sleeping all morning and lunch time.”

“Lunch time, food, and I got nothing?”

“You were sleeping Tabby.”

“Yes, I remember, I had to make choice. eat or sleep. I then noticed that “eat” was no choice as there were only hard vitamin pellets in my dish. I was sure that during my sleep that would turn into something soft and fishy.”

“Sorry to disappoint Tabby, but the pellets are still there, although they are flavoured with tuna fish.”

“No way Mrs. Human, I would rather starve. I think I will take a walk to my territory.”

“Ok, but go out through the back window.”

“But that is not my favourite territory, I would prefer to take the direct route through the front window, passing my favourite wall and walking across my new climbing frame, left by the builders, known as scaffolding.”

“That will not work Tabby, the builders are working at the moment.”

“Yes, I can see them through the window, but they are playing with fire. It is an inquisition. My ancestor, “Witchy Tabby” met his end in the fire, although it seems not really, he just crossed into his 10th life and was still turning the milk sour.

Do you think the buiders are here to collect the felines that got away?”

+No Tabby, they are working outside and melting object to make them stick to the wall.”

“But not my wall, that would be cruelty to walls. You mean they are building a barrier around my territory. They are invaders.”

“They have now gone so you can go out. It is no longer dangerous.”

“But there is a strange smell in the air, like burning objects, fur or whiskers. They are coming to get me I am sure.”

“They are not longer here, but have gone home. They have finished their work.”

“OK Mrs. Human, but if you see them driving a wooden stake into the ground, tell me. That is the next step and I still have 5 lives left.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Catapulted feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Tabby Adrift

Tabby

“Tabby, I have been searching for you everywhere, I though you had disappeared.”

“Disappeared? Life is no longer secure here. They are coming to get me.”

“What happened?”

“There I was minding my own business, talking to a wall and wondering where to take my next sleep. Wanting to solve life’s little problems. I was not doing any harm, just minding my own business and counting the lives I still have. Suddenly there was noise, and real noise. Not the brumming of a human voice, or the sweet sounds of a birdsong or mouse squeak, no it was something comletely different. I was sure my next five lives were slowly beginning to crumble. I was already thinking whether I would prefer the rainbow bridge or the eternal corn chambers. I suspect it was the new human breed known as “builders” with one of their mencing tools.”

“Now that sounds very serious Tabby.”

“It was.”

“What did you decide.”

“Don’t be offended Mrs. Human, but that rainbow bridge is not my thing. First of all I am colour blind, and secondly it would mean spending my time waiting for you to arrive. Nera and Fluffy are already in the eternal corn chambers, collecting mice for Bastet, so that would be my decision. However, I am still here as you can see.”

“Yes, I noticed you disappeared with a speed of a Formula 1 racing car.”

“Not quite, I prefer to be compared with a cheetah. So I eventually decided there is no place like home, my home and I returned as fast as I could and found a safe place.”

“On your bed?”

“Forget it, that is far too exposed. I spent the best part of the afternoon beneath the settee in the corner waiting for the noise to go away. Again I survived, and fought the evil noise with all my combined whiskers and claws. It was difficult and now I am exhausted. I must recover from the oppression of the builders. They are a worst enemy than the leaf soldiers that appear every year at the time you call Autumn.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Tabby Adrift

Daily Feline Prompt: Unmoored Feline

Tabby

I am off to experience what the world holds for me. I said goodbye to my various beds, my hairball collection and my bowls of water. I did not say goodbye to my bowl of hard vitamin pellets the “are good for you” because I never really found them good for me. They were not easy to swallow, although I must say they were ideal ingredients for a perfectly shaped hair ball.

I did not say goodbye to Mrs. Human, she would not understand it. The sun is shining and I am on my way saying goodbye to the tree where I like to lay for its shade when the sun is shining. I wave goodbye to my favourite wall where I would have so many enlightening conversations as well as my unopened tins of tuna fish.

I left a note for Mrs. Human to say not to worry. I must go on a quest to find my purpose in life. As the Dalai Feline said “Our prime purpose in this life is to help other felines. And if you can’t help them, then forget it”. Yes so are we felines, always thinking of ourselves.

So I am on my way, but just a moment. Do I really want to leave my home which has that familiar smell and feeling about it? To leave my humn slaves who have no other purpose in their insginificant human lives but to fill my food bowls and empty my recycling tray. How can I be so selfish? If I am no longer in my home Mrs. Human will have no purpose in her human life. Her one aim is to ensure that I lack nothing, that all my wishes are fulfilled and read from my whiskers. No I cannot do this, I must return to my territory. Oh, I am still in my territory, well it is a large territory. My Paws are aching, I feel exhusted. I must take a rest, but not here. I will return.

“Hello Tabby, where have you been?”

“I was leaving home Mrs. Human.”

“Oh dear, were you unhappy?”

“No, of course not, does not exist in meow. I wanted to go places and see things.”

“And did you?”

“Of course, I reached the borders of my territory.”

“And you returned?”

“I could hear the sound of the tin opener and smell the scent of tuna fish in the air.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Unmoored Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Descent of a Feline

Tabby

“Be careful Tabby.”

