“Nera, seems to me that Mrs. Human is going a bit too far with all this Christmas stuff. It might be that the stupid red father catmas hat suits your black fur, but we tabby cats find it clashes with our stripes.”
“Yes, I suppose the red does enhance my good looks, but she didn’t have to plaster all those Christmas decorations in front of me. Useless stuff really, you can’t eat them. They are a restriction to my graceful feline movements. Tabby, stop snickering behind your paw.”
“Nera I am afraid your graceful feline movements are no longer as graceful as they used to be. Mrs. Human says when you run you sort of bounce up and down. Even the mice run when the ground vibrates.”
“Tabby, as it is catmas, I will excuse your last remark. I just cannot stand jealous cats, especially when they come from an average Tabby.”
“Nera, be careful what you say, I have the M tattooed on my forehead and you know what they say.”
“What do they say, Tabby, M for Macdonalds I believe.”
“No, Nera, M for murder. I once saw a human film on the television with that title.”
“Oh come on girls, it is catmas and I find the catmas globes fun” said Fluffy, who was sitting below. “Mrs. Human has given us so many to play with and he took a ball in his paws and started to chase it on the floor. “See how it moves cats, that is really a good exercise.”
“Yes, Fluffy, you know what they say” remarked Nera. “Little things please little minds.”
“That’s what Mrs. Human says” answered Fluffy, “but then she always says while bigger fools watch on.”
“Are you insinuating that Nera and I are fools” added Tabby?
“Oh come on Tabby, just leave Fluffy to his games. We are only watching on in sympathy.” said Nera with an accompanying meow to emphasise her remark.
“At least I am not dressed with such a stupid hat like you two up there.”
“That is not stupid” answered Nera “it’s seasonal.”
“What sort of season.”
“Fluffy, it is the human Christmas.”
“Big deal, Nera, I am not human and don’t really celebrate Christmas.”
“Of course you do” said Tabby. “Mrs. Human always gives us each a parcel with catnip, not to mention the Christmas dinner and you never say no.”
“True Tabby, but what’s with the dinner.”
“Why a plate of tuna fish of course” answered Nera and Tabby together.
“Big deal” said Fluffy, “but we get tuna fish every week.”
“Who cares Fluffy, the main thing is that we get it.”
“So Nera, I think it is time to move. Sweep away those stupid decorations Fluffy.” said Tabby.
“Oh fun” and Fluffy started pawing Christmas globes all over the floor.
“We said get rid of them, they are in our way and a restriction to Queen Nera’s movements.”
“Not my problem” answered Fluffy.
Mrs. Human then arrived on the scene and collected the Christmas decorations. She then realised that Fluffy did not have a Santa Cat hat to wear, so she found a very special one for him.
“What’s the matter Fluffy, problems with your new hat.” and Tabby and Nera both had hysterical meows.
“You know what” said Fluffy “you two felines just don’t appreciate the Catmas spirit and you are jealous, just because my hat has a modern touch.”