Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Denial

Tabby 05.04 (3)

“Mrs. Human, where’s my tuna fish dish?”

“Not today Tabby, you had tuna fish yesterday and the day before. You are putting on weight and that is not so healthy, so today it will be healthy vitamin pellets.”

“I am not putting on weight, I can still squeeze through the cat flap.”

“Exactly, Tabby. The word is “squeeze” and that means that ¬†one day the squeeze will be a push and you will get stuck, because you eat too much unhealthy food.”

“Mrs. Human “health” does not exist in meow. Eating is part of the enjoyment being a feline and you are not going to deny my right to eat. And while we are on the subject, my special Versace food bowl has not yet arrived.”

“And it will not arrive Tabby, because it is too expensive. Food is food no matter what the bowl looks like, the taste is the same.”

“Wrong Mrs. Human, we felines eat with our eyes and the enjoyment of the digestion is enhanced when we have eating utensils to suit our status in life. We felines were worshipped as gods you know.”

“Of course I know that Tabby, you tell me every day, but that was long ago. I do not want to to hurt your feelings, but those days have now gone. We now have tin openers that need opposable thumbs and ¬†feline food has been impvoved. Even the vet said that you should have food to chew and bite on to maintain the strength in your teeth and jaws.”

“My teeth are strong enough Mrs. Human and I would have won the fight with the feline next door due to my strong jaws, if Mr. Human had not intervened. Yesterday I managed to eat my plate of tuna fish with no problems. It just slid down my throat.”

“Ok, then you can prove how well you can chew by eating that nice dish of vitamin pellets I have just served.”

“No interest. I have to grind them down into smaller pieces and that needs energy. It will take twice as long to finish the bowl of food.”

“Tabby that bowl is enough until tomorrow to eat, it is not the idea that you have to swallow it all in a few minutes. You must eat carefully. That will encouge you teeth to grow strong and resistant. Tuna fish is not good for your teeth.”

“Mrs. Human, you have no idea. If I spend more time eating, it means less time sleeping. Life will become one stress and I will need consultaitons and therapy to calm my nerves.”

“No Tabby, just eat slower and enjoy your food. I am the one needing therapy and nerve calming because of you. The stress will disappear automatically, and the vet will not have to put you to sleep to remove the stains from your teeth.”

“Ok, but tomorrow is tuna fish first. My home is gradually resembling a prison camp.”

“It is all for your own good Tabby.”

“I feel fine, Mrs. Human, really. Look at the perfect hairball I just composed.”

“Yes Tabby, good girl, but life is not composed of perect hairballs unfortunately.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Denial