Daily Feline Prompt: Final Feline

Tabby

I finally made it. It was an adventurous year, with its normal ups and downs. I managed to keep my five remaining lives and lost none on the way. I lost most of my lives when I was a kitten, but mum meowed that was normal.

Some time during the year we had a new breed of human called builder. I avoided them when I could, but they brought lots of interesting training platforms with them. There were ladders and nice comfortable covers to sleep on. Even my arch enemy, Roschti the feline next door took advantage of them.

Roschti 27.05.2017

Actually they were in my territory, but I decided to let him have his way. It is sometimes wiser to let things be. He nearly lost a life when he tried to climb on the builder’s gymnastic platform, but Mrs. Human helped him to find the way back – silly woman. You do not help other felines in distress, unless it is the feline that owns you.

Roschti

Unfortunately Roschti survived. I had some very interesting sleeps throughout the year and managed to increase my daily sleep by an hour. Food was not so good as there were more hard vitamin pellets being served and less tuna fish.

Tabby 22.09 (1)

Some of the stuff the builders brought with them was very good for feline exercises. I learned to jump over a ditch and walk on the edge of a metal platform until I reached my home. I also had a ladder to climb on, although Mrs. Human found that was dangerous.

Otherwise nothing really exciting happened and my bird statistics were zero, but chicken from Mrs. Human is also OK. Mice were also very rare, but I think the builder tribe was making too much noise and scared them away.

Tonight is one of the nights of the big bangs, so I will probably sleep through it all. Have a happy new year, I will be back tomorrow. I would thank you all for boosting my human disciples to over 1,000 this year, but as the word “thankyou” does not exist in meow,  just remember felines first.

Tabby 04.06 (3)

Daily Feline Prompt: Final Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Almost Feline

Tabby

I almost caught a mouse, it was faster than me
I nearly caught a bird, but it flew up a tree
I amost lost a life, but I still have 5 to spare
Four are aleady gone, but I do not care
I ‘m not quickest feline, the neighbour’s cat is faster
He chased me up the path, it was almost a disaster
I will not be  second best, and always am the first
At sleeping I am perfect, if you wake me up you’re cursed
I almost slept 20 hours, but heard the sound of a dish
I woke up in a second to get my tuna fish
Of one thing I am sure, I must always get my rest
And then I am no longer almost, but am the perfect best.

Daily Feline Prompt: Almost Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Extravagant Feline

Tabby

I am not extravagant and am satisfied with the simple things in a feline life. I am not disappointed that Mrs. Human did not buy me the Versace designed food bowl I was looking forward to for Catmas. I managed to swallow my disappointment by ignoring her for two days and making a nice scratch on her favourite armchair. I had to prove my point. It would really not have been a problem for her to have got me my long desired bowl and now she has to have the chair repaired.

Then there was the turkey dinner I was expecting for catmas dinner. OK, it was tuna fish, so I will not complain, but I had to look on whilst Mrs. and Mrs. Human enjoyed their dinner.

However I decided to help her to begin my New Year with the newest range of cat furniture. I sent her the Ikea link from my pawpad. Ikea asked me some time ago for a few suggestions on what a feline needs to be happy and they accepted my ideas. Of course I also had to make it canine compatable. I have ordered a few articles with Mrs. Human’s credit card to save her the time in ordering herself. I am sure she will be happy with my choice.

And now I will curl up on my normal, average cat cushion from the local supermarket. I can see her happy face when my new bed arrives from the Japanese feline furniture shop, also ordered online with Mrs. Human’s credit card. A feline that was once worshipped as a god in the old country, needs a little extravagance in its life now and again.

Daily Feline Prompt: Extravagant Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Cozy Feline

Tabby

“Just a minute Mrs. Human, where do you think you’re going?”

“I will be in the kitchen if your need me, Tabby.”

“I did not give you permission to leave, I need your attention.”

“Is something wrong? You look so cozy laying on the bathroom carpet. You can stay there, If I need the bathroom I can always use the shower. I don’t want to cause any inconvenience. What service do you require?”

“I am in dire need of a tummy tickle. Here I am relaxing on the carpet on a heated floor and you think that is enough. I need a human hand to perhaps give me a few attentative rubs on the tummy and afterwards you may move to my chin and stroke it.”

“Is that all Tabby, nothing else?”

