“Knots! I have not got any knots“ and Nera my big black long furred cat flashed her yellow eyes to emphasise her statement.
“Nera” I said “it is no good hissing and extending your claws preparing for a scratch, this time you are not getting away with it. It is summer, snail time and if you sit on them and even fall asleep, they curl up in your fur. That leaves knots…..”
“Enough Mrs. Human, that is no reason to start snipping around at me. What will Tabby and Fluffy say when they see me pinned down and Mr. Human chopping away at my wonderful long black sleeky fur. It is an insult to such a beautiful cat as I am.”
“What’s wrong” asked Tabby, “having one of those short back and side haircuts again Nera.”
“No-one asked for your opinion Tabby” said Nera. “Disappear, I will deal with this myself on my own.”
“Actually I was having a sleep Nera, but such a screech and meow is enough to wake even a dormouse.”
“Nera having problems again?” and Fluffy appeared on the scene.
“It’s just jealousy really, I suppose. That you two cats are not blessed with such a wonderful shiny and healthy long fur as I have.”
“Come on Nera, now that is a joke. By the time Autumn arrives, you have a zoological garden in your fur. Snails, spiders, ants, not to mention twigs, leaves and what are those things called that Mrs. Human doesn’t like, because when she treads on them they make a mess?”
“You mean tics Tabby” I said. The trouble with the tics is that when they have filled up with what they eat they drop off onto the floor and that is just downright disgusting.”
“OK, Mrs. Human, enough is enough. Tics belong to a cat.”
“Yes, but it’s funny Nera” said Fluffy “Tabby and I never have them or any of that other livestock you get in the fur.”
“Can I help it if I smell so wonderful” said Nera “it just attracts things.”
Nera there are things and things and as I was saying it is time for a snip. It doesn’t hurt and Mr. Human will be very careful. You can sit on the desk in front of the computer and have a look in Catfacebook. You have so many friends there.”
It was then that Mr. Human appeared on the scene, armed with the scissors. Before Nera could disappear, she was pinned down by the neck and her trim was made.
“So look Nera, it’s all finished. Mr. Human was quick and look at all those knots of fur we managed to cut away.+
“Super, Mrs. Human, I look like one of those GI cats now. Hissssss.”
“Now that is not true Nera, Mr. Human just cut here and there and not all over.”
“Is that why Nera has a sort of jagged fur” Mrs. Human asked Tabby.
“Shuttup Tabby, and Fluffy don’t you dare say anything. Mrs. Human I am annoyed. I have never been so insulted in all my life.”
And with a hiss and a growl she disappeared into the garden in the thickest part of the undergrowth, which I was not very happy about. Looks like we will be cutting snails out of the fur again soon.