Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Passport

Tabby 31.03 (1)

“Mrs. Human, where is my passport?”

“You do not need a passport.”

“Of course I do, it is important. I need to establish my identity amongst the other felines and prove that the MacDonalds “M” on my forehead has a meaning. My ears and eyes must be everywhere, I must keep my territory under control. I need my passport to be able to move in other territories and know what the other felines are planning. There must be something to prove my identity.

Tabby Immunisation Permit 31.03 (2)

“I have your identity card issued by the vet showing your birth date, sex and type of feline.”

“I do not trust the vet. I no longer have a sex since that memorable occasion upon one of my first visits to the vet, so that is a lie to begin with. And what an insult to call me a “house cat”. I am Tabby, once worshipped as a god, not a mere house cat, although I must say the description “tiger” suits me.”

Tabby Immunisation Permit 31.03 (1)“Sorry Tabby, but the word “tiger” on your permit only means that you are a tabby. It is a vet expression for your type. But your birth date is registered, 2nd April 2002. Here are some more details. The vet registers every time you get your annual jab.”

“In that case you can now organise my birthday gift, time is getting short.”

“Yes Tabby, I thought perhaps a nice tin of tuna fish.”

“A tin of tuna fish – forget it. I get that every week. No, I have decided it is not the tin that is important, but the bowl it is served in.”

“But you have a nice bowl Tabby.”

“Of course I have a nice bowl, but it is not the bowl that fits my position. I have decided I must have a Versace designed bowl which would be fitting.”

“No, Tabby, you are expensive enough and the food tastes the same in a Versace bowl. All those entries in your health passport cost money.”

“Then save the money for the vet and spend it on my well deserved Versace designer bowl for my birthday.”

“Tabby, we have had this discussion before.”

“But then I did not know that it would be my birthday in two days.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Passport

Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Fortune

Tabby

“You are a lucky feline Tabby?”

“Really Mrs. Human? Have they at last found my fortune in the old country. Have they discovered the pyramid where my royal ancestor was buried with the human she owned.”

“No, of course not Tabby, after all that was just a legend. The humans were in charge of everything. They organised the felines to kill the mice in the corn chambers.”

“Forget it, we were first, and afterwards the humans. Without us they would have died of starvation. The kings were buried with us and not the other way. So why am I lucky if there is no discovered inheritance.”

“Because you have a warm bed and regular meals.”

“Of course. Does regular meals include hard, tasteless vitamin pellets.”

“Of course they are healthy, and other felines have to eat what they find in the fields.”

“Mrs. Human, ask a feline in the field if she would rather eat a fresh mouse, or bird than eating vitamin pellets. I am sure I know what the answer would be.”

“But those felines have to hunt for their food.”

“Of course, it is all part of the enjoyment of a good tasty meal. The anticipation of a tasty piece of meat is all part of the kill.”

“But you have trained me to make sure you have a comfortable life.”

“Of course, but sometimes you can overdo it Mrs. Human. When the instructions say “constant supply of suitable food” it does not mean processed vitamin pellets with catchpenny flavours, but food prepared with interest in the development of a satisfied and healthy feline.”

“But vitamin pellets are healthy.”

“Then why is your food not in the form of vitamin pellets?”

“Because humans eat with the eye Tabby. The food must look interesting and have variety in its composition.”

“And we felines can just chomp on brown tastless pellets that all look the same. That is not logical.”

“Ok Tabby, I will serve your food with more decoration from now on. Look a nice plate of food garnished with a mixed salad as a side dish”

“Are you trying to be funny Mrs. Human? I cannot digest salad.”

“That is why I serve  vitamin pellets to make sure you remain healthy.”

“Mrs. Human, once again this conversation is leading nowhere. Wake me up in a few hours to a meal of tuna fish and eat the vitamin pellets as a side dish to your meal.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Fortune

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Territory

Front Garden

Please do not be disappointed. I know you were all looking forward to seeing yet another wonderful photo of me, the most perfect tabby feline that you have ever seen. However, there are sometimes things that have to be done, but be patient. I will add my daily photo when I have finished pawing this memorable feline blog.

Today it is all about my territory. Of course, this is only part of the territory. there would not be enough room to show it all, so I chose just a small example. Feline territory is not just territoriy, it is part of our being, an extra whisker, a 10th life. We choose our territory carefully and deal with any other felines that would claim it as theirs. In this case it is wise to choose a territory which has no visible owners, as that could lead to paw and claw fights combined with bitten ears. Mrs. Human told me this was her territory, so I immediately did some careful markings along the border, and since then she asks my permission to enter.

Yes, the first feline rule is mark your territory and regularly, but discretely. Its scent can only be defined by felines, humans are of the opinion that it all smells the same. This is not true. Mine has a definite lotus blossom perfume slightly bordering on ashes of roses, and a slight waft of Jasmine. Mrs. Human says I am overdoing it again, as feline marking liquid all smells the same. She has no idea.

When the territory is marked it is advisable to perhaps bury further recycled matter in regular disribution, just to keep the others out.

This is of course only for beginners. There is a lot more to it and I will continue with the second part for advanced territorial marking later. And here I am pictured against the background of another part of my territory. Note the size, it is vast, it is all for me.