“I am thinking about it, but for now it will suffice. And begin perhaps with the chin, the tummy can follow.”

“But I have other important things to do.”

“Nothing is more important than the care of your feline. You will be rewarded Mrs. Human.”

“You are going to give me something? I never knew you could be so considerate.”

“I am not hard hearted Mrs. Human. Even I like to share my purrs with you when I am contented.”

“Share your purrs? What am I supposed to do with them.”

“Cherish them and know that you are treating your feline with the care she deserves”

“But I really must go to the kitchen.”

“What is more important that caring for your feline owner.”

“I was going to open a tin of tuna fish and…..”

“OK Mrs. Human, then stop wasting your time on tummy tickles and chin stroking when thre are more important things to do.”

“But Tabby.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Cozy Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Confessions

Tabby

It wasn’t me, it was the feline next door. I get the blame for everything. Just look at me, butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth. I am so sweet and innocent and never do anything wrong. It wasn’t me that spread my recycling litter over the floor it was the fault of buying the wrong litter. Mrs. Human says that the new litter smells better. What could smell better than me, an insult to my perfection.

Always give the harmless innocent feline the blame for everything. Just because I have paws with claws it does not mean that I made holes in the sheets on the bed. It was circumstantial evidence. If the sheets were normal cotton nothing would have happened, but they were that stretchy stuff. I even had problems getting my claws out of the sheets. They got trapped and I had to pull to release them. Ok, perhaps the fabrik got damaged, but I did not do it on purpose, it just happened. Sorry about it. No, why should I be sorry does not exist in meow. We felines do everything with a purpose. Mrs. Human bought the wrong sheets.

And we felines have no need for confession. We are perfect and never do anything wrong. Why worry, if it really gets bad, we can always blame it on the dog. We don’t have a dog, ok, then blame it on the human, the next best thing.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Confessions

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Proclivity

Tabby

Or “The do’s and dont’s of a Feline Life”

Do not scratch the furniture!

I do not scratch the furniture. I make beautiful patterns and it is an exercise for filing my claws to a fine point and keeping them ready for scratching at all times. You never know when a territorial protection would be called for against other invading felines, or even humans.

Do not spread your recycling litter on the floor!

Now this really infiltrates my intimate sphere The recycling tray is for a purpose. It is filled with covering material. If Mrs. Human had a recycling tray insetead of her water bowl I am sure she would have problems. I always spread a little litter around my tray when I am finished to show that I have been there and done it. Mrs. Human says it blocks her noisy anti feline vacuum cleaner that she uses to remove traces surrounding the tray. Covering the recycled matter is a work of art, and  I do it perfectly.

Leave the bathroom!

There I am settling into a nice comfortable sleep, with protective walls on all sides, and I must leave. No reason is given, but it seems I am in the way. I am never in the way, I told Mrs. Human it is a matter of interpretation and I have nothing against sharing the bathroom as long as she stays on her side.

Do not sit on the laundry!

I do not sit on it, I sleep on it. One of my favourite places.

Do not manufacture hairballs on the carpet!

And where else should I produce a hairball? The wooden floor is not so convenient, the ball rolls away and is partially absorbed by the wood. The carpet is perfect. The hairball attracts material from the carpet which makes it stick together and keep its unique shape.

Yes the life of a feline is full or forbidden actions and no-one listens to a feline that was once worshipped as a god in its own right.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Proclivity

Daily Feline Prompt: Cherishing Feline

Tabby

Ok, I admit it,  I am a bathroom addict. I really cherish the bathroom, it must have been designe by felines for felines. It is the place where I can lay on a comortable mat, and let the warmth pulsate from the floor. It is one of the most comfortable places in the human household (with exception of the kitchen where there is a feeding experience). The main problem with the bathroom is that now and again humans interfere with my privacy.

“Tabby, you interfere with my privacy.”

“Mrs. Human this is my blog and I am writing down my bathroom experiences.”

So where was I, before being rudely interrupted. If Mrs. Human wishes to make use of this bathroom she should wait, but it seems she cannot always wait and so sometimes we must share. Now sharing is not in the feline was of life so we might have a disagreement about whose turn it it to use the bathroom. In the morning Mrs. Human tends to throw water around so I usually keep away, but for the rest of the day it is all mine.