“Er, Mrs. Human I am feline, you know, the most perfect creatures. We were designed to achieve everything. Have you ever seen a feline that falls and is laying on its back afterwards. Have you ever had to call for an ambulance because I happened  lose a paw on the way.”

“But you have been lucky Tabby.”

“It has nothing to do with luck. If a human survives it calls it luck. We felines do not need luck, because we can do it. We are first and the best at everything. We overcome the law of gravity, it is unnecessary for felines. We only invented gravity to give the humans something to think about.”

” I thought gravity was not an invention, it just existed.”

“There you have it again. You see how much we felines are underestimated. It was Sir Isaac Paws Newton that decided to call it gravity, after a tin of tuna fish fell on his head when reaching for it in his human’s cupboard.”

“Oh, I must have misunderstood the human science laws. But Tabby you once missed a step when descending your feline ladder.”

“I did not, I did that on purpose just to show how clever I was to reach the last step with no problems. I just wanted to make it look more difficult as Roschti, the feline next door was watching. He afterwards spread the word how clever I am and my feline status increased by 10 points in the neighbourhood. I am the best, the most perfect.”

“Tabby, do not overdo it with your self praise, the higher they climb the steeper they fall.”

“That might pertain to humans, but we felines are too perfect.”

“Then be careful when you walk across the grid outside. There is a steep fall next to it.”

“That is to enhance the suspense Mrs. Human. It makes the humans go “oooh” and “aaah” when I succeed in crossing it to arrive at the other side perfectly.”

“But I notice you sometimes descend and afterwards ascend again.”

“That is only to show how versatile I am. Mrs. Human I am just too perfect.”

“Yes Tabby, I must admit. You surprise me every day with your talents.”

“Mrs. Human are you laughing.”

“Of course not Tabby.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Descent of a Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: The Notorious Feline

Tabby

The seek me here, they seek me there
But I am crafty, and I do not care
I sleep all day, with an hour to save
I need that hour to be very brave
Life is tiring and I need my rest
That hour is important to do my best
to find a place to rest my head
after 23 hours sleep, I need another bed
Sleep makes tired, and hungry too
I grab a few bites so I won’t feel so blue
I might take a walk to find a new place
to rest my weary limbs and wash my face
Oh the duties of a feline can be such a strain
My eyes are closing, I must rest my brain
My reputation is fantastic, I am so glorious
But you must beware, I am also notorious

Daily Feline Prompt: The Notorious Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline farce

Tabby

“And again I take steps into the great unknow, heedless of the dangers laying in my path. There may be stones, boulders, mountains, but I can conquer them all with my bravey and fearless determination.”

“Tabby what are you meowing about, ther is no danger, and enough space for you to move in between the rubble.”

“Shhh, Mrs. Human, they might hear you?”

“Who might hear me. There is no-one here.”

“We are being observed on every pawed blog I write.”

“I thought you pawed your blogs for them to be seen.”

“Today they told me that my stats are booming and the Cat Chronicles is getting a lot of traffic. Does that mean that I will now become famous and pehaps become feline blogger of the year.”

“Not really Tabby, it just means tht more humans are reading what you write today.”

“Perhaps I should charge to read my blogs.”

“No Tabby, I have to pay for you to blog, it does not work like that.”

“Well, that is a farce. No point in congratulating me for somehting I have to pay for.”

“That’s life Tabby, no reward without investing some energy.”

“In that case I will return after conquering the stones and rubble of my territory although I should leave a mark before I go.”

“No, Tabby, that woul not be so good.”

“Wrong, I have been there and done that, and would definitely get more booming stats tomorrow if I do it.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Farce

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Precipice

Tabby

There I am again standing on the precipice of risk. There was a day when I could leave my home and wander into my territory without a care in the feline world. Even a fight with Roschti, the feline next door, armed with claws and teeth, was a piece of cake/tuna fish in comparison. Now I have to think about it since this empty chasm exists between me and my realm and territory. There must be a devious plan afoot. There is a new tribe of humans, called builders. One day they began to dig – not with shovels, but with machines. Eventually my home was surrounded by this deep chasm.

I did not give my permission and they did not ask me. They have no respect for the felines that were once worshipped as gods. If the pharoahs in the old country had remained, humans would be taking orders from us. They would be bowing down to us and bringing tuna fish, caviar, bird fricasse and mouse chateau briand on silver dishes. Instead we must be satisfied with hard tasteless wannabe tuna fish in the shape of vitamin pellets. I am diverging.

So I am now confronted with a precipice, in life and in reality. First of all I look up, as it would be embarrissing if I was being watched by another feline. If i fell and stumbled on the precipice I would be the joke of the local feline tribe. I am alone, but I will do it with style. One paw before the other to descend the slope. Shall I climb the opposite side or take one of my delicate jumps? I decided on the jump and now I am on the other side and ready to defend my territoriy from other marauding felines. I am not alone in my battle against the evil builders. I just met Roschti. He is exhausted because he also had to conquer his own precipice. We are now felines with a cause – may the builders fall down their precipices.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Precipice