And Then There Were Two

Two Migros cats

Yes there are two of them, captured on the camera by Mr. Swiss. Visiting the local supermarket is no big deal, but our supermarket  has something special. They do not need a watchdog to keep things under control, they have two cats.

I have written before about the supermarket cat, a proud red/ginger cat that has taken over. He strolls around as if he owns the place, makes himself comfortable on the furniture and of course, his favourite place is in the restaurant. Naturally this does not go unnoticed and he is loved by all. He is fed with samples from the plates of the guests. Not being a shy feline, he usually sits on the floor watching, melting the hearts of the customers who donate a few scraps from their plates.

I once met a lady whilst I was taking a photo and she laughed and said, there are two of them.

“Two of them, are your sure?”

“Oh yes, they are probably twins, from the same litter. They are the same colour with the same markings.”

I once made a remark at the meat counter about the supermarket cat and the assistant, who I know quite well, told me that this feline had moved in more or less and leads quite a spoilt life, although knows his place and never enters the food department. She said nothing that there were two. It seems the supermarket cat(s) actually have a real home near to the supermarket: there are many houses in the area. Sometimes I see a disappearing red tail descending the stairs to the ground floor gardening department. The felines know their way and manage quite well with the staircase.

Just before Christmas Mr. Swiss and I did our last minute shopping at the supermarket. We were finished, although I was in the flower department in front of the entrance before we left, choosing a nice orchid as they had a special offer. Mr. Swiss was waiting outside and I joined him before we made our way to the car. He was smiling and could not wait to show me the fruit of his camera efforts. We both always have a camera with us when we leave the home, you never know.

It was a success, Mr. Swiss saw both of the felines and took a quick photo before they left for territories unknown, so here they are together in the picture. The felines were taking a walk to the car park on their way home. A rare capture, I had never seen both of them together.

Daily Prompt: All Grown Up – in a feline way

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up feline (if ever)?

Tabby in the bathroom

“Mrs. Human, that’s me in the bathroom sink. I must try that out again.”

“Don’t bother Tabby, you would not fit.”

“That’s true, my legs need more room. Was I a kitten then?”

“No your kitten years were gone, you were a young cat.”

“I remember, they were my journeyman years, when I was active and ready to go.”

“Yes Tabby, and sometimes you disappeared for almost a complete day. I was worried and went on a search, but you were too busy with other things, although I never really found out what you was doing.”

“That is not a mystery Mrs. Human. You follow the scent of mouse or bird. I caught many mice in my younger years. Just sitting with your paw in a suspicious hole in the ground and wait until you feel the vibrations in your whiskers. Oh, those were the days. Many was the mouse I caught unawares. Birds were not so easy, so I compensated by a leap to a passing butterfly. They are really tasty, a gourmet meal if there ever was one.”

“But Tabby, they are so pretty and colourful.”

“Who cares Mrs, Human, and we godly felines are colour blind, so we do not share our colour appreciation with humans. Yes those were the days, young and agile.”

“And now?”

“Even we felines feel our age Mrs. Human. I let the butterflies fly and my bird catching days are now filled more with bird watching, but the thought of the chase is still in my whiskers. I remember my litter sister Nera, although she was technically a half sister, our mother did not take it so serious with the tom cats. Nera would give me advice how to catch a bird or mouse.”

“But Nera is no longer here.”

“Yes she left us for the eternal corn chambers. They wanted to send her to the rainbow bridge, but she did not want to sit around and wait until I joined her and Bastet our chief, decided her talents would be more useful keeping the corn free from vermin. Nera loves the job, she can eat all she catches, and is the boss of her section.”

“How comes you know all that?”

“Mrs. Human we are felines. Telepathy is one of our talents.”

“But Nera is no longer amongst us.”

“She might not be amongst you, but she is still giving the orders. What did you say Nera, don’t bother, humans are an inferior example of animal life, so just humour her. OK Nera, will do. Would you have a couple of mice, or perhaps a nice fat rat spare for dinner. Oh, fine, just throw it down here during the night, we don’t want the humans to notice. They get all funny when they see transparent felines walking around.”

