Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Hideaway

Tabby in bed

Who needs to hide
I will take a leap
Curl three times is a circle
And sink into sleep

I cannot see you
Humans ask why
But I see it all
from the corner of an eye

Feline eyes are perfect
The see in the dark
A bat flying past
He leaves his trademark

You think I am sleeping
I see every move
so do not touch my tuna fish
I will disapprove

Sometimes I hide
in a cupboard for more
then silly Mrs. Human
closes the door

I am locked in
so I make a loud  noise
“open the door”
I hiss and lose poise

The best hideaway
is on a warm bed
Under the cover
So warm for my head

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Hideaway

Daily Feline Prompt: Glittering Felines

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, do my eyes reflect light with a brilliant sparkling luster.”

“I suppose so, never really thought about it.”

“What am I here, just a feline to make the place look good? I put effort into my appearance, and you ignore me completely.”

“Stop sulking Tabby, after all you ignore me as well.”

“That is something different Mrs. Human, you are a human, an object to serve my wishes. I am feline, the ex-god, which one day will return. I have to ensure that the glitter does not leave me. Where I walk, lotus flowers spring from the ground. And I only ignore you when I do not need your services to obey my commands.”

“Yes, Tabby, of course, my day would not be complete without fulfilling your feline wishes. I have never seen those lotus flowers, it seems to be a feline thing. ”

“Another human imperfection, they are only for feline eyes. All you see is a feline that sleeps and washes, but if you really concentrate on my appearance, you will see so much more. My eyes have a wonderful glittering effect, I am so perfect, I cannot help it, I dazzle people with my beauty.”

“Well you do not dazzle me when I have to empty your recycling tray, or clean your food bowl.”

“Mrs. Human this conversation is far beyond your comprehension. Just pass me the mirror so that I can admire my glittering appearance.”

“Tabby, sorry, but the only time you glitter is when it rains and you get wet.”

“Forget it, how unromantic can one get. I am taking a sleep. You may serve my dinner in an hour, and remember, we felines also eat with the eye, so you could make an effort to arrange my food  in the bowl and not just put it in a pile, and spread some glitter around the bowl.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Glittering Felines

Daily Feline Prompt: Blurry Feline

Tabby

“Tabby, what are you waiting for?”

“You are eating, so what about me?”

“But you have a bowl full of wonderful vitamin pellets, they are so good for you.”

“Of course, Mrs. Human, but you do not eat the same thing every day.”

“No, Tabby, we like to have variety in the food we eat.”

“And so do felines. What are you eating now?”

“I am making myself and Mr. Human some ham and cheese with salad.”

“I am not equipped to digest salad, but my digestive system is definitely organised for ham. I am not sure about the cheese stuff. I know, you can give me some ham and perhaps a little cheese to try.”

“What about your vitamin pellets?”

“Forget it, I need something unhealthy, completely different.”

“OK, here is a piece of ham.”

“Where?”

“I put it down where you are sitting.”

“I cannot see it, must be a very small piece.”

“It is large enough to see, it is in front of your nose.”

“Where?”

“Tabby, you see a mouse on the other side of the field, you see birds in the trees and you can even catch a fly. Now you have ham in front of your mouth.”

“It is something like the opposable thumbs Mrs. Human. We do not have them, and our eyes can see for miles on a dark night, because we do not see dark. We adjust and everything is perfect. We do not need eye glasses.”

“So what about adjusting to seeing the ham in front of your nose.”

“Now that is complicated. That is an advanced learning curve. I have to sniff. Just a moment, yes I have found the ham.”

“You mean you are short sighted?”

“Of course I am not short sighted, I am feline sighted and I have my nose to compensate. Your ham on the floor in front of my eyes is a pink blur, but the ham in front of my nose is perfect in smell. As the wise feline Enoch Whiskers Powell said “If my ham sails from sight, it doesn’t mean the ham is not there, it simply means that the river bends towards the nose”.”

“Yes Tabby, very wise, although perhaps I should organise a visit to the vet just to be sure.”

“And you think I will voluntarily let him test my eyes – does he have a “meow” card to read.”

“No, I do not think so.”

“Then forget Mrs. Human, as long as I can find my healthy, wonderful good-for-you vitamin pellets, I will not suffer.”

“Yes, Tabby, very wise.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Blurry Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Untranslateable Meow

Tabby

Meow oo wow
Means let me come in
Meow iii wow
I am feeling very thin

Meowowowow
is longing for a dish
Meeeowwwww
says fill it with fish

Me-me-meow
I will count up to four
Meow, with a paw scratch
means open the door

It is all very easy
It is written in scratch
A human can learn it
But will be a tough match

And now for advanced
Hiss, meow and  hiss
Hurry with food
I do not want to miss

Lessons in meow
are given online
Just tune in the computer
and write on the line

You do not need a keyboard
If you sharpen your claws
Humans have fingers
But can use them as saws

If hieroglyphic
were our first written speech
It cannot be difficult
For a human to teach

Mrs. Human learned it
she was a good match
if her learning was slow
I gave her a scratch

Daily Feline Prompt: Untranslateable Meow”

Daily Feline Prompt: Juicy Felines

Tabby eating tuna fish

“Mrs. Human it is time to paw my daily prompt. Where are you? Hello.”

