Daily Feline Prompt: Faded Feline Problems

Tabby
“Mrs. Human, we have problems.”

“I do not have any problems Tabby.”

“Mrs. Human if I have a problem, then you also have a problem as you are responsible for solving my problems, so thus we have problems. Look at my water, it  refuses to move.

Water“Water cannot refuse to move, it is not alive Tabby.”

“Mrs. Human we had this conversation a few days ago. My tongue is manufactured for drinking water and water is there to drink. I cannot drink water that is solid and refuses to move. And something else, it is cold, very cold. Do something!”

“There is quite an easy solution Tabby. Your water is frozen. It was outside, the temperatures dropped and the water has now become ice. I will empty your bowl and refill it with fresh water.”

“Will you have to bury the hard water.”

“No tabby I will wash it away with warm water, to melt it.”

“But the water is now dead. You should bury it.”

“The water has been frozen, it has become ice. It is a normal process because the temperatures have dropped to 0°.”

“What about me, will I become solid as well and turn into ice.”

“No Tabby, you can always warm yourself indoors and you have a bowl of fresh water next to your food bowl.”

“I just noticed a leaf soldier in my bowl of dead water. Perhaps it killed the water.”

“No-one killed the water Tabby. It is just frozen, that’s all.”

“I will now stay on guard at the window Mrs. Human to keep an eye on things. If I see the monster that is turning my water into ice I will pounce on it and make it fade away by applying my firy breath on it..”

“There is no monster Tabby, it is just the cold weather.”

“Aha, the cold weather monster, I knew it.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Faded Feline Problems

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Culture

Roschti

“Has he gone yet Mrs. Human?”

“Who Tabby?”

“Roschti of course, the feline who lives across the path.”

“He is on his way Tabby. If you are quick enough you might just be able to catch up with him.”

“I beg your pardon. I definitely do not want to”catch up with him”, I prefer to avoid him.”

“You should really make an effort to be more friendly with him. I am sure he would be glad to have a colleague that he can play with.”

“Mrs. Human “play” does not exist in meow, we are more into “fight” and “paw swipe”. Roschti is different to me, so I am really not interested.”

“But he is also a feline.”

“Of course he is a feline, but different. I do not like how he smells and he does not have the MacDonalds “M” on his forehead. He is also different to the Tabby felines.”

“You do not want to tell me because his fur is a different colour.”

“Of course not Mrs. Human, we felines do not recognise “different colour”, we are colour blind. He is just different. If you were a feline you would know what I mean. Only felines understand the differences. Roschti does not have the particular essence necessary to form friendship. And friendship does not exist ….”

“In meow?”

“How did you know I was going to say that.”

“Tabby it seems to me that a lot of expressions do not exist in meow. Being a feline must be very lonely when you do not mix with each other and get to know each other better.”

“We are felines and you are human. And even humans do not always get on so well with each other, can you tell me why?”

“Some humans are sympathetic and others not.”

“You see we are not so different, it is just that all other felines are not sympathetic with no exceptions. I love spending time with my humans. The simplest things in life give me the most pleasure: eating tuna fish and sharpening my claws on the table leg. That is my culture and I am proud of it – definitely not mixing with other felines. It is all about I, me and myself Mrs. Human.

“Yes Tabby, of course.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Culture

Daily Feline Prompt: The return of the leaf soldiers

Autumn Leaves 28.10 (2)

Tabby“I will open the window for you Tabby, so that you can go out.”

“No Mr. Human, I am only observing the situation.”

“What situation.”

“That is obvious Mrs. Human. They are gathering in strength, they are forming an attack. Look how they are just laying there, waiting for the moment to pounce. They are planning an ambush, I can hear their murmers, Kill, kill, kill.”

“That sounds quite dramatic Tabby. Who are we talking about?”

“The leaf soldiers of course. During the night they have decided to attack: have formed bataillons, there are hundred, no thousands, perhaps even millions of them. What chance does a Tabby feline with a MacDonalds “M” engraved on its forehead have, against such a ruthless foe. They know no mercy. There are too many of them to be trampled to death.”

“But they are just dead leaves Tabby.”

