“Tabby, where have your youthful days gone, when you would spring around, chase after insects in flight and jump to catch a fly or butterfly. All you do now is sleep almost all day.”
“Things are not what they used to be Mrs. Human. Even I feel my age in my whiskers. I leave such exploits to the kittens. There is a time in the ninth life of a feline when you conserve your energy for more important tasks.”
“And what do you consider more important Tabby?”
“Oh there are many on my whisker list.”
“You have a whisker list?”
“Yes, humans have a bucket list, we have a whisker list.
Take a ride on the back of a dog
Meet Garfield in person
Play the leading role as the heroine in a feline movie, something like “Gone with the Paw”
Write a bestselling book “How I learned to stop eating tuna fish and came to love vitamin pellets”
Light fireworks on a day when the humans want peace and quiet (revenge therapy)
Scratch your vet whilst he is preparing a jab
Put an electric fence around your territory to stop other felines intruding
Invent the paw friendly tin operner.
Buy an aquarium for your own private tuna fish.”
“Is that all Tabby?”
“Not quite, I am still thinking about some more.”
“I am glad you did not include me on the list and write “ban humans”.
“Definitely not Mr. Human. I would never be so cruel – to myself. I need a human slave to take care of my needs, whilst I am sleeping. By the way I plan to use my recycling tray in five minutes. Be ready for the cleaning process afterwards.”
“Of course Tabby, same litter as always?”
“Yes, although I read on my pawpad that you can now get litter with catmint scent added.”
“Is that a good idea Tabby? You might get high and forget to leave the tray afterwards.”
“That’s true Mrs.Human, you could perhaps put some in a separate tray, a sort of appetite encourager, before I enter the recycling tray for the real thing.”