Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Warning

Tabby

“I think I will take a walk Mrs. Human.”

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know, I will find out when I get there.”

“Be careful Tabby.”

“Mrs. Human I still have 5 lives and I will be 16 years old next week. I have survived up to now under my own protection, so let us not exaggerate. What could possibly happen?”

“You could get lost, or stumble and fall.”

“I think there is more possibility of that happening to you Mrs. Human. Felines do not get lost, we have an extra sensory antenna which guides us to home, known as intelligence. Have you ever seen a feline fall Mrs. Human? We tend to arrive on all four paws generally, which is more than I can say for a human. We felines are superior and have a built in solution to all events. The greatest danger would be if the sky fell on my head, but it tends to stay where it is. Of course there is a time of the year when the leaf soldiers attack, but even that I have overcome by pouncing on them when they arrive on the ground.

You may cast your warnings to the wind. Oh, Mrs Human, be┬ácareful where you tread. Too late.”

“What happened Tabby.”

“You should really look where you walk, dangers are everywhere. You have squashed the hairball I just produced.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Warning

Daily Feline Promt: Feline Betrayal

Tabby
“Tabby your tuna fish is ready in the kitchen.”

“I know, I saw it.”

“Are you ill Tabby? It has been there for at least 5 minutes and you havn’t touched it.”

“I am waiting for the rest.”

“Rest?”

“Yes, where is the juice?”

“No juice Tabby. You only drink the juice and leave the fish for later. I also read that the juice from the canned tuna is not good for felines.”

“I think that is a decision I must make Mrs. Human. I decide what is good for me. I am served hard vitamin pellets because they are supposed to be good for me, and now you remove my right of having juice in my tuna.”

“But you still have the fish.”

“Which is dry without juice.”

“Well there is only one solution Tabby,”

“You mean add the juice to the fish.”

“I was thinking of cancelling the tuna fish, and just serving vitamin pellets which is a full value food for felines.”

“I want my juice with the tuna fish, it is not the same without. It is like a human would eat ham without eggs. The juice is necessary to complement the dish.”

“But you do not eat eggs.”

“Don’t change the subject. Tuna fish and juice must be served together, otherwise I will go on a hunger strike.”

“What are you doing Tabby.”

“Manufacturing a hairball, a big one, as revenge.”

“OK, here us your tuna fish juice as starter. I was just having a joke.”

“Mrs. Human the word “joke” does not exist in meow and my facial muscles are not capable of creating something like a laugh or smile.”

Daily Feline Promt: Feline Betrayal

Daily Feline Prompt: Frantic Feline

Tabby
“Tabby I thought you wanted to go out. I opened the window for you and now I am getting cold air in our home.”

“I did want to go out, but decided to think about it first of all.”

“What do you have to think about Tabby, Either you go or stay.”

“That is the problem Mrs. Human. If I go it might rain and I will get wet. I might suddenly be thirsty or hungry, and I could even have a fight with another feline. If I stay it means that I will not have the chance to discover what is happening outside. Of course I could have a sleep, a scratch, or a wash. There are so many decisions to make.”

“In that case I will shut the window Tabby.”

“No Mrs. Human, that will remove my right of decision.”

“How long will it take you to decide Tabby?”

“That is a very good question Mrs. Human. Making decisions is not easy for a feline. We might make the wrong decision. If I decide to go it could be that we have a deluge, a tree might fall on me, or you might decide to close the window, which means my chances of returning are diminished.”

“You can always return if you go to the other side of the apartment. You have a cat flap which is always open.”

“And then I will have to decide if I want to use the cat flap or not.”

“In the meanwhile our home is full of cold air.”

“Then wear a coat. I cannot just make frantic decisions, they have to be analysed and digested. I think I will sit awhile and ponder, no good rushing into things Mrs. Human. In the meanwhile I will sleep it over, shall I go or not – decisions, decisions, decisions.”

“Yes Tabby, what a frantic life you lead.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Frantic Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Quartet

Tabby

“Tabby, what are you doing there all alone?”

“Sleeping, have a problem Mrs. Human?”

“I though you were inviting three friends so that I could take a nice photo of your all together for the album and you could perhaps make music together.”

“You mean we could hiss in harmony. You thought wrong Mrs. Human, I do not have three friends, I do not even have one friend.”

“You have me Tabby.”

“I could hardly call a human a friend. That is all composed of give and take Mrs. Human. You give and I take.”

“I won’t dispute that Tabby, but you must have a nice feline somewhere that you can share with.”

“Mrs. Human, I must correct a few facts of feline life. In meow the word “share” does not exist not to mention “friend” and “nice” is non-existant.. Never trust another feline and sharing does not come into the question. The album is full of photos of I, me and myself, there is no room for other felines.”

“It must be a very lonely life you lead Tabby.”

“Yes it is, the perfect life. Everything is mine, it all belongs to me. If there were other felines we would be fighting because they would want to take it all over, and here is my territory. Yes, the life of a feline can be lonely, but it is a happy life with no complications.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Quartett

Daily Feline Prompt: Micro Feline

Tabby

I am not small, the chair is too big
I do not have short legs, so let’s dance a jig
It is better to be small and remain in the dark
And sing a soft meow, and not a dog’s bark
I can go on my way and will not be seen
I am very sly, they call me the queen
I am very quiet, and am often not heard
That is very important if catching a bird
I win them all and always lie low
My purpose in life is being micro
I know this is silly, a very bad rhyme
but what can I say, this word does not chime

Daily Feline Prompt: Micro Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: (In)efficient Feline

Tabby

Me, inefficient? Never
I wash at least 6 times a day
I sleep in between meals which can be 10-16 hours according if I am hungry or not.
I am always ready to help Mrs. Human by telling her when I have used my recycling tray.
I sharpen my claws regularly on wood, preferably a table leg-
I always deposit my hairballs for everyone to see. I am proud of my hairballs.

