Daily Feline Prompt: Just a Feline Dream

You’re having a feline nightmare, and have to choose between three doors. Pick one, and tell us about what you find on the other side.

ham

“No, no, leave me.”

“Fluffy are you having a meowmare.”

“Oh thank goodness Tabby, it was terrible. I was being followed by the ham monster.”

“The ham monster, that’s bad. If it was the tuna fish monster, it would have been OK, just a swallow and it would have disappeared, but the ham monster. You have to chew it and analyse it. Did you escape from its clutches?”

“Yes Tabby, it was just about to wrap itself around my ears, but I caught it and swiped it onto the floor.”

“And then?”

“I ate it of course, what would you have done?”

“Well, I might have played with it a bit, pushed it around on the floor, and of course I would have killed it eventually with my fangs.”

“It was not such a nice piece of ham, it was a bit tough in the middle.”

“You know Fluffy, I think we should have a few words with Mrs. Human. She always buys the ham at the same place and the quality it not so good as it used to be.”

“True Tabby, I have to chew it sometimes, and it should really just melt in your mouth.”

“What should melt in your mouth felines?”

“The ham you buy Mrs. Human.”

“But it was a special offer.”

“There we have it Mrs. Human. Due to you cheap special offer Fluffy had a meowmare. He nearly choked on a piece of ham, figuratively speaking.”

“Perhaps he should chew it more Tabby?”

“It stands in the book of Bastet, chapter 459 that “humans should be forbidden to buy meat on special offers due to inferior chewing qualities. Only the best should be purchased for the feline taste buds.” Did you hear that Mrs. Human, it is a Bastet command.”

“But Tabby Bastet is not my god.”

“True Mrs. Human, but do not forget when he was god, so were we, so what about changing the butcher. We would prefer American country ham.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Just a Feline Dream

6 thoughts on “Daily Feline Prompt: Just a Feline Dream

    • I did ask them if they prefer parma ham, but they said it was too salty. They have a special line in meat from spanish black footed pigs at the butchers, but I did not tell them. I suppose I should stop this on sale stuff, and fix up a pig sty and perhaps put a cow in the garden. there would still be room for a chicken coup.

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    • Hi Dusty, yes we are quite good at that, we are experts at tearing the toilet roll, although that was in our kitten days. We have torn quite a few mice in the past, but now we wait for the food to arrive in the dish, even we cats come into the years.

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      • I understand. My friend, Lily, used to hunt and kill anything that came in our yard. She was a very fierce hunter, but now she has a hard time chewing her kibble and can’t see the birds.

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  1. Pingback: Poem / Poetry – “Any Dream Will Tell You” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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