Daily Feline Prompt: Final Feline

Tabby

I finally made it. It was an adventurous year, with its normal ups and downs. I managed to keep my five remaining lives and lost none on the way. I lost most of my lives when I was a kitten, but mum meowed that was normal.

Some time during the year we had a new breed of human called builder. I avoided them when I could, but they brought lots of interesting training platforms with them. There were ladders and nice comfortable covers to sleep on. Even my arch enemy, Roschti the feline next door took advantage of them.

Roschti 27.05.2017

Actually they were in my territory, but I decided to let him have his way. It is sometimes wiser to let things be. He nearly lost a life when he tried to climb on the builder’s gymnastic platform, but Mrs. Human helped him to find the way back – silly woman. You do not help other felines in distress, unless it is the feline that owns you.

Roschti

Unfortunately Roschti survived. I had some very interesting sleeps throughout the year and managed to increase my daily sleep by an hour. Food was not so good as there were more hard vitamin pellets being served and less tuna fish.

Tabby 22.09 (1)

Some of the stuff the builders brought with them was very good for feline exercises. I learned to jump over a ditch and walk on the edge of a metal platform until I reached my home. I also had a ladder to climb on, although Mrs. Human found that was dangerous.

Otherwise nothing really exciting happened and my bird statistics were zero, but chicken from Mrs. Human is also OK. Mice were also very rare, but I think the builder tribe was making too much noise and scared them away.

Tonight is one of the nights of the big bangs, so I will probably sleep through it all. Have a happy new year, I will be back tomorrow. I would thank you all for boosting my human disciples to over 1,000 this year, but as the word “thankyou” does not exist in meow,  just remember felines first.

Tabby 04.06 (3)

Daily Feline Prompt: Final Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Almost Feline

Tabby

I almost caught a mouse, it was faster than me
I nearly caught a bird, but it flew up a tree
I amost lost a life, but I still have 5 to spare
Four are aleady gone, but I do not care
I ‘m not quickest feline, the neighbour’s cat is faster
He chased me up the path, it was almost a disaster
I will not be  second best, and always am the first
At sleeping I am perfect, if you wake me up you’re cursed
I almost slept 20 hours, but heard the sound of a dish
I woke up in a second to get my tuna fish
Of one thing I am sure, I must always get my rest
And then I am no longer almost, but am the perfect best.

Daily Feline Prompt: Almost Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Extravagant Feline

Tabby

I am not extravagant and am satisfied with the simple things in a feline life. I am not disappointed that Mrs. Human did not buy me the Versace designed food bowl I was looking forward to for Catmas. I managed to swallow my disappointment by ignoring her for two days and making a nice scratch on her favourite armchair. I had to prove my point. It would really not have been a problem for her to have got me my long desired bowl and now she has to have the chair repaired.

Then there was the turkey dinner I was expecting for catmas dinner. OK, it was tuna fish, so I will not complain, but I had to look on whilst Mrs. and Mrs. Human enjoyed their dinner.

However I decided to help her to begin my New Year with the newest range of cat furniture. I sent her the Ikea link from my pawpad. Ikea asked me some time ago for a few suggestions on what a feline needs to be happy and they accepted my ideas. Of course I also had to make it canine compatable. I have ordered a few articles with Mrs. Human’s credit card to save her the time in ordering herself. I am sure she will be happy with my choice.

And now I will curl up on my normal, average cat cushion from the local supermarket. I can see her happy face when my new bed arrives from the Japanese feline furniture shop, also ordered online with Mrs. Human’s credit card. A feline that was once worshipped as a god in the old country, needs a little extravagance in its life now and again.

Daily Feline Prompt: Extravagant Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Cozy Feline

Tabby

“Just a minute Mrs. Human, where do you think you’re going?”

“I will be in the kitchen if your need me, Tabby.”

“I did not give you permission to leave, I need your attention.”

“Is something wrong? You look so cozy laying on the bathroom carpet. You can stay there, If I need the bathroom I can always use the shower. I don’t want to cause any inconvenience. What service do you require?”

“I am in dire need of a tummy tickle. Here I am relaxing on the carpet on a heated floor and you think that is enough. I need a human hand to perhaps give me a few attentative rubs on the tummy and afterwards you may move to my chin and stroke it.”

“Is that all Tabby, nothing else?”

“I am thinking about it, but for now it will suffice. And begin perhaps with the chin, the tummy can follow.”

“But I have other important things to do.”

“Nothing is more important than the care of your feline. You will be rewarded Mrs. Human.”

“You are going to give me something? I never knew you could be so considerate.”