“Tabby were you talking to Nera?”

“Of course.”

“But……”

“Forget it Mrs. Human, and now show me some kitten photos, I love looking at my baby pictures.”

Daily Prompt: All Grown Up – in a feline way

Daily Prompt: Hindsight – a good night story for my felines

Now that you’ve got some blogging experience under your belt, re-write your very first post.

“Mrs. Human I think we being insulted. We were born with blogging experience, we invented blogging in the old country when Bastet was trying out the first experiments in the corn chambers.”

“I know Tabby and Fluffy, and Nera who has returned to the eternal corn chambers, being the righthand of Bastet. Not all humans are as intelligent as felines and do not run out of ideas. Luckily I have an old blog on the computer, which is so old I forgot you wrote it. Where you again show the advanced feline gifts. Shall we repost it?”

“Yes Mrs. Human, but not rewritten. We felines do not rewrite, we are too intelligent.”

“Agreed Tabby and Fluffy (and Nera hovering in the feline stratosphere), so here we go.

Tabby, Fluffy and Nera

And the rain kept falling as it if would never end. Roswitha stood at the door being almost mesmerised by the unending threads of water. She looked down at Alpha, her cat and familiar who was also blinking through the raindrops and not looking very enthusiastic about the weather.

“Alpha, what do you think, can we do something about this rain.”

“If cats with my abilities could do something about the rain, we would have abolished it years ago, but it is forbidden for us to play with the elements. You have to make sure that no-one is looking and there is always some old wise cat that sees everything. You know like what’s-her-name in Egypt.”

“Ah, you mean Bastet.”

“Yes, that’s the one; so what about you White witches, any bright ideas?”

“No, Alpha, same here. No messing with the elements, just with the exception of fire, and keep your magic on the good side of life. Grandma said I had the gift from her and should use it properly.”

So the rain continued. Roswitha and Alpha were glad there were no old men with long white beards collecting wood and animals two by two. That had happened once and that was boring. Alpha’s ancestor was one of the chosen few on the ark, and she passed the message down through the generations that it was not fun being surrounded by water for weeks on end. She had to sit on the edge of the boat to do her business clinging with her paws on the wood to make sure she did not fall in, but that was an old story, and who knows what really happened. Those legends being handed down over the years lose a lot of reality.

“Life is so boring Alpha, I just wish I had a knight in shining armour to take me away from the monotony; just a little bit of excitement in life.”

It was then that Roswitha heard a strange noise. As if the brass section of an orchestra was approaching the door.

“So, here I am, let me in, my armour is starting to get rusty in this rain. Where shall we go?”

“I beg your pardon, just who are you?”

In front of Roswitha stood the figure of a man, quite tall and clad in metal from head to foot, with just a slit for his eyes. He had a cloth in his hand which was enclosed in a chain mail glove, and was drying the rain drops from his armour quite vigourously.

“You sent for me madam, your knight in shining armour. That is why I am polishing it all the time to make sure it keeps shining.”

“I did not send for you. ALPHA?????? Is this your idea?”

“Well you said how life was boring and you could do with a knight in shining armour, so I organised it. No problem, they had them in stock on the requirements list.”

“Alpha that was metaphorically speaking; I did not really need a knight in shining armour, just something to break the monotony, to help me against this rain.”

“Then my services are not required?” asked the knight “this is a nuisance. There I am polishing my armour, waiting for a chance to be called up for duty, and now I am not needed. You should really keep your familiar under a better control. You witches are all the same, the white ones are the worse. At least you know where you stand with the black witches. They are evil and selfish and it is clear that we are called upon for a purpose. White witches always want to be the do-gooders – just cannot decide and we are sent back and forth all the time. I will have to make a report on this when I get back to the stock room.”

He left Alpha and Roswitha still muttering on the way about his good will being taken advantage of and White Witches being ungrateful.

“So that was not a very good idea Alpha. Just think before conjuring something up in future.”

“Well I was only trying to do you a favour, and it did brighten things up on our rainy afternoon. Now what about this for the help you mentioned.”

