Daily Feline Prompt: Pillaging Felines

Tabby

“Tabby, have you seen my credit card?”

“You mean the one that you use to buy stuff on your computer.”

“Yes, it was in my purse, but no longer and there are some suspicious scratch marks on the leather.”

“Yes, well, not having opposable thumbs, I have to sort of dig my claws into the leather to get a firm grip.”

“Tabby, that is my credit card.”

“Mrs. Human, it is our credit card. We share, although share does not exist in meow, but I allow you to use it for a good cause. I saw there was a special offer on my pawpad for catnip and so I ordered a couple of pots.”

“But it is Winter, too cold for growing catnip in the garden.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, I also ordered the special grow lights and of course the soil to go with itfor growing indoors. You see, I take care of everything for you. It is all in this catalogue.”

“But that is expensive.”

“With a credit card it is no problem. I thought I might include my diamond studied cat flap as well. They are a special price at the moment because the sales are beginning. Shall I choose diamonds or emeralds. Everyone has diamonds, but emeralds would suit the colour of my eyes better.”

“Forget it Tabby. We are not millionaires.”

“Perhaps just a jar of Beluga caviar. It would make a change from the tuna fish.”

“Tabby I will put you on a diet of vitamin pellets and water if you continue. And give me my credit card back.”

“Typical human, no consideration for the needs of a feline. And I was ordering something for you.”

“You were, how generous, with my money.”

“Yes, I thought instead of you having to drag those heavy tins of tuna fish home from the supermarket, it would be cheaper and easier if I would place a gross order. They said delivery will be possible tomorrow.”

“Do what?”

“100 tins, is that OK? Mrs. Human, Mrs. Human. Oh, dear she has fainted, thank goodness I still have the credit card so that I can take care of things whilst she is recoverering. What would she do without me?”

Daily Feline Prompt: Pillaging Felines