Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Flattery


“How do I look Mrs. Human?”

“The same as ever Tabby.”

“You mean you do not notice the¬†difference.”

“No you look the same as every day, why is there somehing different?”

“I just spent the best part of an hour having a wash and manicure, as well as straightening my whiskers.”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t notice it, I was busy in the bathroom, getting ready for my excursion to the shops.”

“You don’t look any different as usual Mrs. Human.”

“Neither do you Tabby. Did you wash behind your ears?”

“Of course I did Mrs. Human, behind each ear applying the appropriate paw swipes. Did you wash behing your ears as well.”

“I had a shower Tabby, then automatically everything gets cleaned.”

“You mean you stand under water and get wet all over – how annoying. It would be more comfortable if you would have a lick like me.”

“No Tabby, humans do not lick, our tongues are not made to lick for a wash.”

“As I always said Mrs. Human, Humans have constructional defects. No fur growing out of the skin, no long whiskers on the face and ears that are flat on the side of the head, not to mention the miniature teeth.”

“We have everything we need Tabby.”

“But how can you bite into a nice thick moist steak with such teeth?”

“We use knives and forks Tabby, to cut the meat.”

“Showing off with the opposable thumbs again Mrs. Human. One day the paw friedly can opener will be invented. Our team of feline scientists are now on the final stages and then humans will become sperfluous, not needed. You will be out of work Mrs. Human.”

“And the cleaning of the recycling tray and filling the food bowl and water bowl?”

“OK, you have convinced me, I will keep you.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Flattery