“They are not “just dead leaves” they are a threat to the feline existence. They are lying in wait that I make a move. No, Mrs. Human, there is only one solution, to have patience and wait. On the other paw as the famous feline General Whiskers Patton meowed “battle is the most magnificent competition in which a feline can indulge. It brings out all that is best; it removes all that is base. Felines are not afraid in battle. The coward is the one who lets his fear overcome his sense of duty. Duty is the essence of being a feline”. And he was the best fighter we had.”

“What happened to him?”

“He had bad luck in his last battle. He was already on his ninth life and that was that.”

“But you still have enough lives Tabby. Look the wind is becoming stronger and the leaves are disappearing.”

“Yes, I am saved. Perhaps there might be some leaf soldiers still alive. I will now leave my home and fight against the remainders. Prepare a dish of tuna fish for my return and warm my bed. It is a far far better thing I now do than I have ever done. I will be a hero in the annals of felinedom.”

“Yes Tabby, definitely, didn’t you steal that quote?”

“I wrote the original, the guy that put it in his book borrowed it from me.”

Daily Feline Prompt: The return of the leaf soldiers

Daily Prompt: The Feline pungent test

Tabby

“What’s that?”

“It is a piece of Mr. Human’s lemon tart. I must have dropped it.”

“What do you do with it? Can you kill it and eat it?”

“It never lived Tabby, so you cannot kill it and I don’t think that felines eat it.”

“You eat food that you cannot kill Mrs. Human – another strange feature of the human anatomy. If you want to eat something you must ensure that it no longer moves or breathes. How can you eat something that does neither, that must be a strange example of food. It is not even moving, dead before it even had a chance. What is its history?”

“It does not have a history Tabby, Mr. Human made it.”

“He creates dead things?”

“No Tabby, he makes them with various ingredients like eggs, milk and sugar with lemon juice.”

“There you have it, he is an alchemist.  I will have to correct the quote from the great feline scientist Paws Paracelsus to state that  “Medicine rests upon four pillars – philosophy, astronomy, alchemy, and Mr. Human’s lemon tart”.

“Not quite Tabby, he had the recipe from me.”

“Then you created life from dead matter in the form of a lemon tart orginally.”

“I did not create any sort of life, because it was all dead in the first place.”

“Which all reverts to the old feline philosopy of a discussion about what came first: the kitten or the feline.”

“No Tabby, you are confusing something with your feline sense of wisdom”

“Felines do not confuse, we organise. In any case I do not like that lemon tart, it is dead, has no interest for me. It does not even want to be killed. Now I have to sleep and poinder on the origin of the feline species and the lemon tart. I don’t think I will eat it in any case, it has a rather pungent smell.”

“Yes, Tabby, a good idea, this conversation is getting just a little too complicated for a mere human like me.”

Daily Prompt: The Feline pungent test

Daily Feline Prompt: Liminal Felines

Tabby

“Tabby, what are you doing in the bathroom?”

“I am endeavouring to make new experiences in life. I am in a liminal phase.”

“In a what?”

“A liminal phase. I thought even the human brain would digest that one. I am crossing a threshold into the unknown realm of things that happen beneath a cupboard in a human bathroom. It is an enlightening experience. I am endeavouring to discover the ambiguity of a feline life in an unknown cosmos. ”

“And have you found what you were looking for?”

“Not exactly. There are many equational discoveries to be made and many paths to cross before I arrive. By the way Mrs. Human, did you know that this place would be ideal for a comfortable sleeping area. Perhaps you could place one of my cushions here where I am sitting. I would be protected from any invaders.”

“Tabby we have no invaders, and I do not intend to make the bathroom another one of your sleeping places. Everywhere I go in this home, there is a corner with a cushion in case you want to sleep there.”

“I only want to help Mrs. Human. The more thresholds I cross the more space I have and the more I can expand my understanding of the limitations of the human race. It must be boring being a human and always sleeping in the same place. We felines extend our possibilities and overcome borders with no problem.”

“Of course you have no problem Tabby, because you have taken own everything. You even sleep on my bed during the day.”

“Just being liminal Mrs. Human.”

“Have you discovered a new word?”

“No, not me, I am just following a blog suggestion and find this is a very handy word. It has extended my understanding of overcoming the barricades imposed by the human race.”

“I do not impose barricades Tabby. You have a cat flap and and can come and go how you please.”

