This is the life, perfect feline eternal corn chamber weather. Just relax outside, a bowl of water for my thirst and the sound of birds in the trees. What more could a feline want?
“Tabby are you outside?”
Wait for it, here comes trouble. Human has problems and cannot find me. Thinks I have been kidnapped by a crow, there are enough of them around. I now tend to sleep outside during the night to get away from it all. You would be amazed at the things that go bump in the night outside. A hedgehog took a walk through my territory. There are slow, but I let the get on with it. No super intelligent feline like myself pounces on a hedgehog: full of fleas and spikes. I prefer a nice juicy mouse, the problem being that when I want to pounce an owl gets there first, and you do not have discussions with owls, otherwise you will be the next thing they pounce on. And to return to the crows they should be forbidden. They sit in the trees all day doing nothing special and in the early morning hours begin to crow, when I am sleeping.
“Yes Mrs. Human I am here, having a few quiet meditative moments to myself, with no external humanoid interruptions.”
“I was looking for you everywhere Tabby. Thought that something might have happened.”
What did I tell you, those humans are one bundle of nerves.
“Mrs. Human perhaps it would now be a good opportunity to shake my bedding and do some hoovering on it. It is uncomfortable with so many fur particles. I do not need my bed for an hour or so, you can place it outside in the fresh air to rejuvenate the smell. My recycling tray could also do with a thorough wash and clean up, I deposited a few samples before I went outside. I also left a hairball in my room, you can remove it and put it with my other hairballs. It was really a nice hairball, very colouful, and worth keeping. And I believe today is tuna fish day, garnished perhaps with some tarragon leaves, you know we felines also eat with the eye.”
“Of course Tabby, at once. Sorry to have disturbed your sleep outside.”
You see that is how the perfect trained human slave should be, always concerned for the well being of its master feline.