Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Empty Complex

Tabby

“Mrs Human, empty my recycling tray now.”

“It looks empty to me Tabby.”

“I can assure you it is no longer empty.”

“I am sure you can wait, I can see nothing in your recycling tray.”

“That is because it is a natural feline instinct to cover what has arrived in the recycling tray. You also pull that chain thing after recycling. I do not have a chain, am still waiting for the prototype to be developed. In the meanwhile I only have paws to hide the evidence.”

“OK Tabby, I will empty your recycling tray, although I am sure it could wait.”

“If you remember, my first sentence ended with the word now.”

“Of course Tabby, at once, please excuse me for not heeding to your command.”

Tabby food bowl“Mrs. Human, we have another problem.”

“You have made use of your recycling tray again?”

“No, my food bowl is empty. That is a major tragedy Mrs. Human. There are only three hard vitamin pellets in my bowl.”

“I thought you did not like vitamin pellets.”

“That is not the point. Felines must have a full bowl of food, no matter what it contains. It is a psychological foundation to a feline life to have a full bowl. It gives us security, an existential belief that philosophical thinking begins and ends with the feline subject as such. Without a full food bowl, we are lost, wandering entities searching for a target in our meaningless life, be it a pellet, a leaf of catnip or a tuna fish filet garnished with tarrogon. Imagine if a passing feline would see that I have an empty bowl. I would be relegated to the bottom rang of the feline territorial hierachy, a nothing, just a mere whisker of a feline.”

“Oh I did not realise that this would be the cause of such a tragedy. I will immediately fill your bowl Tabby.”

“But not with vitamin pellets, it does not look so good if the other felines see it and your rang in the levels of good feline keeping will be reduced.”

“You mean I am assessed according to how well I look after you.”

“It will be noticed Mrs. Human. A good human slave reflects on the value of the slave keeper. If you are lazy and do not heed to my wishes the other felines will begin to talk about me, all due to your negligence of my well being.”

“I see, would you prefer tuna fish or salmon?”

“Yes, that sounds better Mrs Human. A mixture would be a good idea. In the meanwhile while I am digesting my food, you can empty my recycling tray. No good just playing with your computer, you should do something worthwhile.”

Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Empty complex

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