Wearing a costume? I beg your pardon, this is the genuine thing. Stop pulling my fur, it is attached to my body. Just give it a gentle stroke, but in the right direction. I am not a fluffy toy, but the genuine 100% tabby, nothing synthetic about me. Just see the fine details on my tummy, as soft as it comes. The hairs growing out of my ears? That is the proof that I am cat, not just a furry animal, but the genuine “I dare you to touch me” cat. My claws are always prepared, so don’t take liberties with me.
Whiskers? Of course I have them, all genuine 100% wired. They are my antenna to the world. Do not confuse them with the primitive insect sensory appendages, you can compare them to the icebergs. What you see is only the surface area, but what lies beneath is my computer, my bytes and my hard drive. The things that make felines meow and tick.
I do not dress up, the only external preening device is my tongue. It has a long welded connection to the fur. Always lick your fur, my mum said, it is your visiting card. No self respecting feline sleeps without having a long lick first of all. All the contaminations of the daily life, the food particles, the dust and other fluff attrected by its magnetism, must be removed and above all, never go anywhere smelling of your food, others will notice and might want a lick, or at worst a bite.
So today’s interview finished? Then I can continue with my private life, but wait, look, I can see an element of tuna fish between my claws. I just have to remove it and then I can relax. Take away your camera and microphone, to be continued tomorrow. I might take you on a hunt with me, for an action report, if I am not sleeping.