Feline RDP #20: Feline Check


“Tabby you have changed your position. You usually rest beneath  the plants.”

“Just trying something new Mrs. Human. Here there is shade, the sun is ignoring this part of the garden, and it is nice and cool on the paving stones. Sleeping where the plants are can get quite irritating. There are moving objects on the plants and there is nothing more annoying than having ants creeping around in the fur. From here I also have a good view of my territory and if a bird might chance to fly past, I can keep my eye on it.”

“Good idea Tabby.”

“Perhaps you could make a check on my territory Mrs. Human. I am so busy with my sleeping preparations I do not have the time.”

“Tabby I am not a feline and do not have a territory, that is your problem.”

“It is only a problem if left unattended. Imagine if the cat next door moves in on it and has a recycling problem. It means that technically speaking it becomes his territory and then I must defend it. That would lead to hissing and paw swipes and injuries. It would be much better if you could take care of my territory.”

“Tabby I really have other things to do than doing a check on your territory every five minutes.”

“I thought I was the purpose of your human life, the reason for your existence and without me there would be no point in life.”

“Exactly Tabby, that is why I am now applying my opposable thumbs to the tin opener to serve a bowl of tuna fish.”

“With juice and all the trimmings?”

“Of course Tabby, that was part of my training programme, remember.”

“Of course. My observance of the sun tells me that in half an hour human time, my sleeping place will no longer be in the shade, but in the full sun. You know what that means Mrs. Human?”

“Of course Tabby, it means that your tuna fish should be ready in half an hour.”

“Exactly, you get 10 points,”

“What shall I do with 10 points?”

“Tell the other humans, Mrs. Human. They will definitely be proud of you.”

Feline RDP #20: Feline Check