There was a whoosh and a strong draft blew into the open door, accompanied by a cataract of water drops caught in the wind. There he was clad in blue tights covering his legs with a long armed blue pullover close fitting to his body, at the front of the pullover a large Superman emblem. To complete the picture he carried a red cape over his shoulders.

“At your service. Are you the lady in distress? How can I help you? Is this cat attacking you?”

“Cough, cough cough, first of all I need a towel to dry my hair and clothes from the rain that has just been swept into my house. ALPHAAAA enough, the last thing I need is Superman. Sorry, but I have no problems for you to help with. Perhaps you could remove my cat, but no, on second thoughts I will deal with her myself.”

“Today I can’t do anything right. Roswitha, just express yourself properly. You said you need something to help you against the rain. Was that metaphorically speaking as well?” said Alpha

“No it was not, Alpha, but I thing that Superman help is more for national catastrophes and not for a shower of rain.”

“Indeed cat and lady. It really seems that I am uncalled for in this situation. Please think before acting the next time, I was just having a coffee break with The Joker and he does not take things so easy when disturbed. Now I have a lot of explaining to do.” And with that he flew off, the rain parting like a curtain as he left.

“Sorry Roswitha, but” and Alpha was interrupted by an angry witch, even if she was one of the white sort.

“Alpha I have had enough, so here is a spell from me. You will be silent for the next hour.” And with that Alpha just sat watching the rain, her voice remaining still.

“Help, please help me” cried a voice coming nearer to Roswitha’s house. It was then that she saw the figure of a man limping and just as he reached the door he collapsed on the ground.

“Alpha, is this your doing again?” she said, but Alpha gave no answer, he had been doomed to silence.

Roswitha bent down and took a closer look. The man was breathing, his eyes open and he stretched his arms out. Roswitha did notice that he had the most beautiful brown eyes as she looked into them. But no, this was again Alpha’s doing, she was convinced. The man spoke further:

“Please help, I was driving down the road at the end of the lane and my car skidded on some mud. It crashed into a tree and I have injured my leg. I just managed to reach your house.”

“Your car skidded on the road. How unfortunate, but there is nothing I can do about it.”

“But perhaps you could have a look at my leg, call a doctor or something.”

Roswitha just did not know what to do. Should she help a complete stranger, who might have been sent by her cat, Alpha, or shut the door and ignore him. She was just about to shut the door when Alpha put his paw on the door and pushed it back. Was this a signal? Was this man genuine? Roswitha made her decision. She helped the stranger onto the settee in her living room and brewed some herbal ointment for the injury on his leg. In no time the wound was no longer so painful and the stranger could stand again on his leg.

“Thank you so much” he said. “Let me introduce myself. My name is John Carruthers and I was on my way to my estate in the next village when this unfortunate accident happened. I am forever in your debt. How lucky I was to have found your house. I must say I have never had such a pretty nurse as you are. How can I replay my debt?”

“No, no, please, it was no problem. I am glad to have been of assistance.”

“Could I perhaps call one of my servants on the telephone to organise the towing away of my car by the local garage. I can also organise someone to pick me up.”

“Of course you can” answered Roswitha, “but perhaps you would like to have something to eat before leaving. I was just preparing dinner.”

“I really don’t want to be of any more bother.”

Roswitha was sure that this charming surprise visitor would be no bother, and so it came to pass that they had dinner together, John Carruthers enjoying the company of his rescuer. Eventually he left, being picked up by one of his servants, and the car was taken to a garage. During this whole episode Alpha remained silent, but the hour had passed some time ago.

“Alpha, your hour of silence has finished. Are you not talking to me any more?”

“Of course, Roswitha, but I thought I would just let you get on with it. It seems your afternoon was quite interesting and eventful.”

“You see Alpha, I managed that all on my own. That is the way we white witches do things. We leave it to coincidence and don’t arrange surprise visitors from the local magical stock room.”

“Yes, of course Roswitha. You are the boss” was the answer from Alpha. Alpha just thought to herself how lucky we cats are to have the gift of telepathy, and thank goodness there was one of those men in distress in the stock room waiting for his chance in real life.

