Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Magnetism

Tabby

“Tabby, are you still sleeping?”

“No the sleep process has been terminated. I have other duties to perform. My inner magnetic intuition tells me that I should begin a washing session.”

“But you have only been sleeping, and are not dirty.”

“It has nothing to do with dirt. We felines are never dirty. It is a magnetic attraction steered by the tongue combined with an impetus to lick the fur. Of course there is a licking programme to be followed. We begin on the plus side, where the paw meets the face. The paw is licked and then systymatic strokes are made at the back of the ear. You should always wash behind the ears my mum said.”

“That is what human mothers tell their children as well.”

“Mrs. Human, do not interrupt or dare to compare the secret methods of feline washing with human washing. We are magnetically equipped for our cleansing sessions. Humans must always use additives such as soap and water, which is usual to creatures on the lower scales of the biological system. We felines arrive in the world fully equipped with everything necessary – we need no additional help, we are independent and can do it all on our own.”

“Yes, I noticed Tabby, although sometimes there are places that you lick where I would not want to go.”

“Believe me Mrs. Human, I would not even ask you to and they are the minus positions of the magnetic force. After the ears we continue to the face and then it gets serious.”

“Really, how does that happen?”

“We just established that you do not want to know. But there is the manicure session which can get very detailed. Every claw must be cleaned until all foreign bodies are removed.”

“You have foreign bodies?”

“I usually dispose of them and if they are tasty I eat them.”

“Tabby I don’t think I really want to know the sordid details.”

“They are not sordid Mrs. Human, they are facts of feline life.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Magnetism