Feline RDP#13: Feline Smorgasbord


“Tabby, that is not very nice, growling at everyone and it looks like we should pay a visit to the vet to have your teeth scrapped.”

“My teeth are in perfect condition, it is the light that dims their radiance. Mrs. Human, what do you expect. I have been working hard all day and as a reward I just get a bowl of hard indigestible tasteless vitamin pellets. You could at least add a little variety to my menu: a sprig of rosemary, or thyme to the dish, it would make all the difference.”

“But Tabby, you do not eat herbs, your system is not equipped for digesting anything other than meat and I have not noticed that you have been hard at work.”

“Of course I was. It is not easy washing my complete wonderful luxurious fur with just one tongue and the sleeping exercise I had to perform as a follow up. At least six hours I had to sleep and now I am hungry, and not for a bowl of vitamin pellets. There must be a change here. You must buy at least 3 more bowls for my daily meal.”

“But one bowl is sufficient for your needs.”

“You think. I want choice. I notice humans eat something different every day, or would you like to eat your spaghetti every day with the same taste.”

“Of course not Tabby, we like variation in our meals.”

“And so do we felines. All I am asking is that perhaps in one bowl I could have an appetizer. Perhaps some finely minced chicken liver, just as a starter. In the second bowl you could put the main dish, preferably tuna fish in its juice of course, and as a follow up some yogurt as a digestive help. Just make sure that there is enough water to help the food to mingle with my digestive juices, preferably at room temperature. And a rose at the side of the bowl would not be out of place. I am sure it would make the food all the more enjoyable. Bowls of vitamin pellets remove any enjoyment of food.”

“But you still have half a bag of vitamin pellets to eat, they cost enough.”

“There you have it, it all revolves on money. You have me Mrs. Human, something more precious that any money. To care for me and my wishes is the peak of human satisfaction.”

“Yes Tabby, of course.”

Feline RDP#13: Feline Smorgasbord

16 thoughts on “Feline RDP#13: Feline Smorgasbord

  1. I know that would suit you purrfectly a three course meal just like humans have. We should be totally worshipped every minute of every day…x๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜ป๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŸ

    Liked by 1 person

    • Something went wrong on the way with that worshipping. I worship myself every day, but the humans find I overdo it, what do they know they are not descended from the gods in the old country like I am. After all their ancestors lived in the trees and ate bananas all day.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I give our dogs bits of leftover with their dinners. I feel GUILTY when I fail to produce food for them and they have to just eat dog food. Fortunately, they aren’t quite as picky as Ms. Tabby, but they give me a “look” and I know I’ve failed. Again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Poor hungry Tabby gives me the starving look when I sit down to try and enjoy my meal. It is very reproachful, especially when she only has her boring pellets, so I have to feed her with prechewed samples of meat. Prechewed because poor hungry Tabby does not like her chicken, pork or beef with spices. Sometimes she will just stare at the offerings on the ground waiting for them to move.


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