Daily Prompt: Secret Santa – from a feline point of view

You get to choose one gift — no price restrictions — for any person you want. The caveat? You have to give it anonymously. What gift would you give, and to whom?

“Did you say something Mrs. Human?” asked Tabby and Fluffy.

“I was thinking outloud.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, we like it when you think outloud, but perhaps we can assist with your problems.”

“I was thinking about your Catmas gifts, but it seems you both have everything,”

“Felines never have everything,” answered Tabby. “I need a new Pawpad. The newest is the Claw-Pawpad, with super friendly handling, suitable for paws and claws. It is scratch proof.”

“Oh yes, Mrs. Human, I want one as well, but with the raised keys especially for felines that cannot see” added Fluffy.

“Just a minute, you are felines and hunt mice and birds. Why do you need a feline friendly iPad.”

“Come on Mrs. Human, it would make life so much easier for us and you. We would be able to order our own tuna fish supplies online.” said Tabby.

“Felines do not order online, I have the feeling that you are a little spoilt. I have organised a lovely photo of Garfield with an original raised paw print for Fluffy and for Tabby a photo of Grumpy Cat,, he is the latest hero in the feline world.”

“Mrs. Human, is that a joke? Catmas is the time for giving, but you cannot eat a photo and licking it is also not so appetising. No, we want claw and paw friendly pawpads, don’t we Fluffy?”

“Yes Tabby”.

I thought that was the end of the argument until a day later a parcel arrived in the post.

“Tabby, Fluffy what is this? Two paw and claw friendly pawpads address to Tabby and Fluffy Angloswisscats. Fluffy has a special execution for blind felines and Tabby has an app for feline communication.”

“Mrs. Human, your purse was sort of laying on the table, we, with help from Nera, applied your credit card for some online purchasing.”

“Just a minute. Nera left you both earlier this year to go to the eternal corn chambers and help Bastet to organise things.”

“Yes, Mrs. Human, but Nera has moved to another world. Now and again she pays us a visit and advises us on a few human control systems. She has learnt a lot in the other world. if you look out of the window you can see her hovering and waving her paw.”

Did I see her, perhaps I did, perhaps it was just a figment of my imagination, she was always the boss. And yes, under those circumstances, I let the felines keep their new pawpads, but I now keep my credit card with the oranges. Felines do not like oranges.

Nera March 2007

Daily Prompt: Secret Santa – from a feline point of view

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