Daily Prompt: Hindsight – a good night story for my felines

Daily Prompt: Tight Corner – a Feline corner

Have you ever managed to paint yourself into the proverbial corner because of your words? What did you do while waiting for them “to dry”?

Fluffy having a wash

“Meow, Meow, MEOW”

“Fluffy what is the matter, do you have a problem?”

“I was just trying to attract attention Mrs. Human. There is no-one here to talk to.”

“Fluffy it is 6 o’clock in the morning. Of course there is no-one here. Tabby is still sleeping, and so was I until you began your morning revival session.”

“But I am bored Mrs. Human. I want some amusement, something to pass the time. Come and play with me.”

“No, Fluffy, I do not feel like playing so early in the morning.”

“Then let me out. I can have a conversation with the birds.”

“Since when do felines converse with birds. I thought you viewed them as a source of food.”

“We do, but it is too early to think about crunching bones. I could practice jumping up the bird house to see what they are doing. Perhaps there is a blackbird pecking around on the ground. I promise to behave Mrs. Human.”

“I thought the word behave did not exist in Meow.”

“It is according to the situation. MEOW, MEOW.”

“Fluffy that is enough, the birds have now flown away frightened by your decibels so there is no point that I let you out.”

“What is the noise. Fluffy can you meow in a modest way, that is far too loud. You woke me up and I was having such a lovely dream. I was swimming in a pool full of tuna fish. I was just about to sink my fangs into one and you frightened them all away with the noise. Mrs. Human give Fluffy some catnip to play with, to sooth his nerves and you can give me some as well so that I can continue my feline sleep.”

“You see Fluffy you even woke Tabby with your serenade. I just do not see the point of all this loud meowing so early in the morning. Go back to sleep. Fluffy, Fluffy, FLUFFY”

And there he was, curled up and sleeping on his cushion without a care in the world. Felines!!!!

Daily Prompt: Tight Corner – a feline corner

Daily Prompt: Mystery Box – feline size

You wake up one morning to find a beautifully wrapped package next to your bed. Attached to it is a note: “Open me, if you dare.” What’s inside the mystery box? Do you open it?

Tabby

“Forget it Fluffy, no way.”

“But Tabby, it looks interesting. Might be full of tuna fish, or salmon, or even caviar.”

“Fluffy you are young and a simple feline, you are not as experienced as a wise tabby feline like myself. There are things to know and one is very important, an old saying handed down from feline to feline over the year, since the days when we were worshipped as gods in the old country.”

“We were gods, where?”

“Fluffy, we are still gods, only many have forgotten. We still control the human influence, but in a subtle way to make them think they are always one step ahead.”

“True Tabby, one of the reasons why we have so many muscles in our ears. We can twitch and turn them to suit what we want to hear. But tell me about the wise saying.”

“Are you listening Fluffy, “curiosity killed the cat.”

“Ahh, and????”

“Fluffy you are really a little slow sometimes. Must have something to do with your Selkirk Rex origins.”

“Tabby I am proud of my origins. It is not every feline that has curly whiskers.”

“Yes Fluffy, they do have the appearance that you put your paw in an electric socket, if you still have them. Today is a good day, I count three curly whiskers.”

“It is all part of my genes, the Selkirk Rex inheritence.”

“Err, yes, of course.”

“You do not sound very convinced.”

“Sorry Fluffy, but your type is a fluke of nature. So now to open the box.”

“But you said something about curiosity killing something.”

“Forget it Fluffy. Since when do we cats fear what could happen. We are ruthless, brave and look our fate in the eyes. The parcel is from Mrs. Human, so it will not kill us.”

“Are you sure, you were sleeping when it appeared.”

“I do not sleep, I contemplate and Mrs. Human knows we felines love parcels.”

“But what is in the parcel, can it kill us?”

“Fluffy the parcel is empty. It is a parcel with lots of paper and a cardboard box and some scratch free ribbons.”

“You mean?”

