“Tabby, what do you have to say about glass?”
Here she is again, asking stupid questions.
“Mrs. Human, I have nothing to say about glass. I cannot eat it or play with with it. It is an obstruction to my movements. Why?”
“Just a question for an inspirational feline prompt.”
“Glass does not inspire, unless of course it us filled with nice cool fresh water.”
“Is that all you have to meow Tabby?”
“Yes, I am not in the mood for a detailed lecture on the advantages of glass and its qualities. Although you can really leave nice clear paw marks on glass, the problem being that they are quickly removed by the human touch. ”
“Of course Tabby, I do not like paw marks on my nice clean windows.”
“Not my prolem Mrs. Human and now I would like to continue to sleep whilst you solve your glass problems. Just perhaps one remark. My cat flap glass has some stains beause you do not clean it very well.”
” I clean it at least once a month.”
“Once a month is not enough. At least once a day I like to see where I am going before I go there. There might be all sorts of dangerous creatures wating for me outside. I do not want to walk into the jaws of a whisker demon.”
“A whisker demon – what do they look like?”
“Don’t ask Mrs. Human. you really do not want to know. Just clean my cat flap window, now.”
“Yes Tabby of course.”
That is how to train your human, short and sharp to the point, and now for a few hours sleep, I am exhausted after that convesation.