Tabby

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Territory

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Elixir

Tabby

I seek it here, I seek it there,
We felines seek it  everywhere!
Is it in the territory? Could it be in the house?
Where is that tasty elusive mouse!
He plays with my nose scents, he should have fear
He is my life’s necessary elixir
There I see him, this is not cool
He is waving his tail, playing me as a fool
I will get him one day I am  so sure
If I have to chase him across the floor
Mrs. Human says spare him, he is so sweet
Perhaps with sugar he might be tasty to eat
But why catch a mouse when I could have it all
Mrs. Human is cooking chicken, I can smell its call
Forget the mouse, it is full of small bones
Chicken is meat, so I have no groans
And now I am full, Mrs. Human is my staff
I will ignore the mouse, who is having a laugh

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Elixir

Daily Feline Prompt: Purple Feline

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, going shopping today?”

“Yes, but you have everything. The cupboard is full of tuna fish tins and we have at least ten kilo of those wonderful vitamin packed pellets to give you shiny eyes and whiskers and no Tabby, I am not going to buy a food bowl with Versace design.”

“I have a better idea. I should have a new collar.”

“But the collar you have is pefect, or have you lost it.?”

“No Mrs. Human, it is still around my neck. It is the wrong collar. I should have a purple collar.”

“But purple is not as nice as the collar you are now wearing.”

“That is the point Mrs. Human. I am a feline in the long noble line of Tabby Cats, with the MacDonalds “M” on my forehead. My ancestors were treated and worshipped as gods in the old country, and all I have left are vitamin pellets to choke on and tin of tuna fish which I cannot open due to the missing opposable thumbs. I should have a symbol to show my importance and thus I would like a purple collar, being a royal colour.”

“I am not sure if they have them in the store, but they have some pretty pink collars with a fishbone design in violet.”

“Mrs. Human felines in direct descent to the royal family of Tabby do not wear collars with violet fishbones.”

“Then perhaps in red if I find one.”

“You do not get the point Mrs. Human. I must maintain my respect amongst the other felines. I cannot walk around with an ordinary average collar, I must have something special and none of that plastic stuff, it must be real leather or at least genuine amethysts.”

“But Tabby if one of the other felines sees you walking around with such a collar, they would be jealous and try to steal it. There would be a fight, with fur flying and hisses and only one feline can win.”

“In that case I will sleep over it. Felines can be so thoughtless and selfish.”

“Yes, I know Tabby, such true words.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Purple Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Symbiosis

Tabby

Mrs. Human said make it short, because she needs the computer for more important stuff. So there you have it, it is not possible to live in symbiosis with a human. Someone has to do the organising and someone has to follow instructions. I told Mrs. Human that the computer is now reserved for my important views from the feline world and cats are first, humans somewhere lower along the line. I suppose Mrs. Human would be second as there is nothing else here to take the place.

If I want something done, like emptying my litter tray or my food bowl being filled then I give my instructions to my staff, Mrs. Human, and she does the necessary, so forget symbiosis. I adopted Mrs. Human, to work and not discuss technical details on the meaning of life. I am the meaning in her life, that is quite clear.

I have symbiosis with a hair ball and the hairball has symbiosis with my fur. It is a feline circle of necessary recycling. I swallow the fur, form a hairball and reproduce the hairball for a worthy symbiosis. If the hairball is not accepted by me, Mrs. Human disposes of it in the garbage. That is not symbiosis, that is one of her purposes in life. We might live in the same place, but that is necessary as she must always be attending to my needs.

There is perhaps a certain symbiosis with birds and mice. If I catch one, they would be a perfect meal, but they are not easy to catch. Felines amongst themselves do not have symbiosis, as we do not like each other. We have a territorial symbiosis, and every feline has its own. The word “share” does not exist in meow, so it depends on who can run faster than the others, or who has the longest and sharpest claws. I was always very fast on my paws and I find that the best solution. Why fight when it can be solved otherwise.

And now I mushttps://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/symbiosis/t go, not because Mrs. Human is still hovering and waiting for the computer, but I have other things to do. I have a very strong symbiosis with sleep.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Symbiosis

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Meaningless

Tabby

“Are you going to lay there all afternoon Tabby. The sun is shining outside.”

“I don’t care where the sun is shining, it is cold outside, there is a wind blowing to dishevel my whiskers  and fur and what is the point. I will just lay here and think about the meaning of sleep.”

“But there are things to see and places to go Tabby.”

“Good idea Mr. Human, then I would suggest you go places and see things on the way and perhaps call in at the tuna fish department of the supermarket, the supply is getting low.”

“Tabby you cannot sleep all day. You will miss half of your life.”

“Which life? I have already used up the first four and there are 5 to go, so why rush. As the famous feline Paws Hemingway said “I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake” and papa Paws Hemingway knew what he was talking about. When I am sleeping everything is perfect and if you go somewhere Mrs. Human, it will be more perfect because I can then sleep without unwanted disturbances. Bring the larger tin with the Japanese selection of tuna fish. I prefer it to the chinese sort.”

“Tabby your tuna fish all tastes the same.”

“To a human yes, but to a feline it is not the same, our taste buds are more delicate. Good bye and don’t make too much noise when you close the door.”

“Of course not Tabby. Shall I close the curtains?”

“Mrs. Human since when do I need closed curtains? My eyes have advanced automatic vision. Some animal species are more perfect than others.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Meaningless