Daily Feline Prompt: Meow Your Feline Horn

Felines are not self-deprecating, they are so perfect. Tell us your favourite thing about yourself.

tabby

“The mirror just a little to the right Mrs. Human and tell me when to smile.”

“Is that OK, Tabby?”

“It will do, almost perfect for a human. I think you have captured my allure, my charisma, my charm. Yes it will do. Oh I am so perfect, I just do not know where to begin. Just look at me, I could stare into the mirror all day, but alas there are other more important things I must do. A feline’s day is never finished.”

“Yes, Tabby, what do you do all day?”

“I beg your pardon. Now I must have a wash and groom. Perhaps a talent scout might call for a feature in “Perfect Felines” and I want to look my best. Mrs. Human if he calls then make yourself scarce, I do not want my chance for fame to be spoilt by human presence.”

“Up to now no-one has called Tabby.”

“Oh, well they probably need time to organise things. How do my whiskers look? Do you think I should comb them through with my paw, perhaps a little at the edges that they are nice and pointed and all facing the same direction. There is nothing worse then having whiskers at the false angle. Oh, do I have bad breath Mrs. Human, tell me your honest opinion? There is nothing worse then smelling of hard vitamin pellets. Perhaps it would be a good idea to give a plate of tuna fish.”

+But Tabby, smelling of fish is not so good.”

“Of course it is. It is the feline equivalent of Chanel No. 5, although we call it Garfield No. 1. We measure our aesthetic values on a higher scale than humans. Just a moment where do you think you are going with that mirror?”

“I thought you were finished Tabby.”

“Finished, of course not. That was just a preliminary portrait, a trial. Take a few more photos and I will choose the best for the illustration in “Perfect Felines”. I think a portrait of me laying on my back would be a good idea or do you think it might be a little saucy.”

“No, Tabby, it might be feline pin-up photo of the year.”

“Mrs. Human, there is a knock at the door.  I think it might be Daryl F. Katz, and don’t forget you may let him in, but then disappear.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Meow Your Feline Horn

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