Daily Feline Prompt: Feline box of yarns

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, I’m bored.”

“I found your box of toys today, perhaps you can play with them.”

“Toys? I never had toys.”

“Of course you did when you were a kitten. You would love to play with a ball of yarn, all felines like playing with yarn.”

“Mrs. Human, I am not “all felines” I am Tabby. Do not forget, I was once worshipped as a god in the olden days and the yarn always got mixed up with my claws. ”

“How could I forget it Tabby, you are always reminding me.”

“Show me the stuff you found, perhaps there is something there to relive my boredom.”

Cat Toys

“Look my mouse family are all there. I remember I had such fun pawing them all over my home. the fluffy one in the middle was especially sly. It would never lay down, but allways stood on it tail.”

“That was because it had a weight behind the tail to fix it in an upright position.”

“No Mrs. Human, you are wrong. Mice do not have weights in their bodies, it was a characteristic of that mouse to always stand upright.”

“But Tabby it is not a real mouse, just a toy.”

“I told you Mrs. Human, I do not have toys. They are the real thing. And look, my big roly ball is back and still has the little bell inside. So out of the way Mrs. Human, I have places to go and things to do.”

“Be careful Tabby. Look your mouse has now fallen into your water bowl.”

“I will rescue it Mrs. Human, otherwise it will drown.”

“No Tabby, it will just get wet. It is not a living thing. Tabby where are you going with that ball.?”

“I am pushing it next to my bed. If I wake up in the night I can play with it.”

“No Tabby, not in the night it will make noise and I will not be able to sleep.”

“Not my problem, Mrs. Human. but you can arrange the mice in my bed, so that I will not feel so lonely if I wake. I like that collar with the stars and moon on it, you can fit it around my neck and take the old collar away. Just imaging how Roschti the cat next door will be jealous of my new collar.”

“But Tabby, you have now spread the toys all over your home.”

“They are not toys Mrs. Human, necessities of daily life.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline box of yarns

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Perfume

Roschti

“Mrs. Human, there is a funny smell in the garden.”

“I don’t notice anything Tabby, everything smells the same as usual.+

“Sorry Mrs. Human, I was forgeting. Humans have an under-developed nose and they only smell what is in front of their eyes. Everything else is more luck than judegement.”

“That is not true Tabby, I have a very good sense of smell.”

“In that case you can tell me which strange feline is walking around in my territory. by his smell.”

“Of couse not Tabby, all felines smell the same and I have not noticed any other feline except for you.”

“Then take another smell, I am convinced that Roschti, the  feline next door, is invading my territory.”

“Oh yes Tabby, I can now see him.”

“Which goes to prove what I said. You can now see him, but not smell him.”

“Of course not, all felines smell the same.”

“”Are you insinuating that I smell like Roschti.”

“Of course not Tabby, you do not smell, only when you eat tuna fish.”

“But I am not eating tuna fish at the moment, only hard indigestable vitamine pellets.”

“That is why you do not smell, and neither does Roschti.”

“Of course he does, he has a waft of mysterious aromas, mixed with vitmin food and a tinge of average cheap tinned feline food from the supermarket.

“You see how lucky you are Tabby, being fed on exclusive delicacies.”

“That is a matter of opinion Mrs. Human. I can now see Roschti, he is sniffing the air. I am sure he is planning to eat from my food.”

“I can see him Tabby, what a lovely photo.”

“And now you are going to post a photo of the smelly feline on my own private blog.”

“It will make a change Tabby, at least he is not sleeping as you are when I take a photo.”

“I do not sleep, I am only resting my eyes. He has now moved on thank goodness. At last I can breathe the pure air of my own territoriy with no invasive aromas.”

“Yes Tabby, of course. Now it is all yours to enjoy.”

“Remember Mrs. Human, Tabby first.”

“Of course.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Perfume

Daily Feline Prompt: Felines Pemanently knackered

Tabby

I am knackered, kaput, so tired. Yes, it is an exhausting life as a feline. We are constantly working, no rest. As soon as I wake in the morning my hard tiring day begins. After a sleep I have to use my energy for a wash. Not just a quick wash, no, a thorough lick everywhere. Every hair of my fur must be cleaned from top to bottom, Afterwards I am completely exhausted, and so I must take a sleep to recover from the exertions, preferably in a high place to be able to overlook my world should I awake in between.

After this refreshing sleep, another wash in required, you can never be too careful. It could be that there are still traces from yesterday’s meal and it is not advisable for other felines to notice, they would become jealous. And so life goes on, and another sleep for a few hours is required. Life as a feline is so tiring but in the deepest of my dreams I hear the sound of a tin opener. I force myself awake and sniff the air which leads me to the place where Mrs. Human keeps the tins of tuna fish. She  fills my bowl. Although I can hardly stay awake, I force myself to eat the food she has organised. I now feel very tired, my paws can hardly carry me, but I manage a walk to one of my favourite sleeping places, not without having a good lick before hand. I encircle my bed three times, which adds to the exhaustion, and then rest my weary head on my paws to recover from the exertions. and I sleep.

Some hours later I am again awake and must have another lick. It is now the hardest part of the day. I have only an hour left and I begin to search. Eventually I find what I was looking for, a nice new place to sleep. My sleeping cushions are placed in stratigic positions, but the last and final sleep of the day is the sleep that needs silence to enable relaxation. I meditate an hour about the meaning of life and decide its meaning lays in the world of sleep and relaxation. Without it I would be lost, and so I rest my weary head, not without having a final lick, and sleep.

