Daily Feline Prompt: The Artifical Feline

“Look into my eyes. You will now immediately go to the cupboard and remove a tin of tuna fish. You will open it and place the contents onto my food bowl.”

“Sorry Tabby, you said something?”

“I have been reading a meow book about feline hynotism. It is the answer to all our wishes to ensure that the human fulfils our needs.”

“But Tabby I do that in any case, no need for hypnotism.”

“That is wrong. I have often yearned for a dish of tuna fish and what do I get? A bowl of hard unappetising vitamin pellets. This meow book is a best seller. It had the original title “50 Shades of influencing your human” but someone got there first, copyright stuff and all that, so now it has been retitled “The Artificial Human”.

“But we are not artificial Tabby, we are the real thing,”

“With a few manufacturing mistakes. So, now look into my eyes.”

“I often look into you eyes Tabby, but you never look into mine, you just blink and look away.”

“Of course, I do. There is nothing more boring than looking into the eyes of a human. I see only a simple life form, not even programmed for seeing in the dark.”

“I have an electric light if I want to see in the dark, or a torch, Tabby”

“Another proof of the imperfection of the human breed. We felines see in the dark by a slight manipulation of our eyes. And now concentrate, Mrs. Human. Go to the cupboard.”

“But I do not want to go to the cupboard, there is no reason to go to the cupboard.”

“That is not in my book of meow hypnotism.”

“Peraps it is more for hypnotising other felines.”

“You think so. That will not work. Felines do not look into each other’s eyes, unless they are sizing up the distance of scratchy quantum mathematics, judging the angle of paw.”

“Souds very aggressive to me. You know what Tabby. You would be better reading that Paws Siddartha book about forming the perfect lotus flowers as you walk. That would be more rewarding and who knows, they might become realistic one day.”

“You think so? But I still want tuna fish for my next meal.”

“OK, Tabby. You see it also works without hypnotism”

Daily Feline Prompt: The Artifical Feline

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