Daily FelinePrompt: Forbidden for felines?

Tabby

This is the life, perfect feline eternal corn chamber weather. Just relax outside, a bowl of water for my thirst and the sound of birds in the trees. What more could a feline want?

“Tabby are you outside?”

Wait for it, here comes trouble. Human has problems and cannot find me. Thinks I have been kidnapped by a crow, there are enough of them around. I now tend to sleep outside during the night to get away from it all. You would be amazed at the things that go bump in the night outside. A hedgehog took a walk through my territory. There are slow, but I let the get on with it. No super intelligent feline like myself pounces on a hedgehog: full of fleas and spikes. I prefer a nice juicy mouse, the problem being that when I want to pounce an owl gets there first, and you do not have discussions with owls, otherwise you will be the next thing they pounce on. And to return to the crows they should be forbidden. They sit in the trees all day doing nothing special and in the early morning hours begin to crow, when I am sleeping.

“Yes Mrs. Human I am here, having a few quiet meditative moments to myself, with no external humanoid interruptions.”

“I was looking for you everywhere Tabby. Thought that something might have happened.”

What did I tell you, those humans are one bundle of nerves.

“Mrs. Human perhaps it would now be a good opportunity to shake my bedding and do some hoovering on it. It is uncomfortable with so many fur particles. I do not need my bed for an hour or so, you can place it outside in the fresh air to rejuvenate the smell. My recycling tray could also do with a thorough wash and clean up, I deposited a few samples before I went outside. I also left a hairball in my room, you can remove it and put it with my other hairballs. It was really a nice hairball, very colouful, and worth keeping. And I believe today is tuna fish day, garnished perhaps with some tarragon leaves, you know we felines also eat with the eye.”

“Of course Tabby, at once. Sorry to have disturbed your sleep outside.”

You see that is how the perfect trained human slave should be, always concerned for the well being of its master feline.

Daily Prompt: Forbidden for Felines

11 thoughts on “Daily FelinePrompt: Forbidden for felines?

  1. Dear Tabby, I would not like to sleep outside with my human so far away. That would terrify me. I sleep in the room beside hers and I wish I could sleep in her room, but she says, “No, Dusty.” My little sister might sleep outside, but I think she would feel she was on duty and keep us all awake. It seems cats are much quieter animals with no sense of duty for protecting the home territories. My human says that’s true because you felines are silent stalkers and have a different hunting strategy than we canines. I disagree; I believe for both canines and felines the strategy is simply find it, stalk it, kill it, eat it, sharing with the human where possible. Yours forever and ever, Dusty T. Dog

    Liked by 2 people

    • Meow Dusty
      We felines sleep outside when possible, to protect our territory. Mrs Human protects our territory inside but does not seem to realise that there is a territory outside to be protected. She has lights that switch on automatically when anything moves outside, even me, but the real purpose of territorial protection she does not understand. We might be quiet, but that is compensation for the extensive data processing in our brain. As far as the stragy is concerned, I would say if it moves, breathes and smells ok, kill it and eat it. I do not share and I have a strange feeling that Mrs. Human is not partial to raw mouse or bird, she prefers it cooked.
      Keep barking – Tabby T. Cat

      Liked by 2 people

    • Very wise decision. I must say I prefer it when the humans keep the bedroom door open to allow free movement. At least when Mrs. Human has a golden oldie midday sleep I can join her on the bed. She thinks it is great, does not know that I am really humouring her – it is all psychological.

      Liked by 1 person

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