Dull (Feline) Analyst

Tabby

”Tabby what are you doing?”

“I am gathering inspiration for some scientific feline knowledge.”

“With a bowl of water and a mobile phone. That will be a dull feline analysis.”

“Mrs. Human that is not just water. It is the essence of a feline life. Are you aware of the various mixtures of minerals that are contained in just one paw of water.”

“No Tabby, but I am sure you are about to tell me.”

“Meowing all the facts is too much, even for a super intelligent feline like myself. You can read my notes afterwards on my pawphone. I am making an analysis on a daily basis.”

“But who is going to be interested Tabby?”

“Butch, Roschti, Tiddles, Django and Daisy, just to name a few members of my Analytical group. We are all testing the water by paw and exchange the facts over our pawphones. Afterwards we will meow a comparison and it will become part of our Encyclopaedia Pawtannica: guidelines for all felines. It might even be that the life of an unsuspecting kitten, fresh to the world of water tasting, will be improved. I see the future will be for the felines that will know their water qualities.”

“And what did you deduce from the current water sample.”

“It is one of the finer juices, partly rainwater, with a residue of puddle. I have also discovered that the bowl was rinsed with a small amount of vinegar before filling with water. This should be avoided at all times Mrs. Human.”

“But otherwise your bowl will have a layer of lime from the water.”

“Mrs. Human do you rinse your tea pot with vinegar every day.”

“Oh, no, that would leave an unpleasant after taste.”

“Exactly, so just let us felines be felines with our water. And now to paw some results.
Quality by smell=good
Quality by taste=good, but with a hint of acid left in the taste buds after swallowing due to impurities in the bowl (see Mrs. Human)
Quality for digestion=to be absorbed in paw sized quantities.
Quality of fresh rain= Excellent, to be slurped and gulped as fast as possible an then relax for a while to let the body absorb and savour the liquid refreshment.
And now to send my results by WMS to all my feline colleagues.”

“WMS Tabby?”

“Whisker Message Service of course.”

Feline Topic Generator

12 thoughts on “Dull (Feline) Analyst

  1. Dear Tabby, My little sister prefers ice water. Our human used to give her ice cubes in the summer when it was hot and Bear was teething. Now there’s ice in her outside water dish and she lifts it up with one paw and chews on the edge. I think she’s a strange creature and am not sure at all if she’s truly canine, perhaps some other species or even an alien. Yesterday our human took us for a hike. She thought your human would have liked it. I hope your report will be translated to dog. Yours always and forever, Dusty T. Dog

    Liked by 2 people

    • Meow Dusty
      Yes water is something to be savoured, that is true. We have a bowl in our appartment and also a bowl outside. In Winter it freezes solid, and it is to be avoided at all times. Mrs. Human removes it with fresh water, but it freezes again after an hour or so. We felines are not so keen on fresh water, it is like wine. The longer it rests and breathes, the better the aroma. Humans do not take us for hikes. We would not go in any case, but prefer doing our own thing. I had a word with Fido the apricot poodle that belongs to the human across the path, but at a distance. Fido said I could perhaps send her the message in meow and she will do her best to translate into bark.
      Have fun, your best feline friend – at a distance, Tabby

      Liked by 1 person

    • I just had a sneak peak in Tabby’s mobile and saw that she has a number registred for FunTom, but it is all in meow. There is talk about an extension to the water tasting, in connection with the various qualiies of tuna, but that is still in progress.

      Liked by 1 person

    • As long as it is water. Tabby was always our champion water drinker, although she prefers it from the paw. Her recycling process is also very regular. Fluffy preferred to mark his territorial rights in the garden.

      Like

  2. Tabby, I don’t have a feline…..I mean err…you know what I want to say, eh ?? Yea, feeling out of place. Whose number should I give you to register? sob sob….Anyway Mrs.Human is so insecure about your research and analysis, no? She kept on asking too many questions, huh !

    Liked by 1 person

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