Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Playlist of the Week

Tell us how your week went by putting together a playlist of  five songs that represent it.

Group photo

“Felines, I said I wanted a group photo for your feline blog.”

“We heard Mrs. Human, so here we are, ready as you wishes. We even had a super lick wash.”

“But you are not together.”

“Mrs. Human, we do not do together, do we Fluffy.”

“Definitely not Tabby. Group photos do not exists in Meow Mrs. Human. They are more luck than judgement. I need my space.”

“Exactly Fluffy”

“But I had a problem getting you both on the photo.”

“Mrs. Human you will probably be showing this photo to everyone in internet. That means that Roschti, Bubu and all our other feline contacts will see the photo on their pawpads. Just imagine if Fluffy and I were together on the photo, probably with our paws wrapped around each other as you would like it, we would be the laughing stock of the feline community. No self respecting feline would take us seriously and they would definitely find it a sign of weakness, meaning that there would be constant attempts to invade our territory. No definitely not, forget it.”

“Oh, I see. But what about constructing a nice playlist of the week describing how your week went.”

“Huh, Fluffy do you think she is making a sort of human joke?”

“I hope so, or do we do play lists?”

“No, Fluffy we do not do play lists. There is something called feline tube, but I have never bothered with it. Who wants to see films of Tom and Jerry, they are old fashioned and the Garfield films still have copyright. They are too new to download.”

“You see Mrs. Human there will be no play list of the week and we do not have moods. We are all the same deep down, just a constant fight to maintain our nine lives.”

“That sounds very philosophical Fluffy, so no play list felines.”

“No Mrs. Human, did you do one?”

“No felines, it is not my thing.”

“Q.E.D.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Playlist of the Week

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Thoughts on burning

Remember this prompt, when your home was on fire and you got to save five items? That means you left a lot of stuff behind. What are the things you wish you could have taken, but had to leave behind?

Nera

“Tabby, I don’t remember that prompt, but I think “remember” doesn’t exist in meow.”

“It does Fluffy, but only for a few minutes. Gods do not need memories. I think our sister Nera, may she rest in peace with Bastet, mentioned something about our ancestors being burnt as witches helpers.”

“That must have been a human thing.”

“Yes Fluffy, it was their idea. Of course we were not witches helpers, we were in charge. Nera said they picked on the black felines first of all. As if black felines were dangerous: ridiculous!”

“Well Mrs. Human would not go too near to Nera, she said Nera did not like her.”

“Nera did not like anyone, except me.”

“And me Tabby.”

“Nera only liked herself, I was her assistant and you were her apprentice.”

“Ah yes, I remember. But she was good at giving orders and organising things.”

“I know if our place burnt down, she would have thought of everything and if something was forgotten she would have organised us to return to the house to fetch it alll.”

“But we were allowed to take five things yesterday Tabby and I think we covered everything, so what more should we rescue.”

“Well, there would be my photo of Garfield on the wall next to my feline cushion.”

“You mean you would return and fight your way through the flames for a photo.?”

“No Fluffy, you would fetch the photo. You are the apprentice.”

“But I thought my apprenticeship was learning to catch mice and birds and bringing home the rewards. No-one said anything about battling my way through flames for a crummy photo of Garfield. What about my catnip, who would rescue that. I got it from a feline dealer I met down in the sewer.”

“First of all Fluffy, the Garfield photo is not crummy, it is a treasure. There is even a Garfield paw print on the back. And tell me about that dealer, is it good stuff that catnip?”

“The best Tabby, I had to pay two tins of tuna for it, he wouldn’t take less, but it is strong stuff. One sniff and you forget everything, even if the house is burning.”

“Ok Fluffy, while you are rescuing my Garfield photo from the fire, I will rescue the catnip. Let’s shake paws on it.”

“Err, Tabby I can’t sniff a photo, so why should I rescue a photo?”

“You are the apprentice, you do what I say, you have to learn the important things in a feline life. I will rescue the catnip. By the way what did you say that feline’s name was down the sewer. Sounds like a good contact.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Thoughts on Burning

Daily Feline Prompt: Important Feline Things to Rescue

Your home is on fire. Grab five items (assume all people and animals are safe). What did you grab?