“I am not hard hearted Mrs. Human. Even I like to share my purrs with you when I am contented.”

“Share your purrs? What am I supposed to do with them.”

“Cherish them and know that you are treating your feline with the care she deserves”

“But I really must go to the kitchen.”

“What is more important that caring for your feline owner.”

“I was going to open a tin of tuna fish and…..”

“OK Mrs. Human, then stop wasting your time on tummy tickles and chin stroking when thre are more important things to do.”

“But Tabby.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Cozy Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Confessions

Tabby

It wasn’t me, it was the feline next door. I get the blame for everything. Just look at me, butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth. I am so sweet and innocent and never do anything wrong. It wasn’t me that spread my recycling litter over the floor it was the fault of buying the wrong litter. Mrs. Human says that the new litter smells better. What could smell better than me, an insult to my perfection.

Always give the harmless innocent feline the blame for everything. Just because I have paws with claws it does not mean that I made holes in the sheets on the bed. It was circumstantial evidence. If the sheets were normal cotton nothing would have happened, but they were that stretchy stuff. I even had problems getting my claws out of the sheets. They got trapped and I had to pull to release them. Ok, perhaps the fabrik got damaged, but I did not do it on purpose, it just happened. Sorry about it. No, why should I be sorry does not exist in meow. We felines do everything with a purpose. Mrs. Human bought the wrong sheets.

And we felines have no need for confession. We are perfect and never do anything wrong. Why worry, if it really gets bad, we can always blame it on the dog. We don’t have a dog, ok, then blame it on the human, the next best thing.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Confessions

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Proclivity

Tabby

Or “The do’s and dont’s of a Feline Life”

Do not scratch the furniture!

I do not scratch the furniture. I make beautiful patterns and it is an exercise for filing my claws to a fine point and keeping them ready for scratching at all times. You never know when a territorial protection would be called for against other invading felines, or even humans.

Do not spread your recycling litter on the floor!

Now this really infiltrates my intimate sphere The recycling tray is for a purpose. It is filled with covering material. If Mrs. Human had a recycling tray insetead of her water bowl I am sure she would have problems. I always spread a little litter around my tray when I am finished to show that I have been there and done it. Mrs. Human says it blocks her noisy anti feline vacuum cleaner that she uses to remove traces surrounding the tray. Covering the recycled matter is a work of art, and  I do it perfectly.

Leave the bathroom!

There I am settling into a nice comfortable sleep, with protective walls on all sides, and I must leave. No reason is given, but it seems I am in the way. I am never in the way, I told Mrs. Human it is a matter of interpretation and I have nothing against sharing the bathroom as long as she stays on her side.

Do not sit on the laundry!

I do not sit on it, I sleep on it. One of my favourite places.

Do not manufacture hairballs on the carpet!

And where else should I produce a hairball? The wooden floor is not so convenient, the ball rolls away and is partially absorbed by the wood. The carpet is perfect. The hairball attracts material from the carpet which makes it stick together and keep its unique shape.

Yes the life of a feline is full or forbidden actions and no-one listens to a feline that was once worshipped as a god in its own right.

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Proclivity

Daily Feline Prompt: Cherishing Feline

Tabby

Ok, I admit it,  I am a bathroom addict. I really cherish the bathroom, it must have been designe by felines for felines. It is the place where I can lay on a comortable mat, and let the warmth pulsate from the floor. It is one of the most comfortable places in the human household (with exception of the kitchen where there is a feeding experience). The main problem with the bathroom is that now and again humans interfere with my privacy.

“Tabby, you interfere with my privacy.”

“Mrs. Human this is my blog and I am writing down my bathroom experiences.”

So where was I, before being rudely interrupted. If Mrs. Human wishes to make use of this bathroom she should wait, but it seems she cannot always wait and so sometimes we must share. Now sharing is not in the feline was of life so we might have a disagreement about whose turn it it to use the bathroom. In the morning Mrs. Human tends to throw water around so I usually keep away, but for the rest of the day it is all mine.

A great advantage of a bathroom is that it is sealed on three sides. This means that I am protected although a door is available for any quick exits. It may be that I hear the magical sound of a tin operner  calling for my attention at my food bowl. This bathroom seems to be related to a box where we felines feel secure.

“Tabby, are you finished, I must visit the bathroom.”

You see there is no respect for a feline when I want to meditate and think about the meaning of life, a bathroom and even a box.

“Mrs. Human, you may enter, there is enough room for both of us.”

I think she has retired to the shower room making negative comments about felines being full of self-importance. Of course we are, bathrooms were built with felines in mind.

Daily Feline Prompt: Cherishing Feline