Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Invitation

Tabby

“Tabby there is a sweet little feline outside, he also has a Macdonalds “M” on his forehead and asks if you would like to go out and play with him.”

“Do what? No way, there is snow outside, and no matter how “sweet” the feline is and whether he has an “M” or a “G” for Garfield,  I have no intention of playing. Felines do not play, we fight, unless of course it is a kitten. They like to call it play, but they are only training sessions for fighiting.”

New cat

“But he is new in our area, and probably feeling lonely.”

“Mrs. Human do I look like a Dr. Paws Pestalozzi wanting to adopt stray felines. He is probably a spy, or a crook. Any feline that is out in the snow, means no good. Do you realise I was sleeping, dreaming of feline path paved with tuna fish. I was just going to pounce and you woke me to ask if I want to go out and play with a strange cat who is probably planning to take over my territory when it is bigger.”

“But I thought it would be company for you Tabby. You are often very lonely.”

“Yes exactly. There are times when I am glad I am alone and have no meowing kittens bothering me to come out to play. And now leave me to my sleep. If I am lucky I can continue my dream and discover the meaning and purposeof of tuna fish in my life. I was just approaching a fork in the path in my dream. On the right it was paved with vitamin pellets, and I had my decision to take.”

“So you will take the path of tuna fish I expect”

“I might, but the tuna fish is on a layer of snow. Sometimes it is difficult to make the right choice, even in a dream.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Invitation

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Marathon

Tabby

I am completely exhausted. It all began in the morning when I heard Mr. Swiss moving in my territory. That usually means he does human things like drinking coffee and feeding birds. I love the part with the feeding birds, but as soon as I appear they fly away – no idea why. So Mr. Swiss returns and I begin my day of hard work. My paws are tired, my whiskers are drooping. I had left my No. 1 sleeping position, the one where I curl up and bury my head in my paws and had taken some refreshement. Believe me it is hard work chewing on those vitamin pellets, but early in the morning humans are not capable of serving anyhing better.

It was time for phase 2 of my marathon day, and so I decided to make myself comfortable on Mrs. Human’s grown up kitten’s bed, as he was not there. This time I repeated the curling position but anticlockwise. My first laps of sleep are usually clockwise. A few hours later I realised that there was again movment in my household and decided to make investitgations. The remainder of the vitamin pellets in the bowl had been topped up with a new layer, full of tempting bait, so I decided to take a sample. I forced them down my throat, but due to the exhaustions of eating, I decided to partake in lap 3 of the daily marathon. This time I decided on a stretched out position in the bathroom on the nice fluffy carpet. Of course I checked first of all that my humans had already had their daily lick from the shower.

After another few hours, I was ready for something completely different. Perhaps a walk, but the dreaded enemey was still waiting for me outside. Everything was white, full of snow. I had no chance, so decided on No. 4 marathon, but this time on the nice comfortable settee with my favourite blanket. Did I hear the sound of a tin opener. I forced my eyes to open and entered the kitchen to find a bowl of yes, tuna fish. It must be that day of the week I thought.

After completing my meal, I was weary, absolutely tired out, no strength left. Marathons can be exhausting, expecially when combined with sleep. I sank into my favourite cushion at the top of the cupboard and decided to stay awhile and then I heard Mr. Human in the kitchen again – was it really already the next day, yes time flies when you are running marathons all the time.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Marathon”

Daily Feline Prompt: Exquisite Tabby

Tabby

Can you see me? This is an exquisite place to sit and watch the birds go by. They do not know I am there watching their every move. Of course I could leave my comfortable place in front of the window, but I prefer to concetrate my feline thoughts. Ok, there is too much snow outside at the moment. Mrs. Human said it is here to stay for a week. Not knowing what a week actually is, I have decided to bide my time until the snow goes away. In the meanwhile I can guard my territory from the safety of my own realm.

Yesterday evening, I decided to leave through the cat flap. I gathered my courage into my four paws and stepped outside. I heard Mr. Human say to Mrs. Human “she will not be out there very long” an so I decided to stay outside, just to show them how strong and courageous I am. After a whle I decided I had taught them a lesson, and they were probably worried that something had happened to me and waiting for my return. I waited for a while in front of the window door, but no-one came to welcome me. I was being ignored, me the most exquisite, special, charming feline in the neighbourhood. I was a no-one. They were not worried about my welfare and both humans were sitting in front of this television thing, Mrs. Human reading a book, but I was being ignored.

I deicded it was now or never, so I stooped to employment of the cat flap. It took me at least two minutes to open the flap. I have this magnet thing on my collar and I have to line it up with the frame of the cat flap in exactly the right position to open it. That is why I find the humans should really be more co-operative when I want to enter.

Eventually success, and wih a force of the nose the flap opened. I though my humans would come running to stroke me, put their arms around me, shower me with tummy tickles – but no, they were still staring into this TV thing. I decided that punishment was now called for, so I made myself comfortable in their recycling room, in front of the recyling bowl on a carpet, and decided not to move under any circumstances.

I was still being ignored, so I retired to my favourite sleeping cushion, but not without depositing a hair ball in a strategic position before I went to sleep. That did the trick, there was human voice noise, excitement, usage of paper wiping away the traces. Who cares, I slept on, I am Tabby the invincible, the exquisite feline and of course, unique.

