Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Sting

Tabby

“I am watching you Mrs. Human, so make no false move.”

“Are you threatening me Tabby?”

“Of course not, I do not bite the opposable thumbs that open my tins of tuna fish, but today is the day.”

“What day?”

“What you call Sunday, and what I call Tuna fish day.”

“There is no day called Tuna Fish Day.”

“You always serve tuna fish on your Sunday, and I am ready so you may begin.”

“I was actually planning on vitamin pellets. They will give you healthy teeth, bright eyes and strong whiskers.”

“My teeth are fine Mrs. Human, I can bite through the toughest vitamin pellet and have you seen how my eyes reflect in the dark. They are comparable to the headlights of a human car. Vitamin pellets are not necessary. As far as whiskers are concerned, that is my business. Humans do not have whiskers so they have no idea what components are necessary in vitamin pellets to make them stronger.

Whiskers are part of our wave lengths for decisions to be made on volume and size. They are the key to the solution of a quantum mathematical volumes, especially in the manufacture of hairballs. We can talk to walls, to trees, and even to stones, altbough the stones are still in the constructive phase. They are a hard plaster to crack, but we are getting there. So do not apply your deception, your sting on us felines, we see through everything.”

“And you can apply your whiskers to solve such mathematical problems.”

“No problem, Mrs. Human.”

“Then perhaps you could adapt your whiskers to opening tins of tuna fish.”

“That will not work.”

“I thought felines were so perfect.”

“Of course we are, but imagine that we could open tins of tuna fish. The humans would be superfluous, they would have no point in their lives. They would drift aimlessly thinking of the days when their life was filled with the necessity of pleasing their feline masters. No, Mrs. Human, life continues and so perhaps you could now open a tin of tuna fish, it is Sunday for the human, and tuna fish day for the feline.”

Daily Feline Prompt: The Feline Sting