Untitled

“Did you hear Tabby, we are safe, so let’s go.”

“Does not come into the question Fluffy. I am not going anywhere without my Pawpad and you will need yours as well.”

“Oh yes, of course, but what can I do with a pawpad when our home is burning down.”

“You read it, the animals are safe, meaning Mr. and Mrs. Human are OK. As we are gods we are safe in any case. I definitely think that the Pawpad is first on the list, but you should carry Mrs. Human’s handbag in your teeth,”

“Why Tabby, Mrs. Human’s handbag is not so important. She has a lot of human rubbish in it.”

“Human rubbish, my paw. She has her purse in her bag and what is in her purse Fluffy?”

“Those jingly coins that we can push around and play with?”

“No Fluffy, use your god sense. She has her credit cards in her purse. What is the use of a pawpad without a credit card. Think Fluffy, the house is burning down, all our tuna fish tins will melt, our catnip will be a pile of ash not to think of our cat gymnastic centre. It will have to be replaced and we will need Mrs. Human’s credit card. She will only be thinking of replacing useless human stuff like furniture, washing machines and a refrigerator. We felines will be left with nothing. We will have to replace our valuables and the best way is buying online with her credit card.”

“Do you think she will agree Tabby, the last time we used the credit card on our pawpad to order the diamond studied cat flap, she was not happy and I remember when the fish tank arrived with the live tuna fish she threatened us with vitamin pellets for the rest of our life.”

“Of course she did Fluffy, but she was just playing human. Admittedly she was not happy about the diamond studied cat flap, but did you see how all the other felines in the neighbourhood were jealous?”

“But she returned the cat flap, and she put the fish in the local river. She was not happy about the money she had to pay.”

“Fluffy, do we need money?”

“No, it’s a human thing.”

“Of course it is.”

“So we have no home, but two pawpads and credit cards. We cannot eat that.”

“We still have three things to put on the list.”

“Which would be?”

“We both have more or less nine lives, minus a few on the way, so lets take another three with us, they are always useful.”

“Fine Tabby, so let’s go.”

“I am not going anywhere Fluffy, it is a hypothetical question. I think we will perhaps sleep over it.”

“Good idea.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Important Feline things to rescue

Daily Feline Prompt: Play Meowicographer

Create a new word and explain its meaning and etymology.

Fluffy

“Fluffy what are you doing behind those books?”

“Tabby I am searching for a new word in Meow. That is today’s feline daily prompt.”

“Those prompts cannot always be transferred into meow.”

“What do you mean Tabby?”

“Simple, since when do we have words like those humans. We are superior, we are gods and do not need such inferior things as words. We have sounds, mostly only detectable by the feline ear and sounds cannot be conveyed in words.”

“Are you sure Tabby? What about “Hisss” or “Grrrr””

“But you have to find a new one.”

“I know “criiiiitch””

“Great and what does that mean.”

“Perhaps it is when I eat tuna fish.”

“No, that doesn’t work. We do not make noises when we are eating.”

“We could”

“No Fluffy, you are munching and not multi tasking. What about “Eeeeee”?”

“Aw Tabby, that made my ears hurt. I know “Wuff, Wuff”.”

“Uh uh, it’s been done, the dog took it a long while ago.”

“Sounds stupid in any case, but only a subordinate canine with its obedience tick could come up with something like that.”

“I know Fluffy, “No”.”

“But that is not new, the humans are always telling us no.”

“We have to practice Fluffy, but we can do it. Think about it. It would be new in Meow, Imagine the look on those human faces when they tell us we are going to see uncle doc, the vet and we meow “No”.”

“I think I can do it, listen Tabby “Nnnnooo”.”

“Yes Fluffy sounds good. I can already hear Mrs. Human running to see what’s wrong. That is always good when she reacts.”

“What’s wrong felines?”

“Oh, nothing Mrs. Human, just practicing a new word – in Meow of course.”

Feline Daily Prompt: Play Meowicographer

Daily Feline Prompt: Embrace the Feline Ick

Think of something that truly repulses you. Hold that thought until your skin squirms. Now, write a glowing puff piece about its amazing merits.

oranges in a bowl

“Mrs. Human, take them away.”

“Problem Tabby and Fluffy?”

