Daily Feline Prompt: The feline quickens

Tabby

“Tabby you are speeding through the home like a  racing car.”

“It is time for my spring training. Nature is quickening, the mice are stirring and the birds are gathering new strength and energy. I have to keep up with it all. So, out of my way Mrs. Human, you are standing in the centre of my training lane. I have to have a clear path to be able to exercise all my muscles and whiskers. You know what they say “you snooze, you lose” and I must remain fit.”

“Yes, Tabby, but don’t you think you might be overdoing it a little. No, Tabby, not over my feet.”

“It is not my problem if your feet are in the wrong place at the wrong time and I can train my jumping abilities. The feline Olympics always take place in spring and I have to collect my prizes.”

“Prizes?”

“Yes, a sleeping lazy feline will never win anything. Last year I only found 10 mice and they all got away, because they were faster than me. Perhaps I could try some press ups, and aftewards a few rolls on my back. Of course I must have the corret food to build up my muscles.”

“I can help you there Tabby. Look a nice dish of viatmin pallets. They are full of goodness, and protein.”

“Protein? Is that a new breed of mouse. Do they move fast?”

“No Tabby, protein is part of the vitamines contained in those wonderful pellets.”

“Does tuna fish also have protein?”

“Yes, but it is not so much.”

“No point in rushing things Mrs. Human, I do not want to overdo it. You know what they say “slowly and surely wins the race”. I think I will stay with tuna fish. Vitamin pellets would be too much at the moment. So out of the way, and time me with that phone thing.”

“Ok, Tabby, 1 mnute from the beginning to the end of the corridor.”

“Oh, I sill have to train more, and bring it down to half the time. Those mice do not wait for me. I do not want to be the joke of the mouse holes.”

“Of course Tabby, perhaps it might help if you eat less. You have put on some weight during the Winter.”

“No problem Mrs. Human, my speed training will help with weight loss. Out of the way, I am coming.”

Daily Feline Prompt: The feline quickens

Daily Feline Prompt: Centre of Feline Attention

Tabby

“Of course I am the centre of attention Mrs. Human. I am the most intelligent here. I am the best looking and I know everything better. You should be satisfied that I even bother to speak to you, once being a god. We felines do not meow with everyone.”

“Of course Tabby, it is always Tabby first.”

“I hope so. There is even a human that copies my words of wisdom I heard. He definitely gets his ideas from his feline.”

“How do you know Tabby.”

“Because his feline is a distant relative of Roschti, the ginger tom from next door. I told you never trust a ginger feline, they want to rule the world through their servants. They are sure that everything that is different is something to be removed from their surroundings. The even choose servants that look like them. I heard that they are now segregating the felines with the Macdonalds “M” on their forehead, as they fear our superior intelligence. Thank goodness this is not happening in my territory.”

“I did not realise that felines have such problems, they all look alike to me.*

“Typical human, all you see are the wiskers, the paws and the tail. Inside we are sensitive creatures, to be cared for and treated with respect, unless they are ginger toms, which are to be ignored. Never let a ginger tom into my territory Mr. Human. As soon as they put one paw over the border, they arrive with all four paws and we superior Tabby felines with the Macdonald’s “M” will be pushed into a corner.”

“But I find Roschti a very nice feline.”

“Only felines understand other felines Mr. Human, especially if they were worshipped as gods like my ancestors. Never trust a ginger tom, they are all fakes.”

“OK, Tabby, is there anything else you would like to make your day perfect?”

“A bowl of tuna fish, room temperature, with a garnish of tarragon. We also eat with the eyes and the whiskers.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Centre of Feline Attention

Daily Feline Prompt: Do cats jiggle?

Tabby 26.02 (1)

“Mrs. Human, what is that for a silly question. For a feline that causes lotus flowers to spring beneath its paws when walking, I have no interest in jiggling, although I remember great uncle Paddy Cat in Dublin. He was a great jiggler. All the felines would meow together and he would begin to jiggle to the tune. He was quite famous.”

“You seem to have a large family Tabby?”

“That is a matter of calculation. An average female produces 4-5 kittens, sometimes more, sometimes less. It can be that 2, perhaps 3 fathers are involved in the production. Eventually we are not even sure if we kittens are only half brothers and sisters, and so to simplify matters, we decide to forget such details as it is the relationship that counts. I think great uncle Paddy was actually on the third or fourth branch of the family connections, but he was a good dancer.”

