Tell us about your favourite way to get lost in a simple activity — running, hunting birds and mice, sleeping, whatever. What’s it like when you’re in “the zone”?
“That is a silly prompt and a silly question Tabby.”
“I cannot agree more Fluffy. Our zone is as far as the eye can see, although I must say that it depends upon the borders we set.”
“Tabby, Fluffy, move over, I want to remove the sun shade.”
“Mrs. Human, do not disturb. It does not come into the question. Fluffy and I want the sun shade to remain in our zone.”
“But the sun is no longer shining.”
“Does that make a difference? If Fluffy and I want the sunshade to remain it remains. And where do you think you are going with that chair?”
“I wanted to put it on the other side of the table so that I could rest my legs on it.”
“And what if Tabby and I want to sit on it. No Mrs. Human, leave everything as it is until we say otherwise.”
“Tabby, Fluffy I also want to sit outside.”
“Did she ask our permission Fluffy?”
“I don’t think so. Mrs. Human Tabby and I will have to discuss it and then we will let you know.”
“But there is enough room for all of us.”
“That is a matter of how you look at it. Basically as far as the space is concerned, it would accommodate us physically, but there is a psychological aspect to take into consideration. What do you think Tabby?”
“I will have to clarify a few details with Mrs. Human. Mrs. Human what do you actually want to do outside.”
“I was thinking about laying on the sun bed for half an hour before I cook the evening meal.”
“Half an hour? But I wanted to lay on the subbed and there is not room for both of us.”
“I was also going to prepare a fine dish of tuna fish for you both when I had rested for my 30 minutes on the subbed.”
“In that case I think we will have to re-examine the case. What do you think Fluffy?”
“There is a detail to be clarified. Mrs. Human after your sun bed thirty minutes, will you go immediately to our dishes and prepare the tuna fish.”
“I said so, of course.”
“Ok Mrs. Human on that condition you may have the sun bed for thirty minutes. Fluffy, set the alarm on the pawpad for thirty minutes to remind Mrs. Human to fix our tuna fish meal.”
Their majesties must be kept content. That is the law and all ye need to know.
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Of course, after all they own the place and we are just allowed to live here.
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Dear Tabby and Fluffy — Mindy and our human frequently have a conversation like this about the sofa. They’ve arrived at a truce. Mindy stays on her end and our human on her end. Between them is a big, gray pillow with three dog heads called Cerberus. It’s very entertaining to know that such an exchange is part of the feline world. Yours always and then some, Dusty T. Dog
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We don’t usually share things with humans, either we are there or they are there. When we are there first of all, the humans have to find somewhere else to sit. We don’t mind sharing a bed if we get some tummy tickles and a cribble on the chin, but only if we want it.
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Dear Tabby, and Fluffy, I am so disappointed with you. You both are slave drivers, and I wonder for how long Mrs. Human puts up with you, before she escapes?
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We are felines, we were worshipped as gods – they are our qualifications. Mrs. Human should feel honoured to be able to serve us, at least that is what we told her.
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Isn’t it so? My cats had me programmed, too.
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It seems to be one of their tasks to programme humans. The thing is we do not notice it and it becomes a thing of normal daily life.
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We’re not supposed to notice. I think that’s part of their law.
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