Today I put my paw down, and stamped it twice. I refuse to eat hard vitamin pellets. Since I employed Mrs. Human she feeds me with the pellets. I have decided to rebel against this force feeding and am on a hunger strike. That means I will eat no food until I get my rights to a normal feline gourmet dinner. I notice she goes to my food bowl now and again and shakes her head in desperation. Since this morning I have not eaten a morsel, I might die of starvation, but we rebels have to suffer to win our rights: to conquer the oppression from the others, the humans.
They have a thing about eating healthy. They eat vegetables for example. Now no self-respecting feline would eat a vegetable. Carrots, Peas, cabbage: no thankyou, that is for the dogs. They eat anything that is served, they have no table manners. We felines are the gourmets and always wash before and after eating. Mrs. Human just does not realise that we felines have a delicate taste system and hard vitamin pellets might be good for you, but they refuse to slide into the digestive system like a bowl of tuna fish swimming in its own juice. You have to chew pellets and swallow them with energy and have you ever seen a vitamin pellet animal. No, of course not, they do not fly, they do not creep, it is dead matter, results of a chemical process.. I am now on a hunger strike. I could even die, but I will fight to the last and refuse this artificial dead material.
“Tabby, it is time for your dinner.”
“I am not hungry Mrs. Human.”
“But you havn’t eaten anything all day. You must eat to stay healthy.”
“I would rather die unhealthy.”
“And I just prepared you a bowl of nice juicy tuna fish to eat. I will have to give it to the feline next door, it is a shame to waste it.”
“Oh, in that case I will force a morsel down my throat. No do not waste it on the neighbour’s feline, I will digest it.”
“I though you was on a hunger strike.”
“I changed my mind and postponed it for tomorrow.”