Turn to your humans or fellow felines — and ask them to suggest an article, an adjective, and a noun. There’s your post title! Now write
“Yes Tabby, of course I have a suggestion for the daily feline prompt. What about “The Vitamin Pellets”?”
“I think there is a misunderstanding Mrs. Human. I wanted to order you to shut the window. It is very draughty and my whiskers are sensitive to cold air.”
“Oh, I thought you wanted an idea for today’s blog.”
“I know it says “your human”, but vitamin pellets is not exactly the idea, although perhaps it might work:
“The human that invented vitamin pellets for felines probably got the idea whilst smoking a joint. I know when I roll in catmint, I often get carried away and have insane ideas. I am sure he was on a trip to never never land, imagining lots of happy cats all chewing away at pieces of indigestible neutral flavoured brown pellets and deciding it is the essence of a feline life. This is, of course, not the case: another example of human stupidity. They can be flavoured with fish, meat, even caviar, but the result is the same. A tasteless piece of indigestible matter only worthy for hairball production. Mixed with grass they are quite easy to regurgitate, they make it easier to dispose of from the body.”
“Just a minute Tabby, you cannot write that. It is not very appetising and I am sure your followers would agree.”
“That is a matter of who my followers are. There might be a few mislead humans amongst my followers who are still of the opinion that we felines are something to dress up with a bow around our neck and pet and find “What a sweet cat”, but they are the misguided and the proof that humans were descendants of the apes, and unfortunately not the felines. My feline followers are of a higher intelligence level, being once worshipped as gods.
As Cat Darwin said “Humans, whom we have made our slaves, we do not like to consider our equal” and never a truer word has been said. Yes I am sure when I submit these wise words of my blog to CatPress and Pawbook, it will be welcomed and apawded by all my feline colleagues.