“Mrs. Human, I do not remember giving you permission to reconstruct my blog.”
“I thought it was so appropriate.”
“Well, it is reality of course. We felines have to put things into the correct perspective. We must always be one whisker ahead when it comes to humans. They are so unreliable.”
“But Tabby, you can always rely on me. When did I ever let you down.”
“Do you want it online in a message, or would you prefer it in black and white so that you could perhaps put it on your bedside table as instructions for the day.
Vitamin pellets will no longer be served. They are artificial and are not a constructive nutrition for the feline brain. It is a well-known fact that fish encourages the development of brain cells, and thus only fish will be served in future.”
“Just a minute Tabby, the healthy vitamin pellets are tuna fish flavoured and the vet told me it is the best food for a feline, especially when they grow older.”
“The vet has no idea. Does he eat them, has he tried them out. Of course not, he is too busy making profits from the sales of the vitamin tablets. And I am not growing older. I remain the same. I have just lost a few lives on the way, but still have enough.
To continue: The human will be present at all times to ensure that her feline does not lack for any requirements. This means a permanent view of the window to ensure that the feline does not have to force its sleek and wonderfully formed feline body through the cat flap.”
“But Tabby you can come and go as you wish. You have a magnet on your collar which automatically opens the flap when you wish to enter.”
“Mrs. Human I had to wait at least a minute yesterday. The cat flap did no open at once and I had to carefully position myself in front of this magnet thing to ensure that the flap opened. If you were in the right place at the right time, this would not have been a problem. You would have opened the window and I would have entered as it should be.”
“Anything else Tabby?”
“I am thinking about it. Oh yes, as Winter has now arrived, I will be spending more time inside than out in the cold and I noticed that I will require more resting places. This morning I tried the chair in the living room and discovered that I have no cushion to rest my weary body. Buy me something suitable, but preferable in a soft non synthetic fabric. We felines like to feel natural materials on our body. Leather can be very cold and unfriendly to the fur. ”
“Of course, Tabby. I will immediately attend to your wishes.”
“You may go, but wait, do not forget to take the list with you.”
“Of course not.”