Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Cacophony

Tabby

“Tabby what is all that noise?”

“Mrs. Human, I demand entrance and again the window is closed.”

“But you do not have to hiss and meow as is the end of the world was nigh.”

“The end of my world is nigh Mrs. Human. I do not have opposable thumbs and have to jump over a chasm to reach the door which must be open at all times for my entrance.”

“Yes well it is not very warm outside, there is a wind blowing, and if the window stays open it can get very cold.”

“I do not see a problem. Of course, if you were equipped with fur it would be more sensible and you would not feel the cold.”

“It was only the primitive humans that had fur a couple of million years ago, but we evolved to the humans we are today, and no longer need the fur.”

“If you had fur you would be insulated against the cold air. Whilst you were still sitting in the trees we were being worshipped as gods in the old country. Are you insinuating that we felines are primitive.”

“Of course not Tabby, but you cannot compare a feline to a human.”

“Do not flatter yourself Mrs. Human. I would not want to be compared to a human. You might have opposable thumbs, but cannot scratch behind your ear with your leg.”

“I have hands to do that Tabby, my legs are for walking.”

“But you only have two, another faulty design.”

“In that case Tabby, you can walk around to the other side of your home on your four legs and ¬†walk in.”

“And you could open the window and let me in, which would be the easiest solution to the problem. By the way I just noticed that the neighbours cat marked his territory in the flower bed in your garden.”

“What! I must clear it away.”

And now she has opened the window and I can enter. You have to apply these tricks with humans to make them co-operate.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Cacophony”