Daily Feline Prompt: Trace the Feline

Tabby

“Here you are Tabby, I was searching everwhere for you. I thought something had happened.”

“No Mrs. Human, nothing has happened. I decided to get away from it all, have a sleep, some peace and quiet, no excitement or stress, and then you appeared with your loud disturbing human voice.”

“But I was worried Tabby, I had not seen you for some time. I though perhaps you had got lost, or even trapped somewhere.”

“No Mrs. Human, I am pefectly safe, just relaxing in a quite place and getting some sleep. I can look after myself. I have more problems looking after you. It it wasn’t for me you would be constantly forgetting to get a fresh supply of tuna fish, not to mention constantly filling my water bowls with fresh water.”

“But you always have a supply of water Tabby, in two bowls.”

“I said fresh water. You have enough computers and time devices with signals. You should programme them more regularly for my water supply. Once an hour would be enough.”

“But you never drink all the water, so I though twice a day would be OK.”

“Mrs. Human, just do not think so much, it might cause human brain damage if you overdo it, just take action. And perhaps you could move the stone next to my right back paw. I would like to turn my body to the other side and it is in the way.”

“Of course Tabby, it must really be an inconvenience to your sleeping poisition.”

“It is, and now you may go. my sleep process is not yet ready to be terminated, I still have an hour of rest programmed. You know what that means Mrs.Human.”

“Of course Tabby, I will begin to prepare your tuna fish so that you do not get a cold shock if it come direct from the fridge. It means that when you have finished sleeping it will be at the right temperature for your digestion. Would you prefer it with a sprinkling of chopped chives, or a touch of tarragon.”

“Today I would like a side dish of catnip, to sooth my nerves. It will help to cure my stress situation.”

“But you are sleeping.”

“Sleep is also stress Mrs. Human, turning from one side to another, it is so tiring.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Trace the Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Buffing with a feline

Tabby 30.05 (2)

“I will be back Mrs. Human, just taking a breath of fresh air.”

“But keep to the paths Tabby. Yesterday your fur was full of grass from your walk through the meadow”

“No problem Mrs. Human, a good scratch clears it all away.”

“Yes and afterwards it is in the appartment.”

“You have a cleaning monster that sucks it all up.”

“I have a better idea Tabby. When you arrive home I could run the cleaning monster over your fur. It would remove all the bits and pieces.”

“No way, it would probably remove my fur as well.”

“It would keep your fur free from various insects.”

“I do not have insects, although ants seem to like me and they have a few good stories to tell.  Do not forget, we felines are prefect and have our own cleaning system. I have never seen a human that can scratch behind her right ear with her right foot. And there are other places that we like to lick clean which a mere human could not ………”

“OK, Tabby, I do not need instructions on the cleaning habits of a feline, go for a walk and keep out of mischief.”

“Mischief does not exist in meow, it is all a matter of occupational hazards and who can run faster than the others. See you later, I have an appointment with a wall that needs buffing.”

“Needs what?”

“I have to use this stupid word somewhere in my daily prompt.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Buffing with a feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Detonations

Tabby

There is nothing like a cooling drink of water when you have survived a stress situation. I had spent a few hours in one of my resting places. I was relaxed, had a wash and then was confronted with the next problem. Where shall I sleep now? I had already occupied the cushion at the top of the cupboard and Mrs. Human’s bed covers still had the dent where I had spent a restful two hours of sleep. I was bewildered, and knew I had to find a new place to sleep. Using the same places twice on the same day is not good for the balance of the feline vegitative nerve system.

There is only one cure for this problem: a drink of fresh water from the bowl, but there again which bowl? I decided on the bowl outside, as  I had already tasted the water in my dining corner. Inside water can be very boring, as it usually comes from this thing called “tap”, mixed with all sorts of chemicals as it is “good for you”. I discovered some time ago that the human phrase “good for you” has nothing to do with the feline ideas of well being. Although the water outside is also from this tap thing, it matures in the fresh air. It can absorb various aromas, even particles contained in the air. If it has rained in the meanwhile, this is a great improvement, adding various textures to the water. Today it did not rain, but the sun is shining and its ultra violet rays infiltrate the feline taste buds – this is strictly feline, humans have no idea what the are missing.

Note the placing of my right front paw in the bowl. This adds to the flavours from where my paw has trod. This is a special paw, and when placed in the water bowl, detonates an explosion of flavours. And now to sleep. I can see the shade of a tree inviting me for a further few hours of sleep. Three different sleeping places in six hours, this is feline ecstasy.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Detonations

Daily Feline Prompt: Radiating Feline

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, I am burning alive.”

“I cannot see any flames.”

“That was cataphorical. How would you like to wear a permenent fur coat in this hot weather.”

“But your fur coat belongs to you, otherwise you would not be a feline.”

“There are felines without fur coats.”

“They are a special breed, and in winter they probably have to stay indoors in the cold weather.”

“Do not change the subject. I am talking about me and not various feline freaks without fur. We had one once in the neighbourhood, I remember. They have a funny smell and lots of wrinkles in the wrong place. Thank goodness he moved away.

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Although perhaps he had a zip somewber to remove his fur coat in summer.”

“I don’t think so Tabby, Felines do not have zips for removing their coats. Why don’t you just lay quietly in a shady corner, to save your energy and cool down”

“Ok, but perhaps you could remove the sun in the meanwhile. That is the cause for my discomfort. Push one of those clouds in front of it.”

“Tabby, the weather does what it wants to, and I cannot influence it. Now what are you doing with your paws?”

