There is no doubt about it, I have a charisma, something that captivates everyone. I am adored by all. It is my charm that convinces. I only have to blink an eye and Mrs. Human reads my wishes from my whiskers. However, sometimes I have to give her a little friendly persuasion, a meow in the right place, and a snarl works wonders. She is well trained.
My mum told me that choosing a human is a careful process. Be sure that she likes tuna fish and realises the advantage of opposable thumbs, as we felines have not yet managed to open a tin with our paws. There should be no locked doors in your new home. If your play your whiskers right, the human touch will be reduced to servitude and they will do everything for you. There is just one word of warning. Humans can be slow in understanding what a feline needs for a perfect life.
I noticed that humans do not have the wall connection as we felines do, but there are some secrets that we must keep. Of course I taught my human the basics of meow and I must say she seems to understand. If I stare intensively as she is eating, she realises that her food is mine as well. That is part of the telepathic touch. Humans must feel guilty when they are devouring meat, and they must learn to
It is a long process, it needs patience, but eventually they realise who the real masters are, and the test is when you jump onto their most comfortable chair and the human leaves you to enjoy your well-earned sleep, although it is their favourite resting place. They do not need luxury, they have us.
And do not forget it is not just a patina, but it goes deeper. One day we will again be worshipped as the gods we are, we have time, we can wait. The Felines will return.