“But Tabby, you can also jiggle quite well, when I switch on the laser pointer. You chase after the light constantly.”

“Yes, I know, and I have still not killed it.”

“You cannot kill it Tabby, it is just a light reflection.”

“You mean it doesn’t breathe.”

“No, it runs on a battery.”

“Can you kill batteries.”

“No, they eventually no longer work.”

“You mean they commit suicide.”

“No, Tabby, it is only a machine.”

“I will have to sleep over that one. Perhaps in the meanwhile, as a good night supper, you could jiggle with the can opener and serve some tuna fish.”

“What a clever way to use the word, even if it does not exist in meow.”

“Yes, I might even now include it in my vocabulary. And afterwards I will jiggle off to bed.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Do cats jiggle?

Daily Feline Prompt: An Arid Feline?

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, how would you feel when I appeared in your shower and took photos and afterwards distributed them for everyone of your followers to see in the blogging world.”

“I would be very annoyed Tabby, there are certain things that are private.”

“But taking photos of me in an intimate pose, when I am having a head to paw wash is allowed?”

“That is something different. You are not naked, you have fur.”

“Of course I am not naked, my fur is part of my natural covering. I have not yet discovered the zip to remove it when I am feeling hot in summer. But the effect is the same. I am in a very embarrassing situation when you show the photos of a paw wash. Look, you can even see my tongue on this photo – insulting.”

“But Tabby, that is a perfect action photo. I had to take at least 5 photos until I got the perfect picture.”

“And what are you doing with the other photos? Probably showing them on Pawbook and everyoe will be laughing at me behind their paw. There are moments in a feline life, when privacy is necessary. The Feline prophet Billy Whiskers eternal Paws Graham said “Once you’ve lost your licking wash privacy, you realize you’ve lost an extremely valuable thing”.”

“Now do not exaggerate Tabby, you wash yourself at least five times a day.”

“So that makes no difference? We are clean felines in the fur and the paws. Humans only bother once a day, perhaps twice if they have something special to do. Anyhow I am now feeling quite arid, so fill up my bowl with fresh water.”

“Arid, that is a nice word.”

“I wanted to say thirsty, after all that licking, but I have to slip in the daily feline prompt word somewhere. So lead me to my bowl of fresh spring water.”

“No problem, Tabby, but it is from the tap.”

“Shaken, not stirred.”

“Yes Tabby, as always.”

Daily Feline Prompt: An Arid Feline?”

Daily Feline Prompt: Baby felines

Tabby and Nera  kittens

I remember my kitten days, they were full of new experiences. There were four of us I think, but only Nera and I were left, the others found their own human slaves, but so is the life of a feline. I even remember the day I was born. I was to be the first to arrive, the litter chief, so I was waiting to go. I could even see some light at the end of the tunnel and was ready, when I was overtaken by something big, black and fluffy. Yes, that was my litter sister Nera, she wanted to be the first. I felt a paw pushing me back to the last place in the line. It was Nera first, she would meow while we were all waiting, I should have realised then that she would be in charge.

She wasn’t even my real sister, we just happened to have the same mum. Now my dad was one of the active felines, always on the run from something. Mum said his name was Charlie and he looked like me and when she was ready, well he was ready as well. However, a feline is not made for eternal love, and so mum moved on to the next in line on the rooftop, or was it in the garden, cannot remember. Anyhow there  was a big black fluffy cat. He didn’t have a name, and they called him “The Boss”. He looked at mum and she fell with all her whiskers, and so Nera was born, my half litter sister – you know we felines are not so serious about the ancestry, we like variety, at least mum did.  I am not sure about my other two long lost brother and sister, but they did not resemble us either. Some to think of it, we all looked different. Yes, mum was quite a girl in the neighbourhood, they all knew her.

But she looked after us, although I remember that Nera was always first at the milk tap. I always had to wait until everyone was finished, but mum always kept some for me. She said I was the wisest of them all. It seemed I got that from my dad, Charlie, who was also known as the “consiglieri” amongst the other felines. He was in charge of the catnip handle and even dabbled a bit in Baldrian, yes he was always on a trip somewhere.