“Definitely. If you don’t want to clear away feline barf, then remove that bowl of oranges.”

“But I like oranges.”

“You might like them Mrs. Human, but we felines do not like oranges, do we Fluffy.”

“No, definitely not Tabby, they stink and make us want to, well barf. Yuck, meow hiss.”

“No Fluffy, stop now, not on the armchair.”

“Look Fluffy how she is running.”

“Definitely Tabby, I do not want that smelly mess on my armchair just because of a few orarnges.”

“Mrs. Human, neither Fluffy nor I like oranges. They are not a feline friendly fruit.”

“But they are healthy, you can even make a fine juice out of them.”

“Forget it, we felines are quite happy with a glass of water pure, preferably from an outside source, but if there is nothing better to offer, then tap water does it as well.”

“Or from the toilet Tabby, Do not forget, the fresh water from the toilet, tastes so fresh.”

“Felines I am not prepared to join in a discussion on the benefits of toilet water. I like oranges, Mr. Human likes oranges, they are healthy and very tasty. We do not drink toilet water, but fresh clean water from the tap. We are humans.”

“And we are felines so in future do not leave your oranges laying around in our living spaces.”

“It seems that your living spaces are everywhere in my appartment.”

“Our appartment, Mrs. Human.”

“What are you doing?”

“Fluffy and I are holding our breath as we remove the offending “ick” stuff. Keep your oranges outside, away from our sensitive feline noses.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Embrace the Feline Ick

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Meow Association – There is no home, soil or rain in this post

This is mainly because Tabby and I had to visit the vet today. It was very cunningly planned by Mr. and Mrs. Human, they bribed us by pretending that everything was normal and then …..

“We were forced to leave our home, there was no soil and it was snowing so forget the rain and Fluffy, don’t exaggerate, I smelt the goose before it was cooked.”

“You did, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were sleeping, it is your own fault.”

“I thought you were sleeping.”

“I never sleep when humans are moving, I always have one ear open. I heard Mrs. Human go to the cellar and I heard Mr. Human telling her to leave the cages in front of the door. Emphasis on cages, meaning more than one, and I knew that it was Vet time. My first action was to disappear under the bed. Mr. Human spoke a few profanities and he dragged me out. The cages appeared and before I could say “Garfield” I was looking through the bars.”

“I didn’t notice anything Tabby.”

“No Fluffy, you were sleeping, remember.”

“I only remember looking through bars suddenly.”

Fluffy ready to go to the vets

“And then we were off, moving through the streets to that well known place, the den of the vet.”

“But Tabby the nice ladies were there that give me an ear scratch and tummy tickle.”

“Fluffy it is all a trap, to lull you into a feeling of security. I saw you sitting in your cage while they put me on the operating table with thermometer poised for my private parts. Ear scratch my paw, they were attacking me and to add insult to injury they emptied a full ampule of anti worm medicine in my body. As if I have worms, What an insult.”

“They did that to me as well, but the nice ladies said I was a good boy for being quiet and still. They said I had nice teeth and then I was given a manicure. Did they give you a manicure as well Tabby?”

“No Fluffy, they did not, I make sure that my claws are short, and sharp and whet them now and again. If you did that you would not have to have a nail cutting session at the vets. That was your fault.”

“Look I am quite proud, I have some photos of the action Tabby, but there are no photos of you.”

“That is no problem Fluffy, do you really think I want to be proud of photos of my indignation being shown all over the Internet. I tell you do not place your trust in humans. They are crafty and sly, and now let me sleep to recover from the exhaustions of the day.”

Having teeth examined at the vets

Vet manicure

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Association – There us no home, soil or rain in this post

Daily Feline Post: Enough does not exist in meow

When was the last time you were ready to throw in the proverbial towel? Did you end up letting go, or decided to fight on anyway?

Tabby in the bath

“Where’s the towel Mrs. Human? I am waiting in the bath.”

“What do you need a towel for, I thought felines do not do baths and towels.”

“We don’t, but it would be fun to have a towel to play with: pulling all those threads with my claws.”

“That is not how it is meant Tabby. If we throw in the towel, we give up.”

“Mrs. Human, “Give up” does not exist in meow. We carry on. Of course it might be that the opponent is winning then we run away, especially if it is a dog. Yes, definitely if it is a dog.”

