What shall I say. It is common knowledge that we are actually gods and deserve only the best treatment. The slaves in the old country respected us treated us as something special. Today it seems that humans tend to forget that the world revolves around us despite our training programme. Vitamin pellets are not the essence of a feline life when there are other delicacies such as tuna fish or salmon with just a dusting of catnip. These younger generations of humans have no idea what caring for a feline god entails. They should be happy and pleased to empty our litter trays, to clean away our hairballs. Indeed a hairball is something to be respected, to keep and treasure and show to other humans. They should be proud and tell the other human slaves what perfect hairballs I can produce.
I noticed on my pawpad that there are so many additions that can be ordered to improve my life. I sleep on a cushion, actually I have the choice of two cushions. I also sometimes occupy the bed, but only when the human does not need it. How often do I claw at the bedroom door in the early morning, demanding for it to open so that I may enter and take over a space on the bed. I am ignored, as if I was not important. I deserve more respect. I will have to take things in hand and make a list of my requirements:
Cat flap built into bedroom door
My own feline four poster bed to be placed next to the human bed
Weekly delivery of fresh tuna fish or salmon
My own cat nip to be planted in the garden
A diamond studded cat flap
Sharpening post for my claws, in ebony wood
and a recycling tray with hourly revision
I think that will do. I will report it if anything else comes to my mind.