Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Shape Out

Write a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.

Taps

Dear Fido, Struppi and whatever you are called

It is not that I have anything against you. I understand your feelings towards us superior gods, known as felines. We were there first and made sure we were noticed by allowing the pharaohs of the old country to be buriesd with us, in case we needed a slave when we got to the 10th life. We also made sure that Bastet, our chief god, had her statue placed in all human museums of the world, just to show we were there. Jealousy can be unpleasant at times I know.

It must be demoralising for a canine to be a subordinate species, but since we all have our pawpads we can now converse in a friendly way without descending to brutality. Of course I never chase a dog, they are bigger than me, but there is nothing more demoralising to have an animal, twice your size, making a noise to explode the ear drums, known as barking, pursuing you with its tongue hanging out. Just take a look, not exactly an advertisement for a beauty show. Do you ever se a feline with its tongue hanging out? Never, but you see we need it for other delights, such as a wash.

Another small item I would mention is burying stuff all over the place. I visit my territory for a recycling action and what happens? I dig up three bones and a few other unrecognisable objects, before I can relax  and deal with my business. If you happen to stray into my territory, then have a sniff first all with your large nose. I can smell dog immediately and I am sure that you can smell cat, so keep out, stay away and just contact me by pawmail or paw book.

You know what they say, “canines obey and felines take a message, think about it and might report back if the proposition is interesting”. That says it all.

Canines stay on your side of the fence and I will stay on mine (unless I want to take over your territory as well) and do not try to follow me through my cat flap. You might get stuck and I will not release you.

With meows and many hisses

Tabby the canine exterminator, if I am not sleeping and thinking about it, and if you are not bigger than I am.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Shape Out

10 thoughts on “Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Shape Out

  1. Huny would give you a wide berth Tabby, except if she thought you were digging up her offerings to Anubis. Why do you suppose dogs bury so many? Anubis demands, dogs obey. I wonder in the scheme of things whether Bastet and Anubis would fuss & fret as dogs and cats do? Perhaps, being Gods of their particular realms, they’re above such things..

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    • Ah I see, all very visible. Of course we felines are more into the art of telepathy and secret signals made with the whiskers. Bastet is too busy seeing to the developent of the paw friendly tin opener and keeping the etnernal corn chambers free of mice ro stoop to a conversation with Anubis. Anubis refuses to meow so there is no communication.

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  2. I hope this doesn’t show up twice, but for some reason it (WordPress) didn’t post my other comment..not that I can see.?
    Huny respectfully made the following comments after I read your post to her today: The reason behind the many and varied objects that you find in your daily trips to the loo are because Anubis requires offerings. As you say “dogs obey”…so we leave these things for Anubis. Digging them up may anger him..so I’d be wary of doing that. The humans are reading this, so I’ll end with this: If there were a battle between Anubis and Bastet, whom do you suppose would emerge victorious? Or is it more that they, being gods, have better things to consider than the petty battling they see their respective subjects engaging in?

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  3. I’m sure they could all learn to get along … eventually. With a little blood-letting, but eventually all would be healed. I talked to Bonnie about it this morning and she raised a furry eyebrow. I’m pretty sure that meant agreement. I’ll check back later.

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    • I know someone with a cat and dog and they get on wonderfully together, just like the silly stupid facebook filmy they show where the cat is licking the dog’s ear and the dog cuddles up to the cat to sleep. As soon as the cat and dog are outside it is every feline/canine for himself and my the faster win.

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  4. Dear Tabby, I’ve really missed hearing your blog postings and dictating my answers to my human, but she is wrapped up in a lot of other stuff now. When I first saw this photo on her Facebook page, I thought it was me, but it has the wrong ears. I look a lot like that dog, though. Yes, some of us do dig holes and bury things in them. My little sister Bear is notorious for that, but I don’t and never have dug a hole or carried anything to it to bury it. My sister, Mindy, only digs a hole in the garden by the house to take her morning nap. I find that a strange custom, but our human says many dogs do that. So far, I have never dug a hole. You are right; we can smell cat right away and Mindy’s favorite ordurev is cat recycling matter so my human would probably like it if you didn’t do your recycling where Mindy will take her nap. I’m a little chagrined by your title, “Canine Exterminator.” I thought we’d built a trusting — though distant — friendship. Oh well. My human warned me that you felines are devious. Yours forever and ever anyway, Dusty T. Dog

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    • Meow Dusty – long time not heard. I thought you might be on a hike somewhere. Of course we are devious, we were not burnt as witches assistants for nothing. Glad to hear something from you, it is always good to learn the canine point of view on things. The only thing I actually bury is my recycling produce. My apprentice Fluffy who is now in his 10th life would not bury things so much, he would spray the plants in the garden. Unfortunately a couple died. Now Fluffy is in his own garden in the eternal corn chambers and Bastet said he can spray as much as he likes as the plants in the corn chanbers are eternal, whatever that is. My mechanism is not equipped for spraying.

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