Daily Feline Prompt: Crispy Feline


“Good Morning Tabby, wide awake and ready to go?”

“I am not going anywhere Mrs. Human, unless of course my food bowl has been refilled.”

“Your food bowl is always full Tabby-”

“It depends on what it is full of.”

“Well at the moment I have a wonderful selection of vitamin packed food pellets, just what the vet perscribed to ensure you remain healthy.”

“I am healthy Mrs. Human, and there is no need for any additional assistance and the vet does not have a clue.”

“You should really eat them Tabby, they are chicken flavoured.”

“Mrs. Human do you like chicken?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Do you enjoy eating the meat from the bones, with its natural flavours.”

“It is all part of the experience Tabby.”

“So what about me? I get no bones, my pellets are only bones. I can be glad if I can bite through them and swallow them and I do not get natural flavours, I only get one flavour, a sort of chemically based “I was once a chicken” taste. Chickens walk on feet with legs, they do not roll around in a dish. I think I am missing something in my life Mrs. Human.”

“But Tabby the vet said …..”

“I don’t care what the vet said, It is all a public relations scheme from the manufacturers of the hard vitiamin pellet manufacturers, telling us they are good for us. The only thing they are good for is producing unique hairballs, a so-called recycling process.”

“Some felines would be happy to have a constant supply of food like you.”

“I am not some feline Mrs. Human. I am the one and only perfect Tabby, with the MacDonalds “M” on my forehead, The feline whose ancestors were worshipped in the old country, and they were not fed on vitamin pellets. They got the real thing with bones, the basic facts of food.”

“But you would have to hunt for your own food Tabby.”

“Oh, I though the humans were trained to do that in the supermarkets.”

“Of course we are, we capture bags of vitamin pellets for you and they are heavy to carry.”

“I will think it over Mrs. Human. In the meanwhile you can open a tin of tuna fish with your opposable thumbs and remember, killing tins of tuna fish would be easier than dragging heavy bags of healthy vitamin pellets home.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Crispy Feline