Oh the exhaustions of a feline life, we really know the meaning of the word knackered.

Daily Feline Prompt: Felines Pemanently knackered

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Blanket

Nera and Tabby

“Tabby, I was searching through the photos of you on a blanket, but everyone I found it was always you sleeping on the blanket and Nera, your litter sister, had to sleep on the hard leather of the settee.”

“Of course, Mrs. Human, it was the selection of the species.”

“But you were both felines.”

“It was a logical choice. If Nera slept of the blanket she would have been to big with all her long fur hanging over the edges, so this time I was first.”

“That was very considerate of you Tabby, to allow Nera to let you have the first choice.”

“Not quite Mrs. Human, it cost me a portion of tuna fish, as well as first choice to play with the mouse stuffed with cat nip.”

“You mean you had to bargain for the blanket.”

“Mrs. Human, you never got something for nothing with Nera. She could be very persuasive.”

“I notice you still rest your head on the blanket when you sleep, but no longer lay on it.”

“That is because I leave room in case Nera wants to sleep there on one of her visits.”

“But she is now in the eternal corn chambers, organising the mouse population.”

“Even champion mouse catchers need a rest now and again Mrs. Human. Look she must have heard us talking about her, she is arriving now. Meow Nera, I was just telling Mrs. Human you pay me a visit now and again.+

“Meow Tabby, but why is it that Mrs. Human always faints when she sees me?”

“No idea, something human probably, they don’t do 10th lives.”

“Of course not, no problem, so move over Tabby, I need a rest on our favourite blanket.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Blanket

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Roots

Tabby

I had a dream, I often have dreams. If your sleep for 23 hours during the day and spend an hour looking for somewhere to sleep, you have to fill the time in somehow. There was a long road and nothing to be seen anywhere. A lonely feline was walking, tired and hungry and her kittens were about to arrive any moment.

Suddenly there was a flash and a bang and a human appeared from nowhere. He was dressed in yellow in a onesie, you know like those one piece training suits. He had a big red badge stitched to his dress with an “M” in the middle, and was wearing red and white striped socks and big red boots. I know what you are thinking, felines cannot see colours. Of course we cannot when we are awake, but in our dreams we see everything.

Anyhow this figure saw the lonely feline, took it in his arms and flew along the road where there was a house in the same colours as his dress. The feline sniffed and discoverd the air was full of wonderful smells. The figure with the big M entered the house.

“Mrs. Mac  look what I found.”

“Oh how sweet Ronald, a lovely tabby cat, but I think she is having kittens. Put her in that nice warm basket, lined with the cushion with the “M” on it.”

And so it happened that the lone feline now became a member of the MacDonald family. The kittens were healthy and were well looked after. They could eat as many hamburgers as they wanted. They had arrived in hamburger land.

The kittens all had a mysterious “M” shape on their foreheads. And so they left and spread out into the world. All the offspring from the kittens had a Macdonalds “M” on their foreheads.

And then I awoke. I was sure I had found the source of my roots in my dream. Yes, I was descended from an original Ronald MacDonald feline.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Roots

Daily Feline Prompt: A gray Feline

Mr. Grey and Nera

“Look Mrs. Human, Nera my litter sister and Mr. Gray. Where am I?”

“You were not a close friend of Mr. Gray, and you avoided him where you could.”

“Yes, I remember, he was always hovering around in our territory.”

“He owned the lady living opposite.”

“Nera and Mr. Gray were often deep in converation. I think they were planning to amalgamate their two territories to one big territorial kingdom. Where is Mr. Gray now?”

“His human moved away to another territory on the other side of town.”

“Not that I miss him. I didn’t like him and he didn’t like me.”

“But Nera had no problems with him.”

“Of course not, Nera was the chief feline in the area and no other feline dared to contradict her wishes. She was always first. I noticed she also had some gray pathches of fur, but Mrs. Human you have a complete head of gray fur.”

“That happends to most of us when we grow older.”

“You mean I will also become gray.”

“I don’t think so, tabby felines remain as they are, although your nose fur is now quite white.”

“But my Macdonalds “M” on my forehead will stay as it is? That is my trade mark, the sign that I am always first and I will always get free hamburgers.”

“Of course Tabby, you are unique.”

Daily Feline Prompt: A Gray Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Zips and the feline

Tabby

The hot weather is arriving, I can feel it in my whiskers. They are beginning to hang limp and drooping, I am getting the high temperature symptoms. It is not fun having a permanent fur coat. There are moments when I lay in the shade of a tree to stop the concentration of heat on my body. Every furry part of my otherwise perfect body, tells me to find the zip. I have been searching for for years. If Mrs. Human suffers from the heat, she removes part of her clothing. If I suffer from the heat I have to find a place that is cool. If I retire to the inside I am missing all the fun. There are no birds inside, or mice, no action – just a bowl of hard tasteless vitamin pellets.

I wish I had a zip
to be a cool cat
I would lay all day in the sun
relaxing and getting fat

I would stay so quiet and still
And I would not go to town
I would remove my hot fur coat
and perhaps I might get brown

But so is the fate of us felines
I would really like to strip
so listen all you scientists
And invent the feline zip

Daily Feline Prompt: Zips and the Feline