“Yes Fluffy, my Christmas wish. I would say you can have half of the paper to tear and roll in and I will kill the rest. Afterwards you can have fun with the ribbon and I will chase you to tag along, but there is one thing you must remember. The box is mine. I want to creep into the box and sit in the box and hide from everything.”

“You mean I have no box.”

“You can have the lid, you are smaller.”

“Do I smell catnip Tabby.”

“Yes of course, Mrs. Human always puts two portions of catnip in the box.”

When I returned to the package it was completely destroyed, ripped remainders strewn over the carpet and Fluffy with the bow wrapped around her tail. Two felines were high on catnip, one sitting in the box and the other in the lid of the box. Happy Catmas felines.

Daily Prompt: Mystery Box – feline size

Daily Prompt: My Hero – in a feline way

Who’s your hero? Tell us a story about why that person plays such an important role in your life.

My felines are my heroes.

3 cats festive 1

And over the roofs they fly. Yes, this evening is Catmas Eve and my two felines have been honoured as the felines pulling Santa Cat’s sleigh, so they are not here to annoy me with their logical feline discussions which make me wonder if being a member of the human race is something superior. If you tell a feline to do something, they do not answer. They think about it and take a message, and if you are lucky they will report back with a reply, but mainly an explanation why it was a stupid question in the first place.

Yes, this afternoon a small feline dressed in a pointed hat and wearing a Christmas outfit in red, trimmed with white fur, scratched at the window. Fluffy and Tabby were immediately awake. They had been waiting for this call, this year they were among the chosen felines. Not only do they have the honour of pulling the sleigh, but at every house they visit the felines leave a dish of tuna and a bowl of fresh water to help them on their way.

It is now midnight and i expect them again soon. They told me not to bother with their food this evening.

Daily Prompt: My Hero – in a feline way

Daily Prompt: Secret Santa – from a feline point of view

You get to choose one gift — no price restrictions — for any person you want. The caveat? You have to give it anonymously. What gift would you give, and to whom?

“Did you say something Mrs. Human?” asked Tabby and Fluffy.

“I was thinking outloud.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, we like it when you think outloud, but perhaps we can assist with your problems.”

“I was thinking about your Catmas gifts, but it seems you both have everything,”

“Felines never have everything,” answered Tabby. “I need a new Pawpad. The newest is the Claw-Pawpad, with super friendly handling, suitable for paws and claws. It is scratch proof.”

“Oh yes, Mrs. Human, I want one as well, but with the raised keys especially for felines that cannot see” added Fluffy.

“Just a minute, you are felines and hunt mice and birds. Why do you need a feline friendly iPad.”

“Come on Mrs. Human, it would make life so much easier for us and you. We would be able to order our own tuna fish supplies online.” said Tabby.

“Felines do not order online, I have the feeling that you are a little spoilt. I have organised a lovely photo of Garfield with an original raised paw print for Fluffy and for Tabby a photo of Grumpy Cat,, he is the latest hero in the feline world.”

“Mrs. Human, is that a joke? Catmas is the time for giving, but you cannot eat a photo and licking it is also not so appetising. No, we want claw and paw friendly pawpads, don’t we Fluffy?”

“Yes Tabby”.

I thought that was the end of the argument until a day later a parcel arrived in the post.

“Tabby, Fluffy what is this? Two paw and claw friendly pawpads address to Tabby and Fluffy Angloswisscats. Fluffy has a special execution for blind felines and Tabby has an app for feline communication.”

“Mrs. Human, your purse was sort of laying on the table, we, with help from Nera, applied your credit card for some online purchasing.”

“Just a minute. Nera left you both earlier this year to go to the eternal corn chambers and help Bastet to organise things.”

“Yes, Mrs. Human, but Nera has moved to another world. Now and again she pays us a visit and advises us on a few human control systems. She has learnt a lot in the other world. if you look out of the window you can see her hovering and waving her paw.”

Did I see her, perhaps I did, perhaps it was just a figment of my imagination, she was always the boss. And yes, under those circumstances, I let the felines keep their new pawpads, but I now keep my credit card with the oranges. Felines do not like oranges.

Nera March 2007

Daily Prompt: Secret Santa – from a feline point of view