Now where was I. Ah yes, I was just having a wash, but what was I washing. I have raised my left back paw and it is half way up, so according to the law of feline progression somewhere above the waistline must need a scratch with a wet paw. Although I am not really sure if the paw is wet or should be wet. Did I lick it, or was it the front paw I was licking? According to the law of averages and feline logistics it should be a scratch on the ear. I generally lift the back paw for this reason and the paw is still dry. Yes, of course, this means that it was a normal scratch in the fur to improve the cirulation and kill anything that might be lurking in the roots.
Oh the problems in a feline life. Perhaps I should perform an intimate wash. We females are not like the tom cats. They don’t care, and do not bother. I can smell Roschti approaching, the feline who lives next door, before I see him and he thinks it is all part of being a tomcat. No, we felines are very modest and prefer to have a thorough wash and not just a quick lick. Mr. Human could you please put the camera away. There are actions I prefer not to be photographed.
And so to continue. I think I have now done it all and there is no piece of fur left unattended, and now I am ready. No Mrs. Human, I am not going for a walk, just want to be clean for my next sleep.