I am the most efficient feline in the neighbourhood.
I am so perfect, just look at me. Those innocent eyes and my ears with their unique fur tips.
Mrs. Human does not realise how lucky she is that I adopted her. She now has a purpose in her human life, to care for all my requirements.
Which reminds me, I need a tummy tickle, I must call her to do her duty. See you later, I have important business to deal with.

Daily Feline Prompt: (In)efficient Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Swallowing Feline

Tabby

“Tabby are you eating viatmin pellts? I thought you did not like them.”

“It is a matter of interpretation Mrs. Human. These are fresh vitamin pellets, straight from the bag.”

“But they are always fresh, straight from the bag.”

“Wrong Mrs. Human. If you take them from the bag and put them in my bowl, what do you have?”

“Vitamin pellets that are good for you.”

“I know all that, they might be good for me, but they are lacking that certain joie de vivre, that special zing. If I eat the vitamin pellets immediately from the bag, they explode with taste, but if I am not hungry and only eat them some time afterwards, what do I have?”

“Healthy vitamin pellets.”

“No, Mrs. Human, the special something is no longer there. It has disappeared, the punch is gone. They only have their meowful taste when they are fresh. In future I no longer want them in my bowl. You should serve my vitamin pellets a few at a time. When I have swallowed them, you may bring me some more, but fresh from the bag. Leaving them in the dish depletes their appetising values.”

“No Tabby, you always have a bowl full of vitamin pellets and you can eat them when you are hungry.”

“But the taste Mrs. Human.”

“They taste the same, no matter when you eat them.”

“Do you eat your food if it is left in a dish for an hour.”

“That is different Tabby. Human food is freshly cooked.”

“And my viatamin pellets lay in a dish all night and I am expected to enjoy them.”

“Ok Tabby, then I will only fill your dish once a day.”

“On the other paw, Mrs. Human. I will do my best to swallow them, if there is nothing else to choose from.”

“Very good Tabby, I knew you would see my point of view.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Swallowing Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Faceless Feline

Tabby

“Tabby could you turn around.”

“I am turning around.”

“I mean so that I can take a photo of your face.”

“What is wrong with my tail and back?”

“Nothing Tabby, but everyone would like to see your face.”

“No way Mrs.Human. I prefer to remain anonymous. I do not want everyone to recognise me when the see me. It could be very dangerous. I am so attractive that there is a danger I might be kidnapped and held to ransome.”

“I don’t think so Tabby, that only happens to special felines with rare qualities.”

“I am special Mrs. Human and am unique, with my Macdonalds “M” on my forehead. Just imagine if I went for a walk and never returned. You would have to alarm the police and send out a search party.”

“Sorry to disappoint Tabby, but that only happens to the rare breeds.”

“I am a rare breed. My mum only met my dad for five minutes and he made himself rare afterwards.”

“That is not what I mean, so turn around for a photo.”

“But you are getting an exclusive faceless photo. It will become famous and valuable amongst the art experts “The Faceless Feline” and you will be bombarded with enquiries as to who this special feline is.”

“You think so Tabby.”

“Of course Mrs. Human. I will even let you have a paw print on the original photo.”

“OK, Tabby, how could I refuse such an offer. Tabby the faceless feline.”

“That is the idea Mrs. Human: any profits made as contributions to my tuna fish fund.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Faceless Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Foreign Feline

Tabby

“Mrs. Human, I have to go to the vet.”

“Voluntarily? Are you ill Tabby?”

“No, I have never felt so good. I need to have a DNA test.”

“A what?”

“All the felines are having it done. Roschti discovered that his ancestors were originally tigers in the Swiss jungle. It shows your true origins and I am sure I am a direct descendent of Bastet and should be worshipped as a goddess. I need more respect.”

“But Tabby, that would cost a lot of money.

“Why is it humans always think of money. Nothing is too expensive for your chosen feline.”

“Ok Tabby, then open your mouth, I have to take a sample of your cells.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No Tabby, just a wipe around with this swab and then I can send it off to the authorities.”

Two weeks later the result arrived.

“Tabby the result is here of your DNA test.”

“What does it say, am I royalty.”

“Not exactly Tabby, something about a Tabby Cat, most probably descended from a normal street cat. They added if you have a Macdonalds M on your forehead, then the blood line is clear.”

“I am something special?”

“Yes, a special Tabby cat, one of the oldest feline races.”

“See I told you. I am royalty, something special. I knew it all the time. I am a feline queen.”

“But Tabby.”

“No buts Mrs. Human, and on your knees when you speak to me.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Foreign Feline

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Talisman

Tabby

Who needs a talisman? We felines have our own way of protection. I always have a good lick after a meal to make sure that the others do not smell food. My claws are sharpened to a fine point. You never know if I might be involved in protecting my territory and above all I must do a road check on my lives.

“No. 1 life are you still here?”

“Yes, ready and waiting.”

No. 1 life is the important one, because he carries the others.

“Lives 2, 3, 4 and 5 are you awake and fit?”

“Yes master, we are prepared for everything.”

I just have to check on my lost lives 6, 7, 8 and 9. I always take them with me, you never know. I might be able to trade them in for something, although the market for lost lives is a little down at the moment.

And now I am on my way.

“Wait for me”

“Who said that?”

“Your lucky whisker.”

“The most important part of my defence installation system. Ok whisker come on board but remain invisible until I need you. Are you ready to attack. We must keep our secret weapons in the the background.”

“To attention master.”

“Then let’s go.”

Daily Feline Prompt: Feline Talisman