How is the year shaping up for you so far? Have your predictions come true, or did you have to face a curve ball or two?
The year began as always. I used to play with curved balls when I was a kitten, but as I am now approaching the golden years I am no longer the feline clown for all. I prefer to take life seriously. I noticed that even my vitamin filled hard pellet food now arrives in a bag with the words “For Senior Cats” where it used to be marked “Kittens”. Of course I was not asked, Mrs. Human finds she can make such important feline decisions herself, my opinion does not seem to be needed. I have a feeling that should teach some lessons about basic attitudes towards felines. According to the human scale of calculation I am now older than Mrs. Human: the difference being that my hair does not turn into shades of grey and I can still hop onto the cupboard. I have never seen Mrs. Human hop onto anything.
Another memorable event this year was a visit to the vet. I marked it on my scratching pole with all five claws. I also marked it on Mr. Human’s hand when he was placing me in the cage. Yes the cage. I mean I can walk, I do not need a cage, but the humans are of the opinion that if I did not have the cage I might refuse to enter the car to take the scenic drive to the vet, which is actually correct. I was again submitted to insults on my feline person. Objects being inserted in places that objects should not be inserted and where the sun does not normally shine and exclamations of “She has put on weight” which is not exactly complimentary to a female feline. It was only 500 grammes, but we could have the impression that I was developing into some sort of feline Godzilla, although everyone seemed to be happy. Yes, Tabby is healthy. Of course I am healthy, so why visit the vet. I need no confirmation. I have tried to persuade Mrs. Human that visiting vets costs money, that usually does the trick if money is mentioned, but humans are strange. They have some sort of guilty feline if the vet does not subject us to all sorts of degrading tests to prove it.
When I think of it, it was an exciting two months so far. I will now have to have a recovery sleep to overcome the daily stress of my life. Another memorable event was when I heard a mouse in the garden cupboard. As the great Donald Trumping Cat said “Mice were never a big motivation for me, except to keep score. The real excitement is killing them”.