“I am doing this one Mrs. Human. I am such a modest feline and no-one really can appreciate my talents. So I will write a little about myself for a change.”
“Nera I never really put you into the shy category. You mean we have not recognised your qualities. I am so sorry. Of course, now you have the chance to show how good you are.”
“Mrs. Human, are you sure about this?” It was Nera’s sister Tabby, born in the same litter.
“”Of course Mrs. Human is sure” said Nera. “Now I have the chance to show what a genius I am.”
“For example Nera?” asked Tabby.
“I organise things here, otherwise you and Fluffy would make a complete chaos. I always taste the tuna fish first, to ensure that it is edible.”
“Yes Nera” answered Fluffy. “The problem is you eat it all and there is not enough for us all. Tabby or I have to tell Mrs. Human to serve some more. We all have our own dish, but you eat all the dishes.”
“Fluffy, it is for your own safety. I am risking my life for your benefit. What if the tuna fish is bad. Then I am the one to suffer, not you or Tabby.”
“But Nera the tuna fish is never bad. Mrs. Human always makes sure it is fresh and safe to eat.” said Tabby.
“That is a triviality Tabby. I am very generous and looking after your welfare and Fluffy’s. You should be more grateful.”
“Of ourse” Nera continued “it is a well known fact that I am the most beautiful and graceful cat in the neighbourhood. My body sways so delicately when I move, it is the real poetry in motion. Stop laughing behind your paw Tabby. This is a serious matter.”
“Sorry Nera, but I have not yet read the poem that would describe your movements.”
“If I may say so” added Fluffy “Nera reminds me more of a large ship on a rough sea, her swaying movments exist it is true, but a ship sways as well when it sails over the ocean in a storm.”
“A very good description Fluffy, as if Nera was perhaps carrying too much weight? As if she would be carrying too much cargo?”
“Yes, exactly Tabby, perhaps she should eat less?”
“Tabby, Fluffy, do you both have a death wish? Hisssss! I have the pefect feline figure. There is not a morsel of fat on my bones, it is all fluff. Genuine wonderful fur, like silk, that shines in the sunlight It can almost be blinding with such a wonderful reflection.” Nera was annoyed that her beauty and talents had not been honoured by her fellow felines.
“Admittedly you do have more fur than Fluffy or me” said Tabby “and it is true that everyone adores your wonderful long fur. It is a comfortable place and attractive for snails, ants, earwigs and even tics. It is true” continued Tabby “you are admired by many living creatures. They just seem to get attached to you.”
“Are you insinuating that my luxury fur is a home for insects.” and Nera lifted her hind leg and scratched behind her ear.
“Oh no, Nera, Tabby and I would never say that, but Mrs. Human sometimes has a problem if a tic, after having its dinner, sort of drops to the floor in our home and she might tread on it and squash it. She finds it a bit messy having blood on the white tiles.”‘
“Mrs. Human is just a sensitive homo sapiens and does not recognise the qualities of being a feline.”
“But Mrs. Human says that she does not like cutting the dried up snails out of your fur. You have to go to the vets once a year for a hair cut, and he even has to put you to sleep when he is doing it.”
“Do not get personal Fluffy. I have to put up with your rastafari dreadlocks. Not normal for a feline, and don’t come with the Selkirk Rex excuse. Just a freak of nature. Now what you see on me is 100% genuine. Jelousy can be so annoying, but I understand. It is just not every feline that has the gift of being so beautiful as myself. ”
“Are you finished with your blog Nera, can I upload it”
“Of course Mrs. Human, I think I have included the most important thing. Do you think my photo does me justice or shall I put another one in the blog.”
“Perhaps a second photo would be a good idea.”
“No problem Mrs. Human, we will choose one to honour the beauty of our chief cat Nera” said Tabby and Fluffy together, and here it is. Nera was not actually pleased with the choice, but that is another discussion.