“Searching for the zip. There must be one somewhere. I am sure it is probably at the back of my neck.”

“Why?”

“Beause it is the only place on my body that I can neither reach with my tongue or my scratching claws..”

“I can assure you there is no zip at the back of your neck.”

“You humans are really superfluous sometimes.”

“I thought we were quite useful to fill your food bowls and empty your recycling dish.”

“But you cannot switch off the sun.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Radiating Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Infusion

Tabby
“Look into my eyes Mrs. Human.”

“Why? do you have a problem with them. Are you hecomng short sighted?”

“Of course not. I am practicing catotism.”

“What’s that?”

“It is the feline form of hypnotism. I can infuse you with all my wishes and influence your will power to attend to my needs.”

“No problem Tabby, you managed that many years ago when you decided to move in and take over.”

“There is always room for improvement, no human is perfect.”

“Neither are felines.”

“Of course I am, it is just a matter of interpretation. ”

“This morning you deposited three hair balls on my bedroom floor, that is not perfect.”

“Of course it is, I was demonstrating possession. Where are my hairballs now.”

“I flushed them down the toilet.”

“You did what?. After all the trouble I took mixing various grass stalks to produce an exclusive hairball. You could have at least taken a photo.”

“A photo?”

“Yes for my Pawbook Challenge “Hairball of the day”. Tiddles is leading at the moment, His hairballs are voted to be the best, infused with all sorts of delightful ingredients. My hairballs have now attained perfection. I had to walk a long way to find the correct grass mixture.”

“Tabby I do not want any hairballs here for your Pawbook challenges, and I will not fill my photo files with photos of them.”

“Not even a small sample.”

“No, now go and eat your vitamin pellets like a good feline.”

“Ok, in this case I will, they are the perect basis for a good hairball.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Infusion

Daily Feline Prompt: Reprieval for a feline

Tabby

“Yes Tabby, is there something you want?”

“What about some food?”

“You have a bowl full of food, you can help yourself when you want to.”

“I mean real food, the sort you can savour in the taste buds, let the juice trickle down your throat and absorb every moment of flavour.”

“Oh, you mean you have a chewing problem. We must immedeately go to the vet.”

“Mrs. Human the vet is not the solution to all feline problems. That is not what I meant. There are problems that arise through neglect and carelessness and I am wondering whether to forgive you or not.”

“Me, I did not do anything wrong Tabby. Your food bowl is always full, often to the brim. There is always enough to eat. I am always thinking of your health.”

“That is where we beg to differ Mrs. Human. We have two different opinions of health. Health if for me a bowl of inviting juicy pieces of fish, each mouthful more inviting than the last. I often think you have lost the real meaning of health.”

“But your vitamin pellets are flavoured with fish.”

“I mean the real thing, where you realise what you are eating was once alive, swimming with fins and breathing, absorbing the pleasures of its fishy life and even eating the smaller fish to build up a concentration of taste for its after life. I very much doubt if your vitamin pellets were ever breathing, they were dead before they were packed in the plastic bag.”

“But vitamin pellets are an industrial product and especially constructed for the benefit of feline health.”

“Is that why they are packed in plastic bags? To keep them isolated from the the world. When you open a tin of tuna fish, I am already placed in surroundings filled with the promise of an appetising meal. The aromas already reach my nose before the tin is emptied into my dish. Vitamin pellets do not have the same effect and it is such a neutral process. Open the bag, fill the bowl with no feelings or insight, and shove it in front of me. There are no enticing flavours. Just a bowl of dry shapes, forcing me to chew them until I can swallow them. A pure harball encouragement. It is a feline sentence to suffer.”

“So what would you suggest Tabby.”

“That is quite obvious. Abolish the vitamin pellets. Only serve tuna fish.”

“But that would be very expensive Tabby to serve only tuna fish.”

“There you have it. It is all a questio of money, do I mean nothing to you?”

“Of course you do Tabby, that is why I always choose the best viatmin pellets.”

“A bowl of tuna fish is much better.”

“Ok, then I will continued to serve the tuna fish.”

“I should think so.”

“Stop stamping your paw Tabby I got the message. As always on Sunday and Wednesday you will get your tuna fish.”

“But…..”

“Now go and play outside Tabby like a good obedient feline.”

“I will report you to the association “Tuna Fish daily for felines.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Reprieval for a feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Survival

Tabby

Of course I will survive. I had 9 complete lives, and still have 5 to go, although I do not really remember how and when I lost the other four, but these things are stored in the memory whisker department. Whiskers are not just to admire and praise as  wonderful complement to my general good looks, they have a purpose. They are our memories. The one on the left that is hanging a little, is the place where my paw fights are stored. I survived them all, but each confrontation reduces the power of the whisker, that is why it is drooping. The whisker on the right at the top is my favourite whisker, because it records every mouse and bird that I have conquered up to now. On the left at the top is my tuna fish dish collection.

The reason why I have survived every problem and fight up to now, to be quite honest, is because of my talent for running fast. There is no point in being brave and trying to withstand oppression, especially if the other one is bigger and stronger that you are. No, the surviving felines are those that can run faster than the others. Forget bravery in the claws of the enemy, it does not work. Of course the first step when threatened is to use your hissy voice. If you notice that this is not working then run for it. Aim for your cat flap. You are then safe. You think I am a coward? Forget it. In the feline world it is not the survival of the fittest, but the survival of those that can run faster than the others. That is why I always return safely from my excursions into the unknown. Paws first forever. They are the secret of feline survivial, claws come second.

These are my wise words of today.

Tabby

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Survival