A great advantage of a bathroom is that it is sealed on three sides. This means that I am protected although a door is available for any quick exits. It may be that I hear the magical sound of a tin operner  calling for my attention at my food bowl. This bathroom seems to be related to a box where we felines feel secure.

“Tabby, are you finished, I must visit the bathroom.”

You see there is no respect for a feline when I want to meditate and think about the meaning of life, a bathroom and even a box.

“Mrs. Human, you may enter, there is enough room for both of us.”

I think she has retired to the shower room making negative comments about felines being full of self-importance. Of course we are, bathrooms were built with felines in mind.

Daily Feline Prompt: Cherishing Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Mild Feline

Tabby

It’s Catmas at last. Will I get my diamond studied collar, perhaps my Versace designed food bowl, or even the long awaited Swarovski crystal studied catflap? Mrs. Human said I should be glad to have a bowl of food every day, even if it is only hard vitamin pellets.

In the meanwhile I will enjoy thinking about the delicious meals on wings in front of the window in the birdhouse. After all it is catmas and the birds have birdmas I suppose.

And now time to sleep. I have even put out a bowl of vitamin pellets for Santa Cat and a hairball. Oh, I just heard a noise, I think Mrs. Human has discovered my hairball and she is not very happy because she trod on it. I will have to produce another one now. Santa Cat always looks forward to my Christmas hairball.

Daily Feline Prompt: Mil Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Non-Communal Feline

Tabby

Pardon the startled look on my feline physiognomy but when I examined the word “communal” in the human meow dictionary, it wa written with a “*” instead of in meow. This means that it is a forbidden word and is never used in the meow language. Not even under special circumstances.

I asked Mrs. Human and she find it a wonderful word, telling of sharing and doing things together. I gave her a few hisses and a paw swipe and told her I never ever want to hear this human word again. I am feline, and felines do not do things together, it is a crime on the feline race. It is all for one (I, me and myself) and one for me, there is no room for including others. Not only is this theme non-feline, but Mrs. Human wrote her own blog and got carried away and published it on my own personal blog site, adding insult to injury. She has deleted it in the meanwhile at the threat of a paw scratch and I now hope it has not been seen by other felines. I would have to hang my whiskers in shame.

As the great Whiskers Shakespeare said “There are more things in heaven and earth, Tiddles, Than are dreamt of in your feline philosophy” and Whisker Shakespeare knew what he was talking about. We felines are lone creatures, and do not share or do anything with others unless it is a cold night, then we might cuddle a little closer to warm the paws. Otherwise remember, felines first. There are even human statesmen that follow this wisdom, were they perhaps originally felines?

Daily Feline Prompt: Communal Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Torn Feline

Tabby

“Yes Tabby.”

“Not “yes Tabby” but open the window. Things are going from bad to worse in my household. Not only do I have to wait for the window to be opened, but even the curtains are closed. You should revise your book of rules for feline slaves.”

“Sorry Tabby, but I was taking my afternoon sleep.”

“If I stopped working because I was taking a sleep, you would soon complain.”

“You work?”

“Of course I work. Do you think it is an easy job chewing hard vitamine pellets. I use most of my energy for eating the pellets, I am exhausted afterwards and have to take a 6 hour sleep to recover. And the manufacture of a hairball is not easy. Have you seen how I must concentrate my attention on the production.”

“Yes Tabby, often. That is when I have to concentrate my energy in clearing the mess away afterwards.”

“That is not a mess, but an artistic creation. So open the widow now.”

“Of course Tabby, your wish is my command.”

“And so it should be.”

“Where are you going now?””

“I have changed my mind and decided go out on the other side of my appartment.”

“Oh, thanks for lettting me know.”

“So why are you standing around, have you nothing better to do like openng the window on the other side?”

“But Tabby, you have your very own cat flap on that side of the appartment.”

“And. I have to position myself in front of the flap and push my way through, hoping that it will open.”

“It always opens, for that you have a special magnet on your collar.”

“Talking of collars, I have decided to no longer wear one. That is a symbol of feline slavery.”

“I thought I was the slave.”

“Where is your collar.”

“Tabby, this discussion is leading nowhere. If your highness could peraps decide when and where that it prefers to leave its feline mansion it would be a good idea. And forget the collar.”

“Oh, that’s a shame, typial ingratitude I had bought you one in black leather for a catmas gift.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Torn Feline