And so I was born. Nera and I took over the same human. Nera decided to stay with me, as I could advise her on manipulation of the humans. I would sit and stare at Mrs. Human and apply my influence on her actions. Then came the day when Nera was called to the eternal corn chambers, I warned her that she had used 8.1/2 lives, but she would not listen. However, now and again she reports back and tells me that living the tenth life is fun. There are always enough mice, they re-incarnate themselves daily. She said even a river runs through it, full of tuna fish – the real thing.

In the meanwhile I am now respected in my place as the influential one. I do not meow  very much but just keep a watchful eye on Mrs. Human and control her thoughts now and again, to ensure that they are to my advantage.

Daily Feline Prompt: Baby felines

Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Slur

Roschti 22.02 (1)

“Mrs. Human, what is that apology for a feline doing on MY blog Hissss”

“Tabby, calm down, and stop spitting and scratching the leg of the table. It is not your blog, I pay for it.”

“Mrs. Human, money does not exist in meow and thus “pay” also does not exist. This blog is a example of my creativity, my eau de whiskers, the essence of my feline life. I spend hours deciding on the wisdom I can impart on my blog and you upload a photo of my biggest enemy in the area. You even took the photo while he was sitting in my territory.”

“Calm down Tabby, it is the neighbourhood feline, Roschti. You share so much together.”

“We do not share, we fight for our rights and this photo is an insult to my intelligence, a slur on my feline rights.”

“But it is such a nice photo, and Roschti was posimg for the photo.”

“And where was I when this event took place? Did you ask my permission, did you come to tell me that Roschti was sitting where I like to sit? No, of course not, I am just a small detail in this feline realm. And look at the right front paw, disgusting.”

“You were sleeping when Roschti decided to take a walk though the garden. He paused awhile and posed for the photo. What is so distrubing about the paw?”

“The paw, it is the front right paw, the paw reserved for actions showing possession. When a feline places that special paw in such a suggestive pose, it means something, it is an insult. It is a possessive paw, this is my land, my territory from the apple tree to the hedge and everything between belongs to me. I will now have to fight for my feline rights in this area.  I spent many years claiming my land and you have destroyed it with a mobile phone uploaded photo.”

“But Tabby, I am sure that Roschti meant no harm, he was just calling to say hello.”

“Felines do not call to say hello, we call to say move.”

“But whenever Roschti visits, you make a quick disappearance through the cat flap.”

“Yes, well that is just a coincidence because he always arrives when I want to take a sleep.”

“Strange coincidences Tabby. Anyhow Roschti  has now gone to his own territory. You could take possession of his territory perhaps?”

“No time Mrs. Human, I have to catch up on my sleep.”

Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Slur

Daily Feline Prompt: Rhythmic Feline

Tabby

“One, two, three, paw”

“What are you doing Tabby?”

“I am measuring the size of my territory. It’s shrinking Mrs. Human.”

“That is not possible Tabby.”

“But  there are less leaves on the bushes than last year. Someone is stealing them.”

“Tabby that is because the leaves fall from the bushes in Autumn and have not yet regrown.”

“No, Mrs. Human, You have got that wrong. The leaves are soldiers defending my territory but they are cowardly leaves. They fall from the bushes in Autumn and do not return. I try to stop them by pouncing, but it seems they escape.”

“Of course they will return Tabby, they will regrow.”

“You mean there will still be enough leaf soldiers to guard my territory this year. Perhaps I should not kill so many in Autumn when they attack.”

“They do not attack Tabby, it is natural that the leaves die in Autumn to be replaced in Spring by new leaves.”

“You mean they re-incarnate.I believe in reincarnation, and I believe I’ve lived quite a few lives, already at least four, another five to go.”

“Yes Tabby, and you have braved many battles with the leaf soldiers.”

“But they do not die, I kill them when they retreat. Perhaps I should let them live. They would then remain and there would be no need for re-inforcements.”

“That is nature Tabby, the leaves die and new leaves appear.*

“You mean all the fighting and defence organisation was for nothing in Autumn. They always return. And what about my territory?”

“What about your territory?”

“It is smaller, shrunk, bare – I have no leaf soldiers to fight for my rights.”

“Don’t worry Tabby, you have me and Mr. Human to look after you.”

“Yes that is true, perhaps you could begin your feline care programme by serving a dish of tuna fish.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Rhythmic Feline”