“What do you think Nera?”
“Not bad Tabby, not bad at all. Mrs. Human really has some super ideas now and again. Of course she gets them from me.”
“What ideas do I get from you Nera?” I was getting very curious at this conversation. The two felines had been watching the bird house for at least thirty minutes, fully concentrated.
“Mrs. Human, the idea about feeding those poor hungry birds during the Winter. They can really do with some fat under their feathers in the cold weather to keep them nice and warm. Both Tabby and I think it really generous and considerate that you go out in the cold weather and fill the bird feeders with fresh food every day. Something I have been telling Tabby for some time, Havn’t I Tabby?” and Nera gave an intensive stare in Tabby’s direction, coupled with a jab of her paw.
“Yes, yes Nera, of course. You have been saying for some time that it looks like a small bird for each of us for Catmas dinner would be ideal. What a wonderful beginning to our Catmas festival.”
“What do I hear?? There will be no birds for Catmas dinner, tea or lunch break. I am feeding the birds that they survive the cold snowy days of Winter. Not to fatten them up for a cats five star menu for a memorable begin to your feline Christmas. Do I make myself clear?”
“OK Mrs. Human, don’t get all worked up. Tabby made a mistake She wanted to say that watching the small happy well fed birds at Christmas would be ideal, didn’t you Tabby?” and that Nera glare was again in her yellow dagger eyes.
“Hm, well Nera, yes if you say so, I suppose so. And retract your claws when you keep prodding me.”
“Well I am glad we agree on that point. Birds are to be seen but not observed as a complementary dish to your tuna fish ration. Is that now understood?”
“Yes, Mrs. Human” said the two cats together, but not taking their eyes off the movement at the bird house.
“Mrs. Human, I have one small suggestion to help our feathered dinners, sorry friends of course.” said Nera. She continued. “If we are rescuing the bird population in the garden, why not extend our charitable efforts and perhaps feed some of our other feathered friends.”
“Which feathered friends do you mean Nera?”
“I was watching a television programme about the Christmas meals in England and saw that nearly everyone has a turkey on the table. Tabby and I were thinking that perhaps we could have one or two turkeys in the garden. You could share your bird welfare feelings and perhaps care for them during the cold weather. They would then also grow nice and fat and we are sure they would appreciate your care.”
“No, Nera, does not come into the question that I start feeding turkeys in the garden.”
“But then we could share them at Catmas, one for you and Mr. Human and your two kittens and the other for Tabby, Fluffy and myself.”
“What a good idea Nera, that would take care of all our problems and the sweet little flying meals on wings we would leave alone in the garden to thrive and get bigger and fatter.” Tabby was proud of her brilliant idea.
“No, sorry felines, there will be no turkeys in the garden, we will be eating something else. Mr. Human and I no longer like to eat birds, we prefer beef at Christmas. And no, before you ask, we will not have a herd of cattle in the garden either. We buy our meat at the supermarket.”
The last I saw of the felines was their tails swishing back and forth as they walked to their sleeping places.
“You see Nera, I told you she wasn’t fattening the birds for our dinner, she feeds them out of some silly humanoid idea. Funny animals humans.”
“I know Tabby, but you have to humour them now and again. Although look at that tree outside, the birds are getting so fat here they will soon be breaking the branches.”
And the two felines went to sleep dreaming of their flying meals.