“But I cannot open a tin of tuna fish.”

“I do that for you Tabby.”

“But only when you want to, it is an infringement of my liminal abilities. One day, not so far away, when the golden sun sets on the horizon of the feline kingdom of earth, we will have our paw friendly tin opener and the threshold to independence and life without humans will be achieved.”

“Yes Tabby, but in the meanwhile you will have to wait until I open the tin for your next meal.”

“Ok, I suppose humans have to feel necessary sometimes.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Liminal Felines

Daily Prompt: The Liminal Quest

Chickens 23.09 (3)

There are always poblems, confrontations in life. We have lines to be crossed, each one being a threshold to the unknown. This was the case when Mabel decided to cross the road. She did not realise at the time that history was being made, she was on her own liminal quest to disover the meaning of a gallinal existence and she was making history.

On this day she was bored, pecking for seeds was no longer the fulfilment of her poultry life, she wanted more, she needed to cross the threshhold to new realms, discover what could be there and so she took her feathers into her clawed feet and made a memorable decision. The other chickens looked on in amazement. Where was Mabel going, what liminal quest  did she have  to fulfil, and where was the farmer? Christmas was far away, so her existence was secure, she was also the champion egg laying hen in the coop, what more could she want. She was the rooster’s favourite hen.
Harald the rooster
Harold the rooster had long discovered her value as a supporter for poultry rights. She instructed the other chickens that a good hen was a hen that laid eggs regularly, and stayed faithful to Harold whose responsibility was to protect them. But there were limits to her life in the coop. She wanted to go places and see things.

One day she noticed that the fence was being repaired and this was the chance. The wire was being replaced and the electric force had been switched off. There was no risk of accidentally touching wires that would make her feathers stand on end and so she took her courage into her wings and flew the coup. She soon discovered that chickes were limited in flying so as soon as she reached the other side of the fence she began to walk. The other chickens looked on and Harald called “Mabel where are you going,  stay here.”

But Mabel ignored Harold, she was a determined chicken she knew what she wanted. She crossed the surrounding field which had recently been mowed. The first danger loomed on the horizon. She found herself in a cow field. However, the cows were occupied with chewing grass and saw no danger in a chicken in their field. They called “Moo Mabel moo”, which translated meant “Go Mabel go”. In the meanwhile she could hear the chickens clucking and the cows mooing. They were supporting her steps to freedom.

It was then that she arrived at the road. This was the test, but she had come this far and wanted to know what it was like on the other side. Harold decided to come into action and ordered his harem to follow Mabel and form a corridor across the road, there was safety in numbers. His many wives followed instructions, heedless of the threat from the approaching traffice. Even the cars stopped moving seeing the chicken corridor formed across the road. And Mabel saw her chance and crossed the road between the rows of her colleagues. She had achieved her life’s purpose. She was the first chicken to cross the road to get to the other side. She quickly discovered that the other side was nothing special, no chicken food, no chicken coop and above all no Harold the rooster. And so she turned on her claws and returned to the coop.

Everyone clucked and rattled their beaks, Mabel went down in history. She was the first chicken to complete the liminal quest and Harold was a proud rooster.

If, like myself, you have no idea what liminal means, perhaps this scientific explanation of the bravery of a single chicken might put us all on the right track.

 

The Daily Feline Prompt: A sated feline

Tabby
It will soon be catmas and I am now making a list
Of things to eat of course, I want to have a feast
For the entrée I will take tuna, I always like some fish
Mrs. Human garnishes it with catmint to make a tasty dish
I will follow it up with meat, there are chickens on the farm
I do not want white meat or dark, I eat it all keeping quite calm
We also have some geese, so I would love to have foie gras
It would not be a problem, they do not live very far
What did you say Mrs. Human? “Vitamin pellets would be very fine”
I was thinking of something special, for my Christmas meal to dine
And so I have taken my pawpad and ordered my special choice
Mrs. Human pays for all, her credit card is my voice
I wonder if caviar with tartar would be too much to get
Of course not I am a feline, I am special and Mrs. Human is my pet
I have also found a gift, it will be in a wonderful wrap
Something I always wanted, a diamond encrusted cat flap.

The Daily Feline Prompt: A sated feline