Feline Dental Problems?


“Mrs. Human, do I have bad breath?”

“What a strange question Tabby.”

“I just wanted to know. Have a sniff.”

“No Tabby, I have no intention of giving you the bad breath test.”

“On my last degrading visit to the vet, when she stuck a needle in my private parts, I heard something about having my teeth cleaned. Perhaps you could do it with your toothbrush and toothpaste. Do they have tuna fish scented toothpaste?”

“Just a minute Tabby. I do not intend letting you use my toothbrush, that is unhygenic.”

“Unhygenic does not exist in meow. But the vet said something about putting me to sleep when they clean my teeth. I do not need putting to sleep, so if you do it there will be no need.”

“The vet said that at the moment everything is fine, but with time they will have to clean your teeth.”

“But I do not want to be put to sleep.”

“In that case you will nicely open your mouth and allow the vet to scratch away the stains on your teeth.”

“Definitely not without a fight.”

“Exactly, that is why you will be put to sleep, but it has time.”

“In the meanwhile you could perhaps search for a feline friendly toothpaste on your computer, and we can try that.”

“Which means you will nicely open your mouth and let me do the cleaning like on your photo that I took.”

“That is a yawn Mrs. Human, not a rehearsal for a teeth cleaning operation.”

“In that case we will have to go to the vet.”

“So what about my bad breath.”

“Tabbly I am not going to try to find out, and only another feline could give you an answer.”

“OK, let’s forget it, no vet and no toothpaste. I find I have super sharp teeth, that is all I need.”



4 thoughts on “Feline Dental Problems?

  1. Tabby I have been waiting for you all day and was wondering what you are going to say. Why don’t you have the human get you a can of tuna and use that as your toothpaste and after that you can eat the rest of the can. Don’t listen to her about her toothbrush, if she loves you, she will let you use it. Just make sure to bite it when she brushes you. Oh, by the way, you may want to not hurt the human fingers cause they are the ones that got to feed us. -Ruby

    Liked by 2 people

    • Scratches do not interrupt the opposable thumbs, the humans can still manipulate the tin opener. I decided that my teeth are perfect and do not need any alterations. Humans are no judge of good breath – ever smelt a human breath – it is bad, that eat vegetables and strange stuff like that.


    • Meow Dusty
      It was just a question to Mr. Human. I then realised that humans have no idea of bad breath. I mean have you ever smelt the breath of a human, terrible, really bad. In comparison I find we felines not only have lotus flowers spring from where our paws touch the earth, but our breath is of the sweetest smell of tuna fish you can imagine. The animals I hunt have no chance to smell my breath, it is a quick operation when I catch them, they do not know what has hit/bitten them.
      Tabby T. Cat

      Liked by 1 person

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