“But that is giving up.”

“No, it is not giving up, it is being clever and not wanting to lose one of your nine lives.”

“But you sometimes run away when you have a fight with Roschti, the ginger cat next door.”

“That is something different. I might have an urgent mission to accomplish indoors and have to leave when things get exciting. Or it might be that Roschti decides to give up.”

“I don’t think so, Roschti never seems to be give up and I see you running away from him and Roschti chasing you.”

“You have it all wrong, Mrs. Human. I tell Roschti that if he is fast enough, he might be able to wedge his way in the cat flap after me and there will be a portion of tuna fish for him as well.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. Although sometimes I have to get away from him as I need time to meditate and think things over.”

“Think things over?”

“Shall I fight back a feline that is double my size, with very sharp claws, and a reputation for being the King of the neighbouring territories, or shall I surrender, give up and run for my life.”

“Throwing in the towel.”

“No, making a sensible decision.”

Daily Feline Post: Enough does not exist in meow

Daily Feline Prompt: Once Upon a Feline Time

Tell us about something that happened to you in real life last week — but write it in the style of a fairy tale.

Tabby and Nera

Once upon a feline time there were four kittens, Nera, Tabby and two others who unfortunately remain nameless as they found other families where they could take over.

The feline mother was happy to realise that there would be kittens, although she knew that more mouths to feed would be a problem. Would she have enough milk taps to feed them all and how was she going to get them cat tray trained and independent? She knew there would be no help from the father of the felines, as she only met him for a few minutes and afterwards he disappeared. No problem: he had already smelt the next victim and was off. And then there was father No. 2, so of course her kittens would not be look alikes. And so it came to pass that the four baby felines arrived. Amongst them was a monster feline, known as Nera, completely black and decided she would be the first in the clan. There was also a Tabby cat, the last to arrive, but luckily she was a tough feline and there were enough milk taps to share. Mother cat decided that the first tom cat she met was the father of the big black long furred cat known as Nera, as she resembled him. He was known as Butch amongst the other felines. Tabby’s father was probably the second feline she met, a sleek sly tabby cat that promised the mother to show her his collection of tuna fish tins, but mother cat soon realised that he wanted to show her something else. So is the life of a female feline.

Time passed and mother cat realised that she could do no more for her kittens. They were quite independent, covering their recycling process nicely in the tray and now and again they would bring a mouse home. Two of the kittens left for another home and Tabby and Nera were still there.

“It is time for you to leave me” said mother feline, but we must find a good place. There is a new feline computer development called CatNip and the developers have now designed a paw friendly computer known as Pawpad. It has a navigation system, felinenet, and if you give the command “two growing kittens looking for home with full board and lodging,”, I am sure someone will apply.

The two kittens, Tabby and Nera were excited. At last they could live in their own place and do what they wanted to do and when they wanted to do it. “There is one born every minute” their mother would say, and sure enough after placing their request in felinenet they had an answer from Mr. and Mrs. Human. They told the kittens they would pick them up in their car and mother cat was glad. The kittens were leaving, she knew that the next litter was already on its way. Yes, mother feline did not take life so seriously.

The two kittens, Tabby and Nera, were pleased with their new home and quickly settled in and took over. They had been instructed by mother feline how to train humans. Look innocent, remain quiet and give them a scratch and a hiss now and again to let them know who is the boss.

Nera had no problem, she was always the king of the hill and Tabby was her assistant, sly and clever. There were some moments when the felines were not sure if they were in the right place. Especially the memorable visit to the vets, after which they lost interest in the other sort of feline. They tried to persuade the humans that a daily dish of tuna fish was what they needed, but unfortunately the humans were convinced that vitamin rich pellets was the correct food for a growing cat. They quickly managed to establish their territory in the outside world and often brought a mouth full of fur home to show who the intruder was.

Unfortunately 12 years afterwards Nera had to leave Tabby as Bastet, her main god, called her to the eternal corn chambers. Tabby remained, but in the meanwhile Fluffy had joined the family and Tabby was not so much alone. Fluffy had become Nera and Tabby’s apprentice, and they now all live happily ever after with Mr. and Mrs. Human.