No answer – looks like I have again been left on my own to write on the qualities of a juicy experience. I really only drink water, and that is not juicy, just very wet, but does well. Of course, there is the juice surrounding the tuna fish which I am now and again served, if Mrs. Human obliges. There you see how it is. We felines must wait until a human decides to serve the right thing.

Of course there is a system in the eating of tuna fish. The bowl arrives, and if Mrs. Human follows my instructions, which now and again happen, the tuna fish pieces swim in a sea of juice, fish juice, wonderful juice, the essence of feline dreams. As far as I am concerned, she can forget the fish and just serve the juice, but being human she cannot concentrate on such feline wishes. She concentrates on everything being good for you. If she served the hard unappetising vitamin pellets swimming in tuna fish juice, I might even be tempted to like them, but humans have no imagination – we felines eat with the eyes, whiskers and everything else. It is a joint effort of the feline physical construction.

And now down to work. First of all I slurp the juice, the pure juice, the wonderful juice, the essence of the feline eating world. When the juice is gone – what is left. Just the dry pieces of tuna fish. I then take a break to help with the digestion of the wonderful world of tuna fish juice, it is an unforgettable part of the food life of a feline. I return to the bowl after a digestive sleeping interval and eat the remainders. A further sleep is required to assist in savouring the pleasure of the wonderful food.

“Mrs. Human, where were you? You were at the hairdresser? I have written my daily feline prompt, you do not have to rush. And my bowl of tuna fish is empty. Time for a refill.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Juicy Felines

Feline Dental Problems?

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, do I have bad breath?”

“What a strange question Tabby.”

“I just wanted to know. Have a sniff.”

“No Tabby, I have no intention of giving you the bad breath test.”

“On my last degrading visit to the vet, when she stuck a needle in my private parts, I heard something about having my teeth cleaned. Perhaps you could do it with your toothbrush and toothpaste. Do they have tuna fish scented toothpaste?”

“Just a minute Tabby. I do not intend letting you use my toothbrush, that is unhygenic.”

“Unhygenic does not exist in meow. But the vet said something about putting me to sleep when they clean my teeth. I do not need putting to sleep, so if you do it there will be no need.”

“The vet said that at the moment everything is fine, but with time they will have to clean your teeth.”

“But I do not want to be put to sleep.”

“In that case you will nicely open your mouth and allow the vet to scratch away the stains on your teeth.”

“Definitely not without a fight.”

“Exactly, that is why you will be put to sleep, but it has time.”

“In the meanwhile you could perhaps search for a feline friendly toothpaste on your computer, and we can try that.”

“Which means you will nicely open your mouth and let me do the cleaning like on your photo that I took.”

“That is a yawn Mrs. Human, not a rehearsal for a teeth cleaning operation.”

“In that case we will have to go to the vet.”

“So what about my bad breath.”

“Tabbly I am not going to try to find out, and only another feline could give you an answer.”

“OK, let’s forget it, no vet and no toothpaste. I find I have super sharp teeth, that is all I need.”

 

 

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Sounds

Tabby

As you can see this was the portrait that made me famous through the feline world. My uncle the great Edvard Paws Meow Munch painted the portrait of me, known as “The Hiss”. It hangs in the Feline Portrait Gallery in the old country, next to the statues of my ancestors that were worshipped as gods, as we all know. If I had lived a million years ago, I would also have been worshipped, although my god status remains and waits for the day when paws will get opposable claws to use the tin opener. Until that day I can wait.

So yes, back to my famous portrait. It has been the subject of many examinations as to why I was hissing. Was there danger of an attack from an unknown feline, was my food bowl yet again filled with hard, unappetising vitamin pellets, or did Roschti, the feline from next door, invade my territory. It was none of these reasons. I hissed because I wanted to hiss. There does not have to be a feline reason for hissing. If I feel the urge, want to attract attention, find that Mrs. Human is becoming lazy, I hiss.

Many discussions have arisen when studying the details of my hissy face. Even my MacDonalds “M” design was distorted by this hiss. It was a hiss from deep down in the whiskers, not just a hiss, but a resounding hiss, one never to be forgotten and for this reason Uncle Edvard captured it on canvas – a very realistic effort. He is now repainting the background on the painting. He found that a framework of catnip, should be added and perhaps a river where tuna fish can be seen swimming.

Now one of the mysteries of this well-known work of art has been aired.

Daily Feine Prompt: Feline Sounds