“Tabby you don’t look very happy.”
“Mrs. Human, I do not, never, do happy. Today is tuna fish day, so where is it?”
“Today? I thought it was tomorrow.”
“That is the problem when humans think, they are not used to thinking and often forget what they should be thinking. As our famous Katarate Paw fighter Bruce Whiskers Lee said “If you spend too much time thinking about tuna fish, you’ll never buy it” and it seems that thinking is not such a good human attibute. In other meows, actions speak louder than words.I am a deprived feline, my internal digestive tract is acccustomed to today’s bowl of tuna fish and what do I get instead?”
“Healthy vitamin pellets?”
“Healthy does not exist in meow, especially combined with the words “vitamin pellets” which has not solved the problem.”
“Err, Tabby, would it bother you if I served tuna fish tomorrow instead of today?”
“Hissss, MEOW, would it bother me? Of course not, I have complete understanding that you will neglect my well being, deprive me of my favourite food, and replace it with something hard and unpleasant.”
“Oh good, Tabby, I thought you would be annoyed.”
“Annoyed, me, of course not. I will just have to write a letter of complaint to the Society for prevention of tuna fish deprivation. And now I would suggest that you put on your shoppping clothes, take your bag and go to the supermarket before it closes for my tuna fish ration. I will give you 10 minutes, which should be sufficient. What are you waiting for – go.”
“Of course Tabby, so sorry, I will immediately organise your tuna fish. Is there anything else I could bring?”
“Perhaps a twig of parsley, just for decoration. We felines eat with the eyes you know, and the whiskers and the tongue not forgetting the sharp teeth that I will embed in your hand if you do not go now. You do realise you have broken one of the main laws of the human-feline slave treaty, or as we meow “a good human slave is only a good slave if they never forget”. Mrs. Human, you are growing old.”
Dear Tabby, I would NEVER treat my human like this! I know she does the best she can. Humans have different brains than we canines (and you felines) and some allowance should be made for them because, after all, they don’t have to give us a roof over our heads or tuna fish. My sister, Mindy, was very ill over the weekend but now she’s happy because she gets to eat tuna and rice, yoghurt and an antibiotic. I’ll admit; my sister Mindy makes no sense and I don’t even like her much. Yesterday I saw she was getting my little sister, Bear, in trouble with the human so I tried to bite her (Mindy). I still don’t know what happened, only I guess I misunderstood and my human was trying to get Bear’s attention so she could give her a cookie. My point, Tabby, is that I’m sure not even felines get everything right. Yours forever and ever, Dusty T. Dog
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Meow Dusty
There are often differences of opinion between me and Mrs. Human, if only she were a feline – on the other hand I would not have such a perfect slave. We felines just have to put a paw down now and again to keep them fit. We felines always get everything right, we are just often misunderstood. I can understand you not liking every canine, we felines hate every other feline with a few exceptions. They are the ones we generally avoid or perhaps grow up with like my litter sister Nera, may she be happy in the eternal corn chambers. If you don’t mind me saying so, if Bear is your little sister, how big is your big sister?
Have a barkingful day – Tabby
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Dear Tabby — my “big” sister is actually my older sister. It’s Mindy and she’s the smallest one of us. She only weighs 59 pounds where I weigh 80 and Bear weighs 75. My human is right: I should not pick on her, but if she threatens my little sister, what am I supposed to do? It’s a conundrum… Yours forever and always, Dusty T. Dog
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I am not quite sure of the brain functions of the canine sort, but I am sure you are doing the right thing.
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🙂
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Love these cats!
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You have to, otherwise they will be disappointed.
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Whew! There is a ‘Society’ for everything, I see.
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If there isn’t one, then Tabby just seems to invent it.
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Sheesh, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today, it seems.
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Problem being she has too many beds to get on the wrong side of.
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