You get to choose one superpower. Pick one of these, and explain your choice:
• the ability to speak and understand any language
• the ability to travel through time
• the ability to make any two people agree with each other
I speak fluent meow which is understood by Mrs. Human, so I need no other language. It is enough to have my food bowel filled regularly and my recycling tray emptied. It even enables a tummy tickle when I require one.
I can speak “tweet” an “chirp” which allows me to understand my feathered friends, the birds. Unfortunately they do not understand me, and I seem to frighten them away by just making an appearance. All I want to do is to study their beautiful feathers that I know whether the bird will be easy to digest. Feathers do tend to get in the way when chewing. They sometimes even cause a hairball. The last time I moved towards one of the meals on wings, it flew way and chirped to its colleagues “Beware, feline on the way”. I was insulted.
The problem with mice is that they live in the underworld and only appear at night. This is one of the reasons why I tend to lead a nocturnal life. Once a mouse is caught their end is nigh and I like to show Mrs. Human the finished product of my hunting efforts. Unfortunately she has no understanding, and generally puts it into the garbage. Once more deprived of an appetising meal.
As far as the special gift of time travel is concerned: we felines do that all the time really. One of the gifts we inherited from Bastet – do you really think we sleep so much. We travel back to the days when we had our godly status, respected and worshipped for our powers of keeping the corn chambers mouse-free. One day, when my time arrives, I will achieve my 10th life and again regain my rightful status. In the meanwhile I am doomed to a life of vitamin pellets from the supermarket. Needless to say we avoid the middle ages – who wants to be burnt at a stake, just because our human happens to be a witch.
I just do not get this thing about agreeing with each other. I have never met a feline that agrees with another feline. It does not belong to our purpose in life. There is no fun if I take a walk through the territory of the next door feline and he invites me to share his freshly caught bird or mouse, or even get high sharing his cat nip. No, we fight for out rights, a hiss and a paw swipe belong to the daily feline routine, without it we are fighting a lost cause.