Daily Feline Prompt: Once Upon a Feline Time

Daily Feline Prompt: Easy Feline Fix

Write a post about any topic you wish, but make sure it ends with “And all was right in the world.”

Fluffy

“Mrs.Human, Mrs. Human, something is missing.”

“What’s wrong Fluffy?”

“I want to mark my territory.”

“Then mark it, you never seemed to have a problem with leaving your marks everywhere in the garden.”

“Things are different. I have been using my cat tray during the cold season, as I did not want to mark my places in the garden with icicles, but my marking place has disappeared.”

“Your marking place is still there Fluffy, but not quite the same. We had the garden redesigned.”

“And you didn’t ask me?”

“Mr. Swiss and I decided it would look better without all those unsightly plants.”

“Where is the pampas grass, the big one, the one I always marked to show all the felines in the village that it was my place. I would stand poised and then it would happen and Tabby would clap her paws and congratulate me on the achievement.”

“We had the pampas grass removed. It was too big and taking up too much room and it smelt rather strongly from an undefinable scent.”

“That was my scent and now everything is gone. Years of work and investment of my marking skills removed.”

“Oh Fluffy there are lots of other plants, although it might be better if you did your markings discretly a little outside of the garden.”

“But then it is no longer my territory, but anyone’s territory. Feline reasoning does not work that way. We do not do discrete. Do you visit the neighbour when you have to apply your recycling process Mrs. Human?”

“No Fluffy, but humans have their own private places to recycle.”

“Exactly and we felines are a superior race, worshipped as gods, so where is my new outdoor recycling temple?”

“Ok, what about the ivy. There is a crop of ivy just on the edge. The snails live there during the hot summer nights, so perhaps you could do your marking on the ivy. It might even chase the snails away. It is a very nice ivy plant, bushy and with variegated leaves. Really something special for a feline godly marking place.”

“Ok, Mrs. Human, I will try it. I am not promising anything, but it does look a bit more noble than the old pampas grass.”

Fluffy was happy and all was right in the world.

Daily Feline Prompt: Easy Feline Fix

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Chat

What person whom you don’t know very well in real life — it could be a blogger whose writing you enjoy, a friend you just recently made, etc. — would you like to have over for a long chat in which they tell you their life story?

Tabby and Nera - even sisters fight sometimes

“A fireside chat? Mrs. Human you must be kidding.”

“No Tabby, I think it is a good idea. You could invite one of your feline friends that you treasure and write all about it. You could learn about their life, their problems, their interests. It would be such an interesting read for your feline prompt.”

“Of course, Mrs. Human, and we could compare whiskers and paws, including claws. The last time I had a chat with a feline, and that was my litter site Nera, may she rest in peace in the eternal corn chambers at the side of Bastet, you can see the result in the photo. You took the photo thinking how interesting, but this was serious. We were having a discussion.”

“What were you discussing Tabby?”

“That is not important, and I forgot our disagreement afterwards. We felines do not remember such trivial details.”

“That does not look so trivial.”

“For a human it is not trivial, but for us felines it is part of daily life: like when a human takes a walk.”

“I thought you could invite Roschti for a chat. You always seem to ignore each other and avoid a real meeting. I am sure it would improve the situation if you sat down together and spoke about the little feline problems you have.”

“First of all felines do not talk about problems, we have no problems because we deal with problems in a moment of action – see photo. Secondly I have absolutely no intention of sitting down with the ginger tom Roschti. He stinks, he is a he, and has no feline manners. He just takes what he wants, he intrudes on my territory and he hisses at me.”

“That’s why I thought you could clear the air if you spoke about things. Perhaps share a plate of tuna fish, or a bowl of water.”

“Mrs. Human, are you having one of your “Save the world” days. Have you joined some sort of organic human society where they believe in spreading the love. Suddenly you will appear with flowers in your hair banging a tambourine or something.”

“Oh yes Tabby, that would bring back memories of San Francisco and Woodstock.”

“I can assure you Mrs. Human that if Roschti and I sit together, it will bring back memories of a cat fight with scratches, hisses and bites. I think I will have to go and sharpen my claws if you really insist on this big paw wow.”

“And it would have made such a lovely photo for your album.”

“Mrs. Human”

“Yes Tabby.”

“Hissss”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Chat