Can you hear her, it is Mrs. Human. At last I have found a glorious place to be myself: to meditate on the meaning of a feline life, relax and enjoy the peace and quiet.”
“Tabby, where are you?”
Now she is worried, searching everywhere, and this time I am completely innocent. I did not leave the cupboard door open, after all I do not have opposable thumbs. If Mrs. Human forgets these things, then it is her problem. I waited a few cats whiskers, expecting her to return and close the door, but she had more important things to do it seems, although personally I am of the opinion that there is nothing more important in the life of a human than a feline.
And now I have a comfortable place all to myself, resting on the soft stuff humans call clothes. I have a ceiling and a floor and three walls, what could be better? I am surrounded in safety.
“Tabby, where have you gone. Oh dear I forgot to close the cupboard door.”
“Meow Mrs. Human, I am in the cupboard. Meow, Meow. Human, we have a problem. She doesn’t hear me. I am now locked in, and no-one knows where I am. I will die. There is no food and no water. They will find me in a month, a mummified object just like in the old country when my ancestors were worshipped as gods. Who knows, perhaps I will return as the deity that the humans will worship. In the meanwhile: scratch, scratch, meow, meow – I am dying.”
“Tabby, there you are. Did you lock yourself in the cupboard.”
“Mrs. Human, remember, I do not have opposable thumbs, so it was a human device that locked me in the cupboard.”
“But you have no business to be in the cupboard. That is for humans.”
“I decided to take possession of the cupboard, thinking that you had made it extra comfortable to rest my luxury body with all these human soft articles. And you have no business to shut the door before checking if I had taken possession of the cupboard.”
“But now I have found you Tabby.”
“Big deal, so what do I get for compensation.”
“Yes of course, I was trapped by human opposable thumbs.”