Daily Feline Prompt: Substandard Feline


“Mrs. Human, can you see it? I thhttps://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/substandard/ink I will have to undergo whisker surgery.”

“Everything looks OK to me.”

“Mrs. Human, do you have whiskers?”

“No, they are reserved for other animals, like dogs and cats. Even mice have whiskers.”

“Do no insult me Mrs. Human.”

“But your whiskers are perfect.”

“You must make a detailed examintion. The fourth whisker from the top is wilting, it is disintegrating. That is the beginning of becoming old. I will become bald, whiskerless.”

“I am sure they will grow again.”

“What do you know? And look at the bottom whisker, that is a mere shadow of a whisker: no substance, I will be the laugh of the territories: the feline without whiskers.”

“Don’t be so dramatic Tabby, all felines lose a whisker now and again.”

“I am not just a feline, I have a reputation to maintain. Make an appointment for a whisker replacement.”

“I don’t think that vets specialise in that sort of thing.”

“Vet? I need a qualified plastic surgeon, one that knows his handwork. Perhaps you could organise a catalogue so that I could select an approriate whisker.”

“Tabby, whiskers are whiskers, there is no choice.”

“I don’t want any whisker, substandard whiskers are not my wish. Perhaps they have gold whiskers, or even a silver whisker would suit my style. Do you think it will hurt?”

“I am sure it will not be painless, but you could always have the operation under anaesthtic.”

“Is that good?”

“It would mean you would sleep during the replacement operation.”

“Oh sounds painful.”

“That is the price you would have to pay for beauty and I don’t think your insurance covers whiskers.”

“Who needs an insurance, I just need a new whisker. Do you think my whisker will grow again.”

“Of course Tabby, and I am sure it will be the most beautiful whisker in the territory.”

“You are not kidding me, are you.”

“Of course not Tabby.”

“Then stop making human laughing noises.”

“Where are you going Tabby.”

“Want to have another look in the mirror, to see if it has grown since yesterday.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Substandard Feline