Daily Feline Prompt: Exquisite Tabby

Daily Feline Prompt: Felines see everything

Tabby

There are things that move that I can see
Mrs. Human despairs, it cannot be
I am feline and see in the dark
Our eyes are all seeing, oh yes what a lark
There goes an ant, crawling to its nest
A beetle is eating, and taking a rest
I can see movement behind a stalk
Oh Yes, of course, a bug taking a walk
A bat flies past, looking for food
It pounces on a beetle and is in a good mood
I watch behind the window, I am the spy
It is the feline duty, that is the reason why
I am protecting my land, my profile is low
I am now safe, even from snow
I now close my eyes for a 14 hour sleep
There are things happening outside, my secrets to keep

Daily Feline Prompt: Felines see everything

Daily Feline Prompt: Capable Feline

Tabby

“No Mrs. Human, do not ask, I am not going out. It is not because of the snow which has returned, although I threatened it not to. It is because I have things to catch up on in my private life. I really do not have the time to fight against the attacking snow, I have decided to leave it to those that are more capable.”

“But the humans have now cleared the snow away on the paths.*

“I don’t care, I have resigned to the fact that the snow cannot be eliminated, but who needs snow. I will now withdraw from the stress of one of my feline lives and concentrate on my feline meditative thoughts.”

“Oh, I see, shall I spread some catnip around?”

“Are you being human funny?”

“I thought it might help to relax and assist your concentration.”

“Mrs. Human, according to the wise words of the celebrated felinetician, Benjamin Cuddles Dispawli, “I have brought myself, by long purrful meditation, to the conviction that a feline with a settled purpose to ignore the snow must accomplish it, and that nothing can resist a will which will stake even existence upon its melting point”.”

“Very wise Tabby. Have you been studying Internet and its brainy feline quotes again.”

“Of course not, they belong to my natural thirst for knowlege. And talking of thirst, I am reminded of hunger.”

“You are constantly hungry Tabby, but there is a delicious bowl of vitamine pellets, flavoured with tuna fish, awaitng your feline taste buds.”

“In that case, I will sleep for a few hours. In the meanwhile the vitamin pellets might go away and be replaced by the real thing. Is it still snowing?”

“No it has stopped and is laying on the ground.”

“Wake me when it has disappeared.”

“That might take a few days.”

“Ok, then just wake me when the delicious bowl of artificial pellets has been replaced by the real thing, with fish flesh and juice – and perhaps garnished with a pinch of tarrogon to encourage the appetite. Perhaps you could also supply a serviette to clearn the whiskers afterwards.”

“Of course Tabby, no problem – sleep well and long.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Capable Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Someday Tabby

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, look the snow is dying. I must have killed it.”

“You attacked the snow Tabby?”

Cat footprints in the snow“I did my best, the snow fought back trying to force my paws into retreat, but I was brave and continued to the cold and bitter end. Look, I even made holes in the snow, and the water dripped from its wounds. I am no longer afraid of the white peril, I forced it to submit to my feline powers.”

“Tabby, perhaps it was because it was raining and the snow began to melt. You cannot kill snow, because it does not live.”

“Of course it lives, it grows, so it must live. I forced it to surrender. I knew I would do it someday. I deserve the Order of the Bastet Empire for my brave deeds, at least a Purrhood.”

“Sounds very good Tabby, but what are you going to do if the snow returns.”

“Return? I have conquered the snow, and it is disappearing. It would not dare to return.”

“The weather forecast said we now have a wam spell with rain, but next week there will be freezing temperatures and it will begin to snow again.”

“No chance Mrs. Human, at least not in my territory.”

“Sorry to disappoint you Tabby, but when it snows it snows everywhere.

“You mean I will have to fight again to conquer the evil snow. Order two pairs of fur lined boots for my paws, I need a snow fighting uniform. You can fight on my side Mrs. Human, with a snow shovel to kill it when it falls.”

“No, Tabby, no way am I going out in the falling snow, it melts eventually.”

“That is not the snow fighting spirit Mrs. Human. I chose you as my slave as I was convinced you were a gladiator amongst humans, and you are frightenend of a little bit of snow.”

“And you Tabby, you are not frightened.”

“Me frightened of snow, never, well almost never. My first fight was a success. I did it all on my own because my cowardly human refused to support me in the fight. And I will continue. I will now inspect the progress of the fight and perhaps drink some dead snow to show how dauntless I am. It will be a warning to the snow to think twice before arriving again. As the famous feline mountainer Sir Paws Hilary said “It is not the snow we conquer, but ourselves.”

Tabby

Daily Feline Prompt: Someday Tabby

Daily Feline Prompt: Clinging Feline

Paws

Meow everyone. Life is a little boring at the moment, the snow is still surrounding me and I have no chance of breaking out, and so a few meows on the problem of clinging.

Generally I do not cling. My paws are a perfect design. They contain claws which are very useful for scratching furniture to leave a mark, showing I was there. However I noticed that humans often misunderstand the purpose of the scratch marks. We design with our claws, but humans find we ruin the furniture. Who needs furniture. A cushion is enough for me. Even then humans can become awkward. I decided to paw some exercises on Mrs. Human’s bed linen, It is ideal. I can really dig my claws into the fabric, stretch them out to their full size and pull them back again. It is all in the name of keeping fit. Mrs. Human does not agree and finds that I am ruining her sheets. Something about pulling threads and making holes. They are so fussy those humans.

Although I have one small complaint. When I am reclining on the carpet in the bathroom and stretch my paws and claws they tend to engage with the carpet layers and then I am left clinging to the carpet. I suggested she exchanges the bathroom carpets for something more paw friendly, but she ignored me, finding that bathroom carpets were not places for felines to sleep and I am in the way because I always take up the space in front of her recycling tray.

And now I must go. In the far distance I can hear the sounds of a tin opener and the whiff of tuna fish juice is alerting my nostrils. I have a food bowl to cling to.

Daily Feline Prompt: Clinging Feline