I have now been simmering for at least 6 hours in my bed. What an exhausting life I lead. I had to turn at least twice to find a more comfortable position. My paws needed some exercise to keep the blood circulating and so I decided to take a walk around my home. I noticed all was quiet. Mrs. Human had departed to replenish my supply of tuna fish I assume. There would be no other reason to go anywhere as she is employed by me to care for my needs.
The cat flap is available to depart, so I will make an inspection tour of my territory. The wall is staring at me so I stare back and hear a noise. It is the return of Mrs. Human.
“Did you fetch my tuna fish?”
“Tuna fish? Oh I forgot Tabby, but look I brought you something much better, more healthy and it will keep you teeth nice and sharp. It was a special offer, 2 for 1, meaning I only had to pay the price of one bag and got an extra bag free.”
“Yes, they are so price worthy and you can keep them simmering for a long while, at least a year.”
“Oh great Mrs. Human, just what I wanted. What’s in that packet in the bag. It smells so wonderfully fresh and meaty.”
“That is my lunch for today Tabby.”
“But there is something oozing out of the packet.”
“Yes I must put it in a dish. It is fresh liver.”
“Fresh liver and I get dehydrated fossilized vitamin pellets – no way.”
“Tabby what are you doing with that liver.”
“Delicious, lick, lick. you don’t even have to simmer it Mrs. Human, I prefer it raw.”
“OK, I will make an exception and say “Thankyou” although the word does not exist in meow. did you want to say something Mrs. Human?”
“No, forget it Tabby, just being silly. I might even sprinkle some vitamin pellets on a slice of bread for lunch.”
“No need to be sarcastic Mrs. Human